Cal Vs. WSU: Mike Leach Is Taking The Bears Seriously

I think.

Just doing a little extra studying of this week's opponent.#GoCougs twitter.com/Coach_Leach/st…

— Mike Leach (@Coach_Leach) October 11, 2012

I can only imagine what the scouting report looks like.

1) WAIT TIL DEFENSE GOES TO SLEEP. THEY WILL NOT WAKE UP FOR FIVE MONTHS. PLEASE DIG A CAVE AT MIDFIELD FOR THEM TO REST COMFORTABLY.

2) STAND PERFECTLY STILL UNTIL TEAM WALKS OFF FIELD. THE BEAR IS A CREATURE THAT LIKES TO MARK ITS TERRITORY BUT WILL NOT ATTACK UNLESS PROVOKED. DO NOT POKE WITH STICKS.

3) DO NOT AT ANY POINT STUFF THE FOOTBALL WITH SALMON. THIS WILL MAKE IT VERY HARD FOR YOUR HAND NOT TO GET CHOPPED OFF.

4) IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE ZOMBIES, AIM DIRECTLY FOR THE NECK OF THE BEAR. ACTUALLY, SCRATCH THAT, ZOMBIE BEARS SOUND MORE TERRIFYING THAN REAL BEARS.

One can only hope this goes as well as Steve Sarkisian's experiment with a tiger before the LSU game.