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Who, What, Which, or How Are The Blue Hose? Let's talk Cal-Presbyterian Football!

Genuine visual evidence that Presbyterian is a football team that exists!  via <a href=""></a>
Genuine visual evidence that Presbyterian is a football team that exists! via

TwistNHook: What? Why? How? When? Which? Who?

All I have is questions. Anybody have answers? Anybody?

Avinash: Cal wins. Can we move on to the next roundtable and forget this game exists?

Solarise: Someone punch Twist in the face. Now!

OhioBear: With a Blue Hose!

NorCalNick: I'm sure we Cal fans all look forward to explaining to the rest of the country for the umpteenth time why Cal was forced to schedule this game, since that's likely to be a significantly bigger story than any details from the actual game.

LeonPowe: Maybe we can get our back-up QB some significant playing time here?

Kodiak: The best part of this game will be the conflagration of controversy that ensues in its wake. Our 2nd and 3rd stringers will play extensively and look like world-beaters. For the rest of the year, Cal fans everywhere will get to grouse about why Mike Manuel and Austin Hinder don't get more playing time.

TwistNHook: Finally, we'll see Keenan Allen play every position!

Berkelium97: This should be our first chance to see Bridgford log significant playing time. Maynard will probably finish out the first half, with Bridgford and Mansion each playing about one quarter in the second half. Hopefully we'll see Bridgford get 5-10 passing opportunities. We might even see Hinder on a few plays. The second half will be a glimpse into the future as the younger players get some reps.

TwistNHook: So, does anybody actually know anything about the Presbytarian football team????????

Kodiak: Okay, fine. You made me actually research Blue Hose. And my wife thinks I have some weird fetish. Thanks. Sorry, Juju, but their team is really, really bad. Their best player from last year (RB) graduated. They played three different QBs, and none if them did much to distinguish themselves. Although they have a DT on their league pre-season watch list, Brian Davis, they also gave up 320+ yards per game including 229 per game on the ground. And this is against inferior competition. Apparently, as long as you have vertebrae and limbs, you can rush for 100+ against them. If Ryan Wertenberger doesn't get into the game, we should bulldoze the SAHPC.

NorCalNick: I know that it's actually spelled Presbyterian, and that they have been a Division 1 program for just five years, where they compete in the Big South against such luminaries as Charleston Southern and Liberty. I know that they were bad last year, and not just relative to BCS subdivision talent, and that they were even worse the year before that. How bad? Zero wins bad.

Berkelium97: Well, they managed to win 2 games last year by defeating the mighty Davidson Wildcats and Gardner-Webb Runnin' Bulldogs. They didn't win any games in 2009, and they have not had a winning season since 2007.

Twist, Coach Tedford could line you and me up in the backfield and we'd still win this game by 4 TDs...this team is that bad.

TwistNHook: It's a good thing I've been doing P90X, then! Gotta get in shape!

OhioBear: Juju mad!!!

TwistNHook: Phil Steele has spoken about the Blue Hose:

Eight Presbyterian College football student-athletes have been named to Phil Steele's 2011 College Football Preview magazine Preseason All-Big South Team.

Blake Dowd (Columbia, S.C.) and Justin Bethel (Blythewood, S.C.) earned first team honors, while Michael Ruff (Whitmire, S.C.), Max Travis (Irmo, S.C.), Derren Evans (Lawrenceville, Ga.), Brian Davis (Charlotte, N.C.), CeeJay Harris (Long Beach, Calif.) and Patrick Morgano (Greenville, S.C.) garnered spots on the second team.

Dowd is an OLineman

Bethel is a Cornerback.

Ruff is a WR

Travis is a OLineman

Evans is a DE

Davis is a DLineman

Harris is a LB

Morgano is a Kicker

And they are the class of the Big South Conference! So, those are some players to keep an eye on.

Any score predictions???

atomsareenough: Cal, a lot, Presbyterian, a little, or hopefully none.

Berkelium97: I figure Cal will take 2 minutes to score on each possession (and they will score on every possession against this team). Presby, meanwhile, will go 3-and-out on every possession and run about a minute off the clock. Each pair of possessions eats up 3 minutes, giving us a total of 20 possessions for each team. 20 possessions and a TD on each Cal wins 140-0. Boom! Science'd!

LeonPowe: I see a flaw in your proof

Keenan Allen will be the holder for each XP, and will take off on runs for at least half of them, scoring 2 point conversions 10 times, so 150-0.

OhioBear: Presbyterian gets a big emotional lift when Cal fumbles the opening kickoff. leading to a Presbyterian field goal to go up 3-0. But then Cal takes over. Anthony Miller is open all day. Zach Maynard looks sharp. Isi Sofele shreds the Blue Hose defense on the ground. Cal wins 42-3.

Solarise: I'm eager to see the lethal combo of Austin Hinder to Jackson Bouza for TDs. Coach P gets a shutout 45-0.