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2016 Cal vs. Stanford Report Card

Another year without the axe...

NCAA Football: Stanford at California Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

Berkelium97: When I first made the following table I accidentally used the results from my file with the grades from last week’s blowout loss to the Cougs. Sadly, I couldn’t immediately tell the difference. I eventually noticed my mistake and fixed the results, but this week’s grades are just as depressing.

Average Standard Deviation
Pass Offense 44.8% 22.8
Rush Offense 37.9% 21.5
Pass Defense 28.1% 18.6
Rush Defense 10.2% 12.1
Special Teams 33.1% 23.7
Coaching 19.1% 17.7
Overall 28.5% 17.3
Win Probability vs. UC Los Angeles 30.5% (-20.4%) 21.3

Once again pass offense leads all categories! Unfortunately the score is about half as high as the scores we saw from Webb during the first half of the season. As usual, the defensive categories are abysmal. And coaching has been on a steady decline over the past month and a half. Fun times!

Our predictions of a win against the Normal School have dropped substantially despite their one-win-in-their-last-seven-games slump. The loser of this weekend’s game is going to have a very, very sad offseason.

Speaking of very, very sad, let’s get to the awards, starting with the lowest grades of the week.

Sonny Yikes

Name Grade
1. beson 0.00 (0.0%)
1. David Shaw keep your fat ass off the field you dickhead 0.00 (0.0%)
1. GiveSonnyTheAxeTheAxeTheAxeRightInTheNeckTheNeckTheNeck 0.00 (0.0%)
4. Mitchgobears 0.41 (5.9%)
5. Rollonyoubears111 0.70 (10.0%)

The primary reason I’m still doing these report cards after all these losses is to see what David Shaw’s #1 fan is going to say each week. Thank you for another hearty laugh!

Sonny Delight

Somewhere in the dark, rainy evening some of you saw a glimmer of sunshine.

Name Grade
1. FrmrG8r 3.60 (51.4%)
2. heyalumnigo 3.50 (50.0%)
3. Nor-Cal Scott 3.30 (47.1%)
4. ChairmanMeow 3.10 (44.3%)
5. Kmac 2.96 (42.3%)

CHAIRMANMEOW EARNS A SONNY DELIGHT?! After becoming a mainstay among the Sonny Yikes crowd over the past several years, CM must have seen something he/she/it liked on Saturday. Maybe it was the fact that we only have one game left until this season becomes lost in time, like tears in rain.

The Voice of Reason

Finally, we recognize those whose report cards are closest the average scores.

Name Deviation
1. CoBears .0841
2. AlohaBear .0885
3. Berkelium97 .0982
4. NinjaNed .1033
5. ABVidale .1134

CoBears rises from 4th last week to 1st this week. And look, I earned an award! I’m going to print this post out and stick it to my fridge.

GoldenBearsBandwagon: I have no plans on ever giving up on our Golden Bears, but at some point it just becomes so demoralizing. I, for one, am looking forward to this season being over so the youth on our team can get some more practice, get healthier, and work towards a more successful 2017 season. Let’s see what the other Cal fans have to say.

Gameday Experience

NinjaNed : The rain obviously foreshadowed our impending doom

FrmrG8r : Cold and wet. The perfect backdrop for another lackluster performance.

Mitchgobears: Cold, wet, sad.

Skatethompson: Wet annoying rain. You know - the type that hits the top of your hands and makes your bones ache. The umbrella restrictions at the gates were reminiscent of those special TSA officers on steroids.

Watching the only player on the field worth worrying about go for 285 yards on the ground....stomach ache.

Rollonyoubears111: It was fricken cold and the moisture ended up in areas that anaerobes fester. It was too bad the furdy music therapy patients didn't come to blow and pound on their wet instruments.

KMac: That was a lot of rain.

Nor-Cal Scott: Stayed dry in rain suit. Crowd size better than I expected due to rain.

Wiata78: Decent turnout for such a wet game. The student section was nicely packed and lively. Concessions ran out of hot drinks way, way too quickly. I had rain gear but also bought a $3 poncho. It leaked, so I got a replacement at halftime.

Got an uber ride from a Brooklyn native was was very much into Phantasy Star on the Sega Genesis. He was playing Phantasy Star music.

PRD74: Going to Cal Football home games, to me, is exactly like going to a gambling casino. I know that the odds are great that I will not go home a winner, but there is a minuscule chance that I might. Plus there is possibility that there might be some entertaining stuff going on that makes the overall trip worthwhile. My expectations are not aimed at seeing the Bears just winning the game. Instead, hanging out with my friends, high fiving after an occasional unexpected touchdown or defensive stop, and seeing the Cal Band doing it's thing (a very good band this year, by the way) is how I justify going to Memorial on one heckuva crappy weather day. How do you think I survived the past four decades of putting up with this sh*t? This Saturday for me, was fun. My GF was a real trooper and did not complain about being totally soaked and cold, not hearing the Furd band playing their sh*tty song after their many TDs, and the fact that the Bears did not get blown out made the day tolerable for me. You say that I have low expectations for the state of Cal Football? Maybe so, but I feel good about my life and am looking forward to doing the same routine next Saturday.

CoBears: Wet. Cold. Briefly uplifting. Ultimately painful, like unfreezing my limbs after the game.

Broden_Duff: Cal started the game off the right way to distract everyone from the rain. Pity it didn't last.

Pass Offense

Heyalumnigo: Too many screen passes. Should've gone downfield more often

NinjaNed : The screens were working early, which is surprising, seeing as they're generally really easy to stop if you got physical corners who an stick with the WR. But I think since they were working early the coaches thought they were going to be working all day, at the end of the game screens really let us down.

FrmrG8r : Decent effort on a very soggy night. The drops were to be expected. Still too many bad throws.

Sacman701: Moved the ball well at times but this really wasn't one of our better games. Webb was erratic and so were the receivers.

Skatethompson: It is quite astonishing the level of ignorance on display by the coaching staff when it comes to the passing game. I like to think of offense in terms of probability of success. This means all variables - weather, the quarterback, the receiver, the defensive backs and safeties, the type of throw, the angle of the throw, finesse of the throw - all should be considered.

Continuing to watch Davis Webb throw -2 yard sideline passes that on average gain 2-3 yards makes me sick to my stomach.

Continuing to watch Davis Webb try and hit a dinner plate 35 yards away with fade passes on third and three in the rain against a good defense makes me sick to my stomach.

Continuing to watch Davis Webb back pedal in order to read the defense, instead of stepping into the pocket, only to throw off his back leg, makes me sick to my stomach.

Continuing to watch the Cal Offense not implement a tight end into the passing game makes me really sick to my stomach.

Continuing to watch Cal with 3 minutes left in the second quarter throw incomplete passes only to go three and out, punt, and then let the other team score to take momentum into half - dare I say - sick to my stomach.

Wiata78: That first play was so nice! Typical Cal play to get your hopes up unrealistically. But there were also passes that were just misses, and some confusion on what the play was. This would mostly get fixed with another year of experience. Too bad we won't get that.

Beer & Nachos: Fairly good considering the rain.

BrooklynBear: So much comes down to the drops. Painful to watch.

PRD74: We heard from A&M fans that our new OC was a big screen pass guy. Wow, is he ever.

CoBears: The first pass to Hansen made me think we had a shot. Then we played the rest of the game. Uninspiring play after the first drive, even if we did take a second lead briefly.

Broden_Duff: Showed signs of life, but it was clear that the rain was being a little rude.

Run Offense

Heyalumnigo: Not bad. Got some good yards when we were still committed to running

NinjaNed : RBs are all heart, and when they're in space they're completely competent. Problem is, we rarely ever get them into space.

FrmrG8r : Stanford's strategy was clearly to take away the pass. Disappointing we couldn't run more consistently.

Sacman701: Not awful, but not much of a factor.

Mitchgobears: We quit on the run game in the second half. Big mistake.

Skatethompson: The run offense was truly a bright spot today. It was always there. Running between the tackles was working. But, like always, the run game was abandoned for side line receiver screens - and fade passes that do not need to be thrown.

Run the ball Jake. Oh - never mind - you are just trying to get your boy drafted.

KMac: Khalfani is a beast. Can't say enough good things about that kid.

Wiata78: KM was doing OK, but he didn't seem much faster than the Stanford defenders.

Beer & Nachos: What run offense. You mean those handoffs to keep the defense honest?

Goldenlikethebears: This appears to be an o-line thing

BrooklynBear: I thought the run game was surprisingly effective at points. I was shocked how Watson got chased down on the sprint toss play.

PRD74: Our RBs are not the problem. TW and KM are two of the hardest charging, always trying guys the Bears have ever suited up. The problem is that they are not getting the openings that they need to be successful. The Big Fullback had a great game.

Broden_Duff: Moved the chains and kept us somewhat in the game.

Pass Defense

Heyalumnigo: Two bad blown coverages that I remember. The long pass on 3rd down (I think) where Franklin let the big guy get behind him. And the TD on the right side where the Furd guy was at least 5 yards behind our DB

FrmrG8r : Beat deep too often, along with far too many penalties.

Sacman701: Pressure was decent at times, but coverage was mostly awful. Furd's passing game is pretty weak, and we struggled to cover their receivers.

Mitchgobears: Not good and it doesn't help when you are also playing against the guys in stripes.

Skatethompson: Not much to comment about here. You knew Stanford was going to run the ball. You knew they were going to run the ball a lot. Of course, when DB's and safeties get used to continuous nature of defending against the run, the are susceptible to the deep ball - which proved costly today and took a lot of momentum away from Cal.

Wiata78: About as expected, though that first sack again got my hopes up unrealistically. I thought we'd have a shot at an interception at some point, but they were having so much success with the run, they didn't need to pass much.

Goldenlikethebears: I appreciate the effort. But It's like watching a comm major take an EECS course, with no syllabus, no books, and only a 2rd year to teach them, then wonder why they hell they got an F.

BrooklynBear: Well, they are who we thought they are. Lots of penalties and not locating the ball, but fierce. Hopefully all these reps for Hawkins, Drayden, and Davis make next year really competitive.

PRD74: We needed some experienced bodies out there. We did not have any.

CoBears: Looked solid at times, and porous other times. Of course, if you're porous at all, eventually it comes back to haunt you (for 6 each time, in fact). And that is what it did.

Broden_Duff: Ok I guess except for the lack of tackling.

Run Defense

Heyalumnigo: Nothing new to say about our run defense. They are what we think they are

NinjaNed : We're incredibly susceptible to cutbacks. It happened with Pumphrey, and it happened again with McCaffery. He's also incredibly slippery and stronger than I expected. He was individually better then every one of our defensive players and it showed.

FrmrG8r : Another week, another 300 yards rushing. McCaffrey made it look easy.

ABVidale: We had 25(?) players missing for this game, including 13 starters--most on the defensive side. I actually think they played well under the circumstances.

Wiata78: Our run defense can make anyone look like a Heisman candidate.

Goldenlikethebears: Christian McCaffrey had a 90 yard run.

CoBears: Big Game record. 90 yard touchdown run. Impossible to stop with this defense. Nothing more needs be said.

Special Teams

Heyalumnigo: Just the 1 missed FG

NinjaNed : We missed a kick but I'm willing to chalk that up to the rain and a bad place of the ball, but the punts we did take, and the kick offs were at least executed to how we wanted them to be.

FrmrG8r : Other than the missed FG, a really solid effort.

Sacman701: Webb had a couple of good pooch punts.

Mitchgobears: Worst kick offs ever.

Skatethompson: Watching us kick-off to the 30 yard line ever kick off - instead of over the end zone - is akin to a coach saying I do not trust that I have coached these kids well enough for them to stop the guy(s) returning the ball.

Also, once again the missed field goal took momentum and wind out of the sail. The kids were fighting in some pretty bad weather today, missed field goals are like knives to the back.

KMac: Kicking it out of bounds is better than giving up a return TD

Nor-Cal Scott: OK. What was up with the squib kickoff in the 1Q? Why did Wharton NOT fair catch a punt inside the twenty in the rain? Why does Matt keep missing FGs?

Wiata78: Execution was mostly OK. Choice of play usual.

PRD74: Mediocre. But, that was better than the rest of the team.

CoBears: The second kickoff gifted them a tying score. I get that we didn't want to kick off to McCaffrey, but seriously? Kick it out of bounds and they get to their 35. Why would we kick it further upfield than that? Pitiful.

Broden_Duff: They seem to be the constant bright spot on the team.


Heyalumnigo: Should've been more aggressive on 4th anywhere we are near midfield, especially in the 3rd and 4th

AlohaBear: I don't have a serious problem with most of Sonny's in game decisions in this one. We should have tried a few more 4th downs or onside kicks, but it wasn't going to change anything and the D did get one stop to keep us in it early in the 4th when I was wanting him to go for it.

I have a problem with Sonny only coaching/recruiting half a football team though. D matters. I have total confidence he can provide a strong offense in future years. I worry though that fielding even a mediocre defense is beyond him.

NinjaNed : Honestly I was getting ready to type if we won, that the only reason we won was because Shaw might be the most hard headed coach in the country when it comes to game plan. If we could stop the run, he'd still try to run it. But alas, we couldn't. But also I feel that all of our play calling lately have been completely focused on getting the first down. Like we'll run bubble screens, we'll run outside, and incase we're close, we'll run right up the gut, but it just seem like if miss out on one of those play with a bad pass or a drop, the play calling falls apart, cause we don't plan to get 6-9 yards a play.

beson : I'm insulted as a fan but feel worse for the players. Sonny has let everyone down.

FrmrG8r : Took McCaffrey out of the special teams game which was nice. Even keyed on him and kept him bottled up for awhile in the run game. Nevertheless, he still wins the game almost single handedly.

Sacman701: I thought our game plan was decent, we burned Furd a few times with screens. The pooch punts at least took the ball out of McCaffrey's hands.

Mitchgobears: Poor. Field goal attempt on fourth and short. Missed. The adjustments made at the half took us completely out of the game.

KMac: Coaches gave up. How do you not use your time outs in the fourth quarter?

How do you not go for it on 4th and 2 when you're the inferior team?

Goldenlikethebears: Sonny, I am disappointed in you.

PRD74: I really like Sonny Dykes (when he wins). When he loses, not so much. He needs to make all of his assistant coaches more accountable. The pathetic results are screaming that many people need to be replaced this off season.

CoBears: Disappointing. At least we kept it interesting for a half.

Broden_Duff: NEVER POOCH PUNT EVER AGAIN!!! That and a couple of other things but seriously, why not go for it on fourth and short against Furd? It's not like Furd has been sucky most of the season and yet have a winning streak against us. Against a major rival and while fans are questioning the coaching capabilities, why not go all out in every phase?

Overall Performance

Heyalumnigo: The D didn't look too bad in the 1st half

NinjaNed : I'm so frustrated that we can't beat Furd. This year, they weren't even that good. We're just pathetic. The worst part is that even with our terrible defense, our best players were still the seniors. So we're not even getting them back. There'd obviously a problem about our team that needs to be addressed if the institution wants there to be any enthusiasm at all. Cause honestly, as much as a die hard fan as I am, even I'm starting to get over it.

FrmrG8r : Outgunned again this week, although the guys hung tough for awhile. It will be good to get this season over with.

Sacman701: For the first time since Oregon, we looked like we belonged on the same field as the opponent. Of course, Furd is weaker than SC, Washington, or Wazzu so this is just another disappointing loss in a string of disappointing losses.

ABVidale: Sigh. It was what I thought would happen, not what I wanted to happen.

KMac: I set my bar very low and it was not met.

I would prefer a puppy as a HC over Sonny. It would be just as effective and we'd all get to see a puppy in a headset.

Nor-Cal Scott: Players: B, nice effort. Coaching: D, weak.. Fans: B, great showing in rain.

Beer & Nachos: Cal just doesn't have the players on the field. Give Sonny credit fro getting rid of some bad apples, changing the culture, and most of all making academics a priority. Nice effort, but his tenure needs to be cut short.

Goldenlikethebears: 6 years in a row and counting. Stanford leads 57-43-10. Still no roses for Cal. Go Bears.

BrooklynBear: I've realized that our defense has no exotic blitz packages. Nothing to confuse a newly starting QB. Nothing.

PRD74: The Cal Band won its battle over their furd counterparts by the biggest margin in the history of the Big Game. Football? No fumbles, amazing. The Cal fans (especially the students who stayed to the bitter end and senior citizens who risked catching pneumonia) are to be commended for their loyalty in the umbrella less environment they had to put up with. Bring on fucla!

CoBears: Are kids today even going to understand what the axe is? I hate waiting for next year. I want the axe!

Thanks for stopping by everybody. Hopefully we can get Sonny’s first win against a California opponent next week as our Golden Bears take on UCLA. Hope to see you back next week. And as always, go Bears!