Stanford Band defends themselves at being terrible. Could the ban grow even longer?

The Stanford Band isn’t backing down. They’re bad. They suck. And they’re proud of it!

The noise on the Farm released a long, rambling, nonsensical statement about needing to bring the funk back. It includes this wonderful sentiment.

This suspension jeopardizes the vitality and viability of the organization. The Administration’s decision to suspend independent student management of the Band also threatens the integrity of one of Stanford’s few remaining independent student organizations - and with it the values of free expression and irreverence which we believe are vital to a healthy university culture. More broadly, this sends the disturbing message to the Stanford student body that the Administration chooses authoritative control and administrative expediency over student freedom.

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Throughout this process, administrators have responded with continually moving targets, incompletely communicated expectations, and a persistent resistance towards viewing the issues from students’ perspectives. We are deeply disappointed that the Administration does not recognize the immense amount of effort put in by students, and we hope to demonstrate the degree to which we have evolved and encouraged positive change. If, as the University now claims, Band has a “systemic cultural problem,” it is that it does not fit into the mold that provides the University a lucrative brand, a well-manicured image, and administrative expedience.

While Cal has had a long history of protecting free speech for the rights of many people, Stanford is protesting free speech infringement for their crappy band.

Here’s what Stanford’s band has done with their free expression in decades of work.

• Banned for awhile from the state of Oregon for mocking the timber industry.
• Banned from Notre Dame for reenacting the potato famine and dressing up as pregnant nuns.
• Banned from Disneyland for things they did back in the 1970s.
• Made fun of polygamy when Stanford played BYU.
• Reenacted the OJ Simpson chase with a White Bronco at a USC game.
• Outraged Iowa fans who got treated to the FarmersOnly.com jingle, with a side of cow-tipping.
• Randomly enter a football field and let Cal win on the greatest play in college football history, at which point their usefulness dwindled to zero.

Stanford University has lost control of their band, and until they can regain control of it, perhaps they will stay on probation for even longer.

One can only dream.