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Pat Forde believes Sonny Dykes would consider leaving Cal for winless SMU

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He actually wrote this.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen"
"This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen"
Casey Sapio-USA TODAY Sports

Pat Forde (once of ESPN, now one of Yahoo's top college writers) has gotten especially grumpy this year. I'm not exactly sure why, but he's been high on the grumposphere this year. I guess this happens to every columnist that no longer gets to appear on TV and is reduced to second-tier status, but there you go. He's made so many bizarre statements, like taking a shot at a North Carolina player for missing media day for an exam because of the recent allegations against the program, only to have it blow back on his face when the player he insulted was an Academic All-American. He went on a multi-paragraph rant on Jameis Winston's dad trying to get onto the football field after the Louisville game (of all the things Jameis has done this season, THAT is what you go crazy about?).

Still, what he wrote in his Forde Yard Dash this week (get it? it's a pun on 40 yard dash, something Forde probably hasn't done in decades) tops the charts.

Dumb things get written in college football all the time. This is one of the dumbest I've seen in a long time.

SMU (3). The situation: Sensing the disaster that was unfolding around him, seventh-year coach June Jones abruptly resigned two games into what has been an 0-8 season. The Mustangs are lurching toward their fourth winless season in program history (not counting the years when the NCAA wouldn’t allow the school to win or lose, canceling the 1987 and ’88 seasons). Potential hire: The school has been known to take big swings in the hiring department, throwing a lot of money at Jones to get him to leave Hawaii in 2008 and at basketball coach Larry Brown to lure him out of retirement in 2012. The object this time around? It could be California coach Sonny Dykes (4), who is in the midst of authoring a major turnaround from 1-11 his first year at Cal to the brink of bowl eligibility at 5-4. Dykes is a Texan to the core, and he was just handed a more challenging set of academic recruiting parameters by Cal after the prestigious school was embarrassed by its APR score and graduation rates under Jeff Tedford. Still, it would take a lot to convince a guy to leave a power-five conference job for one on the outside, and Dykes’ buyout is at least $2.5 million after this season. He also should have a good team coming back in 2015. If Dykes did leave and the school wanted to maintain offensive continuity, creative iconoclast coordinator Tony Franklin could be an option.

So, let's summarize.

A national columnist who gets credentialed, gets to go to games and make regular TV and radio appearances, truly believes that Sonny Dykes would vacate a rising college football program on the verge of bowl eligibility and returning most of its players (including likely the number one returning quarterback in the Pac-12) to take over the helm of an AAC program that is likely to go 0-12 this season and hasn't hit double digits in over half its games (I believe #drop10 is their motto).

Let us refute.

Dykes is a Texan to the core

Yes, it is true. Dykes is from Texas. That clearly means that if you get a chance to coach anywhere in Texas, whether it be at UT-Austin or SMU or the Dillon Panthers, you have to take it. We all know its his dream job to take over what is essentially the Sacramento State of Texas, because it's actually in Texas while Sacramento State is not.

Oh wait, what's that?

I get the feeling that Forde has never had one meaningful conversation in his life with Dykes.

and he was just handed a more challenging set of academic recruiting parameters by Cal after the prestigious school was embarrassed by its APR score and graduation rates under Jeff Tedford.

This would make sense if Sonny came in and was handed those APR scores a few months after he arrived. Tedford was fired because of these APR rates. Dykes was brought in to ensure there was an immediate turnaround. He already knew what he was signing up for before he got here. He has done a good job finding players who fit into the system here. I doubt that will change in future years.  He will not leave Cal so he can go and rebuild another program.

Still, it would take a lot to convince a guy to leave a power-five conference job for one on the outside.

Uh, yeah. It would take a lot. Probably more than anyone could ever offered, since it's pretty much career suicide. Because I don't think it's ever happened without the coach in question being handed his walking papers.

Walking out on a Power 5 program in year 2 of a five contract to beat up on Tulsa and Tulane every year would ensure that you never get another major coaching offer ever again. Forde somehow thinks resurrecting the Pony Express so that they can make yearly Hawaii Bowl trips is a step up from coaching a rising program in one of the top two conferences in college football.

and Dykes’ buyout is at least $2.5 million after this season

Dykes would have to forego $2.5 million out of his own pocket if he decided to leave Cal, meaning the Mustangs would have to throw probably a $5 million yearly contract to make this even close to worth his while.  SMU somehow has the money to throw around 5 million dollar contracts, and they still can't win a damn football game. Sounds like a great pitch.

He also should have a good team coming back in 2015.

No shit Sherlock. You should have also added, "SMU might have a good team around the year 2017, at which point they might half-fill their stadium."

If Dykes did leave and the school wanted to maintain offensive continuity, creative iconoclast coordinator Tony Franklin could be an option.

Okay, the prospect of Mad Tony coaching a football team almost made this whole Forde spiel worth it. Unless that man is planning to hire "Pink Cloud" as his offensive coordinator, I'm fairly certain Franklin will not be a head coach at any point. But I'm glad that Forde could complete the cycle of his daydream to absolute fruition.

Anyway. That was stupid. Don't say stupid things Pat Forde.