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How Low Can You Go? Cal - UCLA Report Card 10.29.11

Many of you forgot what your mom used to say.  BTown85 remembered.  BTown85 can remind us right now:

BTown85 - If you can't say something nice....

Yes, many of you forgot to not say anything at all, no matter how nice your comments may be.  We had dozens and dozens and dozens of responses from you guys.  We really appreciate all the comments, whether they are negative or positive.  You especially had thoughts about pass offense and run defense.  Not unexpected.

Personally, I try to be reasonable in my criticisms.  I try not to be harsh, but it's tough after a game like Saturday's game.  I mean I don't want to be mean, but I'm not sure that all the players were giving 110%.  I feel bad saying that, like I'm just angrily lashing out.  But, seriously, it's that last 10% that really does it!  I hope I'm not off base here.  Hope I'm not rude, but I'm just gotta say that I think UCLA wanted it more.  I hope I don't turn people off with my extreme views and harsh rhetoric when I say that UCLA's passion bucket was just plain fuller.  Fuller!  I have so much self-loathing right now saying all of these things.  

Well, the team doesn't need me dragging through the mud with these cruel allegations.  Nobody cares what I think anyway.  Let's see what you guys thoughts!  Berkelium97 crunched the numbers, so we can see what your grades were.  See all that and your comments after the jump.  GO BEARS!


Average Score
Standard Deviation

Pass Offense

Rush Offense
Pass Defense
Rush Defense
Special Teams
Win likelihood vs WSU
.378 (-44.7%)

Berkelium97: We had a large number of submissions this week.  Boy, were you guys (and gals) mad!

Usually when we have a score as low as the pass offense score, there's a large standard deviation which indicates that there was a larger variation in scores.  Typically there are moderate scores to balance out the extremely low ones.  Not this time: there was no argument that the passing game was even worse than we could possibly have imagined.

There's really not a whole lot to say: nearly every phase of the game was abysmal.

Our confidence that we will beat the Cougs is plummeting.  It fell nearly 45%!  


We have a couple editor's choice awards this week:

Captain of the Belotti Bandwagon

This award goes to cjwethers, whose grade in every category was "HIRE MIKE BELOTTI!!!"


This award goes to royrules22, who gave the Bears an F in every category.  Ultimately, his ballot resembled something like "FFFFFFFF" (along with a 0 for chance of beating the Cougs).

Next we have the usual set of awards, the Old Blues and Tedford's Sunshine Pumpers.  In past years, I have deleted report cards that were all 0s, as they typically were not meant to be taken seriously.  Not this week: I kept them all and you all earn an award!

The Sunshine Pumpers were clearly so intoxicated during the game that they only remember the first quarter.


Tedford's Sunshine Pumpers
Net Score, Percentage
1. Cugel
3.92, 56.0%
2. heckyeah
3.85, 55.0%
3. Swamphunter
3.75, 53.6%
4. DrBeeper
3.70, 52.9%
5. Koalaballa
3.53, 50.4%
Old Blues Net Score, Percentage
1. SoCalOski
0.00, 0.0%
1. AERose 0.00, 0.0%
1. uclol
0.00, 0.0%
1. Coach Terdford
0.00, 0.0%
1. f
0.00, 0.0%
1. GC
0.00, 0.0%
1. mistergarth
0.00, 0.0%

1. UnhappyBlue

0.00, 0.0%











The Voice of Reason Total Deviation
1. sacman701
2. FromCtoShining(Blue)C
3. BTown85
4. 1988goldenbear .095
5. puresilence



Next up we have The Voice of Reason for those whose scores most accurately reflect the group scores.

FromCtoShining(Blue)C is becoming a regular in this award category.




Now let's hear your thoughts on Saturday's game.  Lots of sadness, lots of frustration.  Thankfully, we all know that feel, bro. Let's hug it out.



Gameday Experience

Redonkulous Bear - "This game was much like CharDee McDennis... The game of games.

These are the levels a team progresses through to win CharDee McDennis: 



Level 1
Mind: Trivia, puzzles and artistry.
Level 2
Body: Physical challenge, pain and endurance.
Level 3
Spirit: Emotional battery and public humiliation

Coach Terdford - We Cal Bears totally fucking suck ass!! That coaching (HA! HA!) was a total disgrace to the University. How much longer do we alums need to put up with a 3 million dollar coach putting out this kind of shit.

1988goldenbear - Beautiful day at the Rose Bowl for my first Cal game of the year! Beautiful start with the score after the fumble. All downhill after that. Walk of shame back to the car.

Oaklandish Bear - Flew down for my annual pilgrimage to see 1988goldenbear and cheer on the Bears. Great weather for what was supposed to be a great game. Had a nightmare that it was Sep. 17, 2010 and I was in Reno, only to realize I wasn't asleep. What a horror to see the same result on the field.

iVinishe - Projected the game in a classroom in Dwinelle. Thanks to PRD74 for the stream.

JerrotWillard45 - "I'll try to make you chuckle:

Watched the beginning, saw us go up on Prince's self-fumble. Felt hopeful (first sign of doom!) and even smug. Had guests for dinner, so taped it and enjoyed dinner.

At 9pm, went and started up DVR. First interception occurs. Feeling disconcerted. Fooled around with DVR and accidentally switched to live TV for one second. Was tuned to ABC's ""after the game"" and in the one second heard the words ""threw 4 interceptions to the UCLA defense"". Stabbed at remote to get away before I heard more.

You've got to be kidding me. There I am, in the first half, having only seen one INT, and I have to watch the rest of the game knowing that 3 more are coming. And wondering if there is some way we might have won in spite of that?

Tragically, as game unfolded, I realized there was less and less and time to squeeze 3 INTs in. Even knowing they were coming, and how many of them did not ease the pain.

Dazed and stunned, I watched the $C/Furd epic on fast forward. Felt happiness on Luck's INT which almost took away any NCG hopes, and then was re-crushed when they pulled it out in 3OT.

Good news: my boss, Furd fan, bet me $1 that Furd would beat $C by 3 touchdowns. I get $1 on Monday!

Bad news: he gets to rub my face in the fUCLA debacle. "

rising4air - Stayed home; saw this one coming...

crystallograbear - I spent a lovely morning in Boston with my girlfriend, eating brunch at the classy Thinking Cup cafe. Then around 6 pm it started snowing! I haven't been outside yet in the snow, because when it started snowing I was inside making pasta and pork chops for dinner. I forget what I did after dinner, but I'm sure it wasn't as good as that pasta.

CalJeff - Thank goodness for my DVR so I could skip through the end of the 4th quarter an ignore UCLA's last touchdown

calas - "I would give Anger an ""A"" and KA21 a ""B"". The rest of rest of the team a ""F-""!

How could we look so crappy to a TERRIBLE team! fucla beside being bad then looses SIX players and still kick or butts???

The D sucked with the O Line!!! Others also but I don't want to call out names on the Bears. You know who they are tho."

npyoung35 - Terrible. Turned it off after pick #4 and had the pleasure of watching my 'Furd-alum "friend" enjoy Unfrozen Caveman Quarterback's 4Q/OT charge. Barf.

superguy - While enjoying a sunny day at the Rose Bowl with Supergal and the Bears up 7-0, Mars Callaghan of WSOP 2011 and Pool Junkies fame bought the section a flat of lemonade! If only I could forget what was to come...

KoalaBalla - There was so many UCLA fans. In every direction. I hate them.

ososdeoro - Why go to LA when you can have 75 degree weather here?

beson - I should have known that is was going to be a bad day when we got a flat tire on the way to the game. Instead of getting to the official tailgate at 1:30, we got there at 3. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper. The game did not help.

goldblooded - i hate ucla

cjwethers - HIRE MIKE BELOTTI!!!




Pass Offense


Willis Chong - I long for the days of bad Riley. At least we won those games. And at least bad Riley missed everybody. Bad Maynard only misses our guys, and throws very accurate balls to the other team.

f - F

GB4188 - I would have liked to give a negative score, because it seems that Cal deciding to pass is more likely to benefit the opposition than the Bears.

NKicker - Does Maynard know that you shouldn't throw the ball 3 times to the same guy?! He vindicated himself against but he absolutely threw up all over himself in this game. He then ate that puke and puked all over himself again.

sacman701 - Maynard continues to have the same issues he's had all year. He locks onto receivers, throws ill-advised passes, and in frequently inaccurate. The first pick was a classic example, he locked onto Allen and threw a bad ball into coverage. I couldn't tell whether the second one was on him or Miller, as Miller never looked for the ball. The third was poorly thrown but it looked to me like it was mostly on Allen. The fourth was no big deal as it was in garbage time but still was an inaccurate throw.

CalJeff - Can someone remind Maynard that one some weekends, he DOESN'T throw it to the guys in blue shirts?

Crazedfan - Maynard cannot be allowed to continue to play. He single-handedly lost the game against USC and then lost this one. In these two games, he has been responsible for 9 turnovers. I never thought one player could have so much of an impact, positive or negative on any single game. This was an extremely winnable game and Maynard simply gave it away.

AuNBear - Maynard makes extremely poor decisions during critical times during the game. He doesn't learn from his mistakes. He continues to throw into double coverage. The interceptions thrown in the second half reminded me of those thrown by Ayoob and Longshore. These turnovers were truly demoralizing. Maynard should be given the starting job. Maynard should only be used as a sub for Bridgford when a change of pace is needed or if there is an injury. Maynard has had enough chances. We cannot afford to lose another game to a team with a losing record.

Unhappy Blue - Maynard lost the game for us. His 4 interceptions and fumbled hand-off killed us. We cannot afford to have Maynard lose another game. He has had good moments, but his turnovers killed any positives he may have achieved. Maynard needs to be benched. It is time to see what Bridgford can do. It can't be any worse than Maynard. Tedford usually benches running backs if they fumble. Maynard had his chances, it's time for a change. Bridgford deserves a chance.


cjwethers - HIRE MIKE BELOTTI!!!


Run Offense


achar2008 - "Sofele is good. So is CJA. It is worrying though that we can't pound the ball in 3rd and 1 type situations. This run offense would work well on a team with a semblance of a passing threat to more than one receiver.

Also, this offense has no identity. They clearly aren't a downhill power running offense (See short yardage issues) and they clearly don't have the game changing speed (which is why I feel JT wants Bigelow to run more). "

puresilence - Decent. Sofele shows good promise running to the edges.

JABear - Sofele had some nice runs, but yeah... If you can't tell I'm kind of speechless. There is not much insight to be had from this game.

PistolPreet - Isi looked good at time, but CJ and Brandon did not

storky - "I liked Isi's TD run in the first Q, and Maynard had a few nice runs. Maybe Maynard can become a backup runner when he's replaced. Ha, I kid, Tedford won't pull Maynard.

Also, what's with all the option runs to the short side of the field? I don't understand!"

IEastCoastBears - Will Sofele ever break a long one alas Best or Vereen? Why do our RBs keep running right into blockers so often?


Pass Defense


rising4air - Huh?

oskiwow - Limited Kevin Prince to under 100 yards, which is good. Part of those are more on UCLA's receivers than our pass defense though, also that Kevin Prince only needed to throw 18 times. Didn't think Marc Anthony did well enough to warrant all the taunting by him, mostly to Rosario.

f - F

the beer - Bridgford please

MPeters10 - The few times UCLA threw the ball, we made it easy for them. Sean Cattouse is terrible...he stands out as utterly useless on a team full of incompetent and useless players.

PistolPreet - No pressure on QB = No TOs

achar2008 - "Really should have been better seeing as UCLA had 3 wideouts total. I know that pass offense suffers when the pistol running game is working but come on.. I'd expect our corners to be able to work on islands on their ""WRs"".

Have fun when Marquess Wilson and Jared Karstatter come to town. "

beson - I don't remember. We were too busy getting gashed.

IEastCoastBears - The way our run defense is failing against the pistol, there is no much need for the pass defense.



Run Defense


1988goldenbear - Looked like Nevada all over again. Did we learn nothing from last year? Apparently so. Prince sure looked good, as did their RB's. Not sure why we didn't load the box, put a spy on Prince, and dared him to throw.

iVinishe - On at least 3/4 of the plays, I see 11 (Cattouse) go flying for a tackle...and miss. and Prince or Coleman or whomever goes off for another 15 yards. On other occasions, I'll see Cattouse fly in and make contact... and just fall off.


FromCToShining(Blue) - WTF?! Prince goes for 165 yards on the ground? We knew they were going to run and we still couldn't stop him. Seemed like there were an infinite number of missed tackles even when we did get to the ball carrier. There were a few stops for losses but overall, that was just a pathetic effort.

calas - Did we have any???

sycasey - HAY GUYZ, you think maybe PRINCE might keep it?!

texashaterforlife - "did not know Kendricks was suspeneded for a Qrtr, until he came in. That still does not explain the total disfunction against the pistol that I saw (especially with our recent experience). I expected the young OLBs to get tricked into crashing down to the RB, but where was the experienced ILBs tackling Prince? The first fumble by UCLA's QB was a fluke and should have been a big run. Worse yet, I saw a QB out juke an ILB and a safety for a big run. UCLA's O-Line was playing like they had nothing else to lose. Their attitude really showed on getting the intital push when they ran straight up the middle.
I've been told Cal opens next season at home against Nevada. Nevada will have a 2nd year QB and Cal will have new ILBs. I'm not so sure it is going to be the opening day experience I want it to be. I hope Cal can prove me wrong."


Special Teams


cjwethers - HIRE MIKE BELOTTI!!!

puresilence - Anger is great as always, but our punt return coverage is abysmal. Giorgio missing that fg doesn't help either.

hardtobeacalfan - anger had a couple of good punts but we had poor field position all day. and tavecchio seems to missed the FG at crucial moments. our return and coverage is consistently terrible.

mpeters10 - Did y'all notice that Tavecchio did his stupid high five on that kick he missed? And he wasn't even going to look back if not for the UCLA guy telling him he missed. What a moron.

storky - The missed FG was ultimately meaningless. The fumble recovery was nice off the punt muff. Special teams didn't lose nor win the game, so bleh, who cares?

fuzzywuzzy - Once again, the punter had the best performance (except Allen). 0-1 for field goals, we really needed those 3 extra points

bigdruid - "Brilliant move by the coaching staff to try to take their kicker out of the game early. Locke is really the heart and soul of their special teams squads, and our only chance to match up with them was to keep him on the sidelines. Unfortunately, as the announcers repeatedly pointed out, Locke's superhuman courage and tolerance for pain allowed him to channel his righteous anger into repeated kicks out of the endzone.

Which is all for the best, because I shudder to think what might have happened at the hands of this angry titan had we tried to actually return one of these kicks. I'm satisfied that we were able to escape the Rose Bowl without significant injury."

Californication - Bryan Anger was awesome. Tavecchio missed an important field goal. Our return game is really lacking.




Jacobs - "Fire Tedford and hire some random blogger from the Californiagoldenblogs. Here is my hypothesis: Tedford is worthless in coaching quarterbacks. Aaron Rodgers was potentially the best QB in college football(ever) and even Tedford could not hold him down.The last five years have been a study in QB's that get progressively worse as time goes by. Ok, so we cant afford to fire Tedford. Fine. Try to play a different QB every time so they dont get coached to pieces.

AuNBear - Tedford needs to realize that the season is on the brink. If he doesn't replace Maynard he will lose the team and the fan's support. The decisions he makes during the next week will be his most important during his tenure. He cannot afford another loss to a team with a losing record.

the beer - Bridgford please

ronp_sf - "Seriously disappointed. I spent the majority of my life somewhat neutral. Became a Cal football fan after getting my MBA at Haas. I don't like being a fan. I used to enjoy critiquing the game somewhat dispassionately. Now, I care and it sucks. It sucks, because I am not going to sit here and fault the kids. I am going to fault the coaches for not preparing the kids. That's what happened and has happened way too much lately.
Coach Tedford, you may not like to view us alums as part of your football family. But, we are part of the Cal football family. You are not only letting us extended members down, but you are letting down the kids on the team. You are not putting together the effort that put them in the best position to succeed. It is disappointing. Please seek help on breaking out of your rut. You are in a deep one."

Oski4Heisman - I got $100 on Tedford's buyout.

Crazedfan - Jeff Tedford was outcoached by Rick Neuheisel. Simply depressing.

JABear - Tedford needs to take a long look in the mirror and get his shit together. Is he just out of touch with his players or something? You can blame Maynard for us losing this game, I'll buy that. But there was pretty poor execution across the board. I didn't see a lot of adjustments; UCLA stuck with their bread and butter and ran it down our throats. I'm no football expert, but did Tedford just get outcoached by Neuheisel?!

Swamphunter - Remember George Cortez? He was the OC and QB coach from 2002 to 2006.

He haven't had consistent success since 2006.

We need him back if we wanna be that successful again. He's with the Buffalo Bills last I checked. Pony up cash to get him back, fire whoever the fuck our current QB coach is, move Coach M to O-line because he has to fix that shit with all of his effort behind it."

UncleSam22 - I've held off on piling on Tedford but this game makes it clear that he's taken Cal as far as he can. I am so appreciative for what he's done for the program, but clearly this team cannot focus, is not tough, and has no identity. There is no fire in them and that rests on Tedford. Give him one more season in the SAHPC and then send him off as the all-time leader in wins. The time has come and it's clear he is not getting it done.

NKicker - Did the coaches even coach during the week? Tedford's seat just got hotter. At this point I wouldn't care if Coach P went back to the NFL. Embarrassing, simply an embarrassing game.

rising4air - Remember Jim Mora screeching, "Playoffs? Playoffs?"

ResBear - *incoherent*

Truman Hugh - "I have always backed Tedford, especially since this downward began in October 2007, but this game has me seriously wondering if it isn't time to make a change. I am a third generation Golden Bear; we've had season tickets longer than I've been alive. I know Cal's history--and I know what Tedford has done for this program--and it sickens me to think this way. We are mired in mediocrity and I'm beginning to question if Tedford has the ability to lead us out of it.

If we can't beat the depleted train wreck of team that is UCLA--with a coach who is as equally myopic as Tedford when it comes to coaching the talent around him--where are we?"

PistolPreet - One of JTs worst games (and there was many from which I could choose to determine where this one ranks)




the beer - Bridgford please

rollonubears111 - "bleh. Tedford needs to leave soon. Sorry, but I don't buy the ""rebuilding year"" when we have so many good recruits. What happened to Mansion in the recent past? What happened to Sweeney? Who are we developing at QB? Why didn't Tedford pull Maynard out after the 3rd INT? Why can't we stop the pistol? It's coaching, it's preparing your team to win.

NKicker - Cal should be forced to refund any fan who went to that "game."

crystallograbear - "The coaches are paid, and therefore, as fans and as alumni of the University, we have a right to see a better performance than this.

The players are not paid, and so I won't complain too much. I think the coaches should be fired and the players should be paid. But after a performance like this, we shouldn't be paying these guys much. Except maybe KA."

HeyAlumniGo - FAIL

Willis Chong - "We can't pass, we can barely run. Our defense seems to regress whenever some good happens the previous week. With this performance, we would be lucky to be 5-7. There's every chance we'll be 4-8 this year. Tedford's going to have a lot of explaining to do to the alumni.

Now excuse me as I drink myself to insensitivity."

uclol - im usually fairly optimistic but this game was TEH SUCK! watching it live at the rose bowl made it doubly depressing - im at a loss for wordsw

ResBear - *incoherent*

Koalaballa - "If our team had a power running game it would be easier on the QB - I don't think there are very many quarterbacks who can just throw throw throw for four quarters and keep going the length of the field all day - the defense is just going to get wise on you. When Maynard kept the ball on the option and ran it up the side of the field, and then Isi also ran it up the side of the field in the 2nd half, it really was obvious that the defense was surprised by that playcall. Unfortunately when we turned the ball over a lot we stopped running those plays. It seems like when Cal is down, the playcalling changes to a point where we are forced to play catch up ball, and our catch up ball play is less efficient than our normal game play.

Cal is just one of those teams that plays well ahead, and terrible from behind. It feels like its the playcalling, but there's probably some youthful element to that too. But if you're calling plays that your players can't execute, then either your players have to learn how to execute better or you just call simpler plays more often.

An armchair approach, but something I think needs to be said."

SoCalOski - "Midway through the first quarter, a trigger was tripped, and I no longer have any emotion regarding this team. I'll probably watch the remaining games, but in the same way I'd watch tv when my wife has her stories on. With considerable disinterest and only the mildest curiosity, being distracted by almost anything.

This was the most completely embarassing, humiliating, revolting loss of Tedford's career, and I honestly am not at all open to hearing any reasons, excuses, or explanations about how it happened. I'm numb and done with this season. I don't care if we win the rest of the games or lose them. There is simply nothing left."

Unhappy Blue - Tedford is losing his staunchest supporters. If Bridgford doesn't start the next game, I will not attend another game until there is a head-coaching change.

mister garth - Embarassing. Pathetic.

superguy - In 12 years of watching the Bears and as many roadtrips to support them in LA, this was the first time I've felt like I may have wasted my time in attending the game =( I know it's an issue of expectations, but I didn't feel this deflated even after the carnage of U$C 2010.