clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

A Cal basketball nightmare timeline of misery!

And it might not be done!

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Nick is recovering from one of the worst weeks ever to be a Cal fan. So I have decided to put together a scrapbook of one of the quintessential weeks to be a Golden Bear! These are the sort of weeks that Lin Manuel Miranda needs to belt out a two hour musical to (by the way Hamilton is coming to San Francisco, which is more important than anything that has ever been written on this site, save YouTube Thursdays and HydroTech's souffle recipes. Buy your tickets or rob your neighbors!).

To recap:

Pac-12 Tournament Cal gets to the semifinals, loses because the Bears give up a coast-to-coast layup in 4 seconds. It was a brand new way for Cal to lose--a good defensive team doesn't play defense on the biggest play of their season so far. This is your standard Cal loss, or 0.25 Mack Browns.

Weekend before Selection Sunday: Cuonzo Martin isn't exactly an employee of Cal in the strictest sense of the word. He has an offer sheet, but not an actual contract. Why? Because athletic director Mike Williams basically said, "Stuff happens!" What a world! It's like I can write this post, and say I'm an expert on Cal sports! Take that John Crumpacker (is he still working at the Chronicle?).

SundayCal is a 4 seed! That's good! They get Hawaii, who are also pretty good. The game is at 11 a.m., which is not good because I'm at work and didn't watch the game. Can anyone tell me who won?

Monday: Cal assistant Yann Hufnagel is dismissed from the program after a report alleges sexual harassment.  Hufnagel is defiant and has since hired a lawyer to appeal his firing. The timing is unfortunate and the investigation dragged on for god knows how long.

Tuesday: The report is released to the public. It is very disturbing to read, you can click to read here.

Obama! The president picks Hawaii to beat Cal, proving once and for all his birth certificate is not in Berkeley!

Wednesday: The UCs announce a public investigation of Cuonzo for his conduct in the investigation, although athletic director Mike Williams is confident nothing will be found out of order. But I can't imagine Martin being too happy about the way his week is going.

Wednesday night: Christmas eve for college basketball fans turns into nightmare sauce when Tyrone Wallace reportedly breaks his hand again, ending his tournament before it even started. I played as many games as Ty Wallace in this tournament! Do I get a Senior Day?

Thursday: The tournament starts. And Wallace is revealed to be out 3-5 weeks! His Cal career is done. That is a shame.

Friday: Jabari Bird gets back spasms before the game even starts and can't even go. Jaylen Brown continues to play not like a top 5 draft pick and instead continues to impersonate Stanley from the Office. Cal loses to Hawaii and the season is over before we even knew what hit us. The only highlight of this is Cal Band got a great trip up to Spokane!

Aftermath: Cuonzo can't say much about what's coming next. Because we don't know what's coming next!

Sunday: Cal loses four star recruit Tyson Jolly, who apparently wasn't happy about Hufnagel's dismissal. That's the breaks. We have one recruit left in this class! That seems non-ideal when we might lose our three best players.

Not a great week. But to be fair, do we get many great weeks in Cal fandom? When do the Olympics start again?

Recap: All in all, not the best week to be a Golden Bear (and rugby lost by an Andy Ludwig-type score of 50-3! What in Yahweh's name???), but I'm someone who likes to think of the good times we all had this year, and a perfect season at home. I'm renewing my season tickets next year because in the end our lives are all about our experiences with our friends, colleagues, and all the people we know on Facebook.

I think you should do the same, even if in four months we're welcoming Coach Johnny Dawkins to the Bear Family!