Here is the first set of CGB Meme Invitational Second Round Brock Mansion Party Yacht Regional Action. Read the information behind the fold and then vote in the polls. Here is the bracket, so you can follow along.
Here is the 1 v. 8 matchup. Brock Mansion Party Yacht (1) versus Marshawnthusiasts Loving Longshore (8). Nobody loves me more than I do, but still we don't stand a chance!
The Party Yacht had a bye into this matchup. We beat Olsonist/CaliSeth loving Riley in yet another boring battle of Riley v. Longshore.
Party Yatch (1)
On the left side of the main page, there is a little area for a tagline of sorts. I originally wrote something like about crafting the statue of Longshore. This worked because a)people seemed to think we were irrationally infatuated with him and it owned the criticism and b)he isn't very mobile. Then, Riley became QB (briefly), so we changed it to "the Hall Of Riley." So, I started to think about doing it for other QBs. Like Beau Sweeney's Cajun-Style Family Fun Foodeatery! And for Brock Mansion, I selected a line about him having a party yacht. This is the earliest ref I can find of it.
It blew up from there. It even got it's own theme song:
It was a fairly simple joke that just exploded. So, think about that next time you sit near the Statue of Longshore while eating at the Beau Sweeney's Cajun-Style Family Fun Foodeatery in the Hall of Riley on the Brock Mansion Party Yacht. PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marshawnthusiasts Loving Longshore (9) via HydroTech
It all started in 2007. Cal lost to Oregon State. Then to UCLA. Then to Arizona State. Then Cal only beat Washington State by 3 points which might as well count as a failure and a loss too. Then Cal lost to USC. Then to Washington. Then to Stanfurd.
Who was to blame for this epic fall from #2?
The easy target was Longshore. He holds the ball. Everyone watches the guy with the ball. So when the guy with the ball throws an INT, everyone blames him. But what about the WRs? They sometimes mis-read the coverage or run the wrong route. But what about the OL? Sometimes they wiff on blocks.
HydroTech tried to demonstrate that the guy who throws the INT, isn't always quite 100% at fault. HydroTech suggested that other players on the field were making errors too, but those errors were less noticable because most fans don't watch players away from the ball. Some Cal fans bought this ridiculous explanation hook line and sinker. Others, most notably, Olsonist and CaliSeth saw through the smoke screen. Despite HydroTech saying that Longshore was a nice guy and always smelled nice, Olsonist and CaliSeth said he tortured flies by plucking off their wings, and that Longshore reeked of alcohol. Things escalated and got personal. HydroTech said Longshore was a hard worker. Olsonist and CaliSeth said HydroTech's gatorade mixing skills sucked.
Pretty soon Cal fans were on to HydroTech and the rest of the Marshawnthusiasts. It was SOOOOOOOOO obvious that HydroTech was either Longshore's wife, a friend or relative of Longshore, or.... Longshore had pictures of HydroTech naked and was blackmailing Hydro.
The Cal fans would ask, "Hydro, why are you always defending Longshore? Are you related to him?" Or "Hydro, why do you want to cup Longshore's balls?"
Everyone knows that the real answer is because the Marshawnthusiasts love Longshore very much and are all like totally BFFs with him!~ <3
Perhaps the Marshawnthusiasts should really be calling themselves the Longshorites or the Longshorethusiasts.
Here is the 4 v. 12 matchup. Twist evicting old ladies (4) versus The Maharg (12). Me v. Maharg. 100% chance of awkwardness!
Last round I beat back 33SwisherSweet and his delightful dickishness. The Maharg upset Rishi and his friends-loving ways. Thank god, because I do hate me some friends!
(4) Twist Evicts Grandmothers.
This originaly stemmed from the 2008 Cal Coaches Tour. Coach Montgomery and Coach Tedford met people at the Back40 Grill in Pleasant Hill, CA for food and a Q+A. All of CGB West went there. Afterwards, CBKWit and TwistNHook approached Coach Tedford for a photo and chatted for a second. The rest is history. Awkward, awkward history:
But in the few opportunities I've had to speak to him personally, he always seems so relaxed. Last time at the Cal FanFest he laughed when I told him how I spent the Holmoe years continuously in the fetal position.
This time I managed to get him to mock me to my face. Truly a crowning achievement. After the event, CBKWit and I went up to snap a photo with him. The people in front of us seemed all rich and powerful with their suits and male pattern baldness. Being young and poor and be-haired, I had the following exchange with Tedford (CBKWit's portion of the transcript has been redacted due to irrelevancy):
TwistNHook: "Sorry, coach, we haven't met you before because we aren't rich and powerful."
Tedford: "Why aren't you guys rich and powerful."
TwistNHook: "We're just out of college."
Tedford: "Oh. What are you guys up to?"
TwistNHook: "I'm an attorney. (AND THIS IS WHERE IT GETS MODERATELY INSANE!) I just tried to evict two people this morning."
Tedford: "Were they tree-sitters??"
TwistNHook: "No, one was a grandmother.....and the other was also a grandmother." (True story!.....kind of)
Tedford: "Wow! What a guy" (BUT SARCASTICALLY!!! HE WAS BEING SARCASTIC!)
TwistNHook: "Yeah, I'm kind of an asshole." /slinks awayOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMS
OMS TEDFORD MOCKED ME!!!! THAT WAS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't
know why I started rambling about my work. I looked Tedford in the eyes, I felt starstruck. This is what it must be to stand next to the Pope!
So, after that, my awkward conversation created the meme that I was an evil troll expanding my empire by evicting grandmothers from their hard-earned houses. Which, bee tee dubz, is completely true. Completely.
The Maharg (12)
C'mon. It's The Maharg. F'realz yo. F'realz.