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Big Game Report Card

Well, then.  We finally determined the real problem with the Cal football team.  Now, it's not a lack of execution or poor schemes, it's reader handle of vodka!

handleofvodka - GUYS GUYS GUYS. It's my fault. I thought it would be different this time. I have watched 4 games at my buddy's (a fellow Cal alum's) house. Those four games were Nevada, Arizona, USC and Stanfurd. I thought it would be different today!!!! I didn't watch the OSU game at my buddy's house because of the bad luck streak and we still lost. SO I assumed it had nothing to do with it. The football gods were merely toying with me. I WAS SO WRONG. I left my buddy's house at the beginning of the fourth quarter and we score two touchdowns?!?!?!?!??! THEY GAVE ME SOME HOPE WITH THE CLOSE GAME AGAINST THE DUCKS AND THEN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.


Why would you do this to us, handleofvodka?  Why??? WHY?  What did we ever do to you???

After the jump, more numbers, more comments, and more GOING BEARS!


Mean Score
Standard Deviation

Pass Offense

Rush Offense
Pass Defense
Rush Defense
Special Teams
Win likelihood vs Stanford
.467 (-.202)

Berkelium97:  These are some of the worst numbers of the year.  Bryan Anger was the lone bright spot in Saturday's miserable loss.

Predictions of a win over Washington have dropped 20% since August.  Have we finally run out of sunshine to pump?






Our first and only editor's choice award is the "needs a hug" award which goes to atomsareenough, nativeson, and duck u for their report cards which were a combination of profanities, unhappy faces, and general super criticism.

Our next two awards are the usual ones you have all come to know and love.  First we have the Super Critics, whose report cards had the lowest total scores, and Tedford's Sunshine Pumpers, whose report cards had the highest total scores.


Tedford's Sunshine Pumpers
Net Score, Percentage
1. BTown85
3.10, 44.3%
2. 1988goldenbear
3.00, 42.9%
3. Willis Chong
2.75, 39.3%
4. ACgiant97
2.70, 38.6%
5. harmonpreservationsociety
2.50, 35.7%
Super Critics
Net Score, Percentage
1. LEastCoastBears
0.00, 0.0%
2. alpha1906 0.06, 0.9%
3. 4ever Golden
0.30, 4.3%
4. ososdeoro
0.90, 12.9%

5. SoCal Oski

1.00, 14.3%








CGB HIVEMIND Overall Deviation
1. hardtobeacalfan
3. kidnebraska
4. cantbearit .098
5. JohnnyCalifornia


Finally we have CGB HIVEMIND for those whose scores most accurately reflect the group scores.  hardtobeacalfan most accurately represents our opinions once again (is that the second or third time this year?).  It truly is hard to be a Cal fan this year.




Let's hear about how Saturday was for y'all (I'm predicting that it was bad):


Gameday Experience



SoCalOski - It started great the night before watching the band march up Durant in the rain. That was pretty hella epic, actually. Then Sat began with breakfast and some cocktails at Henry's at 8AM with a couple other Old Blues. While there to enjoy a pre-pregame we met a couple of old furds (or whatever the hell those guys call themselves), and try as hard as we could to hate them, we couldn't. They were actually (gasp) nice, knowledgable, gracious, and pleasant. Perhaps it was the fact that they knew there was no way they would lose.

The storms at night were also epic. As a way of explaining the downpour my wife turned to me and said, "Stanfurd winning makes God mad."

JohnnyCalifornia - I'm in the young alumni section QQ. All I can say is I'm disappointed. Everyone but four people within six rows of me sold their tickets. Mostly to people who never made noise for the defense and booed the offense. Worst crowd ever! All of you who sold your tickets should damn ashamed of yourselves. You lost this game. Don't buy QQ season tickets if you're not going to show on the Big Game.

LEastCoastBears - At a joint Cal-'Furd viewing, heard "All Right Now" way too many times...maybe it was a slight blessing that some drunk 'Furd girl was screaming so loudly and repeatedly near me that I may have lost some hearing.

hardtobeacalfan - when i heard that the players jawing at each other before the game, i thought this was going to be a hard fought struggle, but we just rolled over. i really really hope luck and harbaugh leave for the nfl.

handleofvodka - Did you see those Furd kids as they watched the game? No joy in their cheering. Just dead eyes. Eyes that have watched a million souls wiped out in a single second, eyes that stand by as great empires fall, ravaged by the dark barbarian forces that circle the land. Weep not for the fans, nor the players, nor the coaches. Instead, weep for the Axe - who now has to be returned to the cold, unfeeling arms of a lover who truly does not understand its worth, does not love it or caress it or whisper sweetly into its ear. give them the axe, the axe, the axe...

coolingfan - Personally, this was the worst Big Game I've ever watched.

Sacman701 - At least Liverpool won.

DTopps - Weather couldn't make up its mind. The student section seemed generally aloof. Mic men need to be beaten: they weren't into the game until it was well out of reach. Also, after the first drive a large group a few rows up were cursing Kevin Riley. Disgraceful.

JO @ UCSD - Wasn't on tv, I hoped Versus would pick it up or FSW. FSW had some crap about high school players on TV. Is that really better than the Big Game? I was really disappointed that I had to stream this.

grinandbearit - I watched part of the Big Game, and then I went to watch that movie Unstoppable with Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. In other words, I watched a train wreck followed by a near train wreck.

ososdeoro - Look at it this way, Avi. If the lads aren't going to try, why should I (btw, the stadium was louder than the team deserved for much of the game)? When they finally scored, it was clear there was finally some effort there, and I'm glad, but I left after that anyway. Because out there in the world, there was a restaurant willing to put in the effort to give me a great meal, and family who didn't go to the game, who puts in a great effort to be one.

WillisChong - Loud for the first 2 minutes of the game. Two fumbles later, the crowd tries to rally. One INT later, we're pretty much dead.

One funny moment: The Zip Realty "Taking it to the House TD" on the screen showed nothing, since we hadn't scored at that point. It was funny, but in a really depressing way.

We did celebrate like drunken sailors when KA threw that TD pass, though. I texted "Moral victory!" when that happened. Other than that, the second TD, and Anger's beautiful punts, there was little celebration at Memorial Stadium from the Cal fans. I should add that this is first game I have seen at Memorial Stadium that we got completely blown out. I thought it feels bad when I watch it on TV. It felt WAY WORSE in person.

BTW, mic guys are still starting chants when OUR OFFENSE ARE IN THE HUDDLE! And why did we only do the student-alum staggered "Go... Bears!" only once this game? After we fire Ludwig, Marshall, and Daft, let's fire the mic guys too.


Pass Offense



ososdeoro  - On Saturday it seemed like a miracle if a pass ever came to pass. First there was that hard part about getting the snap from center. Then that hard part about managing to stay still
until the ball was snapped and/or managing to stay lined up in the right place. Then there's the part about managing to block the defenders. On the remaining 5% of the pass plays, I'd say the pass offense was mediocre to poor. Oh well, at least it's early in the season and we can get these problems ironed out. Doh!


ACGiant97 - Keenan Allen should be our starter vs Washington

LEastCoastBears - It feels like that Mansion was throwing more to the 'Furd D than our guys, when you eliminates all the uncatchable throws. Kenan Allen for QB? The fumbled snaps early was inexcusable, for a team that plays at home.

4evergolden - keenan allen

alpha1906 - If Brock Mansion had drank a six pack of 4Loko, he would have been more accurate than he was today sober.

VandyImport - Mansion is what he is. Maybe this is as good as he gets. Maybe getting him more reps before Wazzu wouldn't have made a difference. We'll never know. I have no idea what to expect next year.

coolingfan - Unlike what other people say, I don't like Brock Mansion. Okay, he has a good arm, but that's about it. He overthrows, underthrows, locks on the first read and never looks around (there was a safety blitz that took some time to develop and he never noticed), not to mention 2 fumbles out of 3 first snaps... His honeymoon won't last longer -- even for a backup QB, this was a really bad game.

Sacman701 - With Riley, it was usually good enough to keep defenses honest but not good enough to win games on its own. With Mansion, it's nonfunctional. Either he needs to get better, or one of the other backups needs to step up.

1988goldenbear - Mansion looked like a rookie today - fumbles, INT's, couldn't get past his first read, missed some open receivers, no touch. He did make a few nice throws and the receivers as a whole caught what they should have caught. Pass blocking was pretty decent all game. Penalties hurt.





Run Offense



Willis Chong - I'm impressed that Vereen got as many yards as he did.

For some reason, Brock decided to throw a lot when he had a ton of running space in front of him. I think Ludwig or Tedford told him to tone it down, even if it was a successful strategy at Wazzu.

VandyImport - At least they made some effort to involve KA. I can't see Vereen coming back and I'm not sure what we have in future. I don't think Sofele is an every-down back in the Pac-12. But when all you have is a running attack, you can rush three and keep 8 guys in space to stop the run.

LEastCoastBears - We got the most of our yards on the slightly gimmicky plays - the double reverses, etc. At least we didn't lose any fumbles via the run.

Boomtho - Shane is Shane is Shane. So that's good. But the line, after getting good push initially, was unable to sustain. And that's bad. Still, with zero support from the passing game, it's tough to get a run game going.


SwampHunter - I just want the season to hurry up and end so we can finally hang Marshall from a really freaking tall tree.

1988goldenbear  - Hard to run when they rush 3 and put 9 in the box. Vereen looked pretty good, Isi looked fast. The trick plays were nice to see, and effective as well. Looks like we need to get the ball in KA's hands as much as possible.



Pass Defense



1988goldenbear - Shredded by Luck, but it seems like he is rather exceptional. Decent coverage on some of the completions, just couldn't break the pass up. No rush. I don't know if we even laid a hand on him with the exception of the time he bounced off Cattouse - we will see that run on replay ad infinitum

CaliforniaPete - Looked prepared to compete, until that big run by Luck. Then just like the USC and OSU games--and Keyser Soze--poof, they're gone.

Sacman701 - Pathetic. No pressure whatsoever on Luck even when we blitzed. Coverage usually soft and ineffective.

hardtobeacalfan - we were really hurting without hagan and anthony. i'm not convinced nnabuife is any good in coverage. williams is better in coverage, but he gets run over more than our bigger corners. it doesn't help that we got no pass rush and luck has wonderful precision passes and his receivers made excellent grabs.

kidnebraska - residual injuries from chip kelly's dirty wrecking crew left us ripe for the picking. what's that? andrew luck is the best quarterback in college football? 11.2 yards per pass??! aieee!

boomtho - I feel bad for the CB's. Clancy was sending a lot of people (which the 'Furd line very easily picked up), so the CB's were alone in coverage a lot (sometimes even safeties on receivers). It's tough to cover on receivers with no pass rush to rattle the QB. Still, you have to fault the CB's for the early pass interference penalties, the leaping touchdown, the 2-on-1 catch...rough day



Run Defense



VandyImport - I know it's not rational, but I can't help thinking that if Luck could have been prevented from a 60 yard scramble, things might not have unravelled this way. At the very least, Sean Cattouse needs to realize that you have to wrap up to tackle, not go for some sort of shoulder-knockdown crap.


DTopps -  They ran plays with no receiving corps and still ran for 6+ yards.


kidnebraska - didn't we learn this lesson against u$c? i'm already sick of watching that clip of andrew luck stealing cattouse's lunch money.

LEastCoastBears  - Ok to start the game but really got tired later. Nevertheless, they made that Luck play looks way too good.

Way to stop 'Furd on that last play of the day...still not sure why they didn't just take a knee.

Spazzy McGee - We all laughed when Harbaugh recruited all those highly ranked TE's, but I'm not laughing now after Taylor scored all those walk-in touchdowns with the edge sealed off like a ziploc.




Special Teams



handleofvodka - My buddy has a washing machine so part of why I watched the game there was to do laundry AND watch CAL FOOTBALL. I know now that the trade off between clean underwear and a CAL defeat is not WORTH IT. Every time I put on clean underwear I'm going to think of this loss, and soil myself. Oh great football GODS HEAR MY PLEA AND SEE THE SACRIFICE TO YOU I HAVE MADE IN MY PANTS.



JO @ UCSD - Best part of the team today... Not that that's saying much. Anger was booming punts all afternoon but the one return they had was for 30-something yards but despite the poor coverage it was better than the offense or defense


fuzzywuzzy - Punted well; kicked-off poorly; punt coverage average......Same shit, different day

ososdeoro - They only had one really monumental fuckup yesterday: failing to cover the Stanfurd punt returner who caught the ball over his head running backwards to the five yard line. Congratulations, Genyk.





coolingfan - The penalties took away all the momentum. It gave Furd a lot of second chances and erased a few first downs. It looked as if Cal was playing on the road -- they seem nervous and scared. This is not the first time we've seen this. Major coaching FAIL.

1988goldenbear - The Furd was way more disciplined than we were. They ran their scheme to great effect and we pretty much had no answer. I don't fault our offensive gameplan much, because we drove the ball with some success but shot ourselves in the foot with penalties or turnovers. Our defense was as bad today as it was against 'SC - guess we don't match up well against pro-style offenses with a capable QB.

DTopps - I'm convinced Mansion did not even practice this week. Two fumbled snaps on the opening drive of the game? Yuck. I feel bad for Ludwig, I actually enjoy his mix of plays. I blame poor execution.

hardtobecalfan - i really thought we would be more competitive than this. it's gotta be a coaching problem when blowouts are becoming the norm. we swing from blowout wins to blowout losses way too easily. it's not always on the coaches when players make mistakes like overthrown passes, but things like illegal motion penalties and undisciplined play are on the coaches.

harmonpreservationsociety - more plays for KEENAN ALLEN

boomtho - Sigh. I like Tedford. But something is systematically wrong with our offense. We consistently make it look harder than it needs to be. I think we need to make an OC and an OL coach change. The guys were clearly amped up, so that's good

grinandbearit-  There should be enough information now from the number of beatdowns we've received in the last two years for Tedford to partially figure out what's wrong with our team.







kidnebraska - disappointing, but not at all surprising if you watched the u$c game. 9 penalties for 95 yards is inexcusable. any time we got any momentum up, we promptly shot ourselves in the foot with a stupid penalty.

Sacman701 - Disgraceful. They came out talking all kinds of crap, and then (again!) folded once the other team jumped out to an early lead.

It seems to be a mental thing with this team. They can stay focused as long as they aren't behind by more than one score, but they seem totally incapable of handling adversity.

CaliforniaPete - Not what I hoped, but more or less what I expected. Mansion needed to be flawless for the Bears to have a chance. He wasn't, and they didn't.

yg - All tree bark and no bite.

alpha1906 - Things that failed less than Cal in the Big Game: The Yugo, the Magic Hour (Magic Johnson's talk show), Sarah Palin filling out her Mensa application, Christine O'Donnell, Washington State last week, the US housing market, the Edsel, New Coke, France during World War II, MySpace versus Facebook...

bearbacker - Can someone find out what happened to the Cal team? It did not seem like they showed up for this game.

fuzzywuzzy -Quick, get your piece of the stadium for posterity's sake, but use a doggy bag to collect a peice of the turf, because it's covered with Bear poop