Woo, wee! They always say, may you live during interesting times. I can not, personally, think of any time more amazing than this. Iran in turmoil. Historic president. And the CGB Meme Invitational Sweet 16! UNBELIEVABLE! Here is the bracket. Now, we have the man, the mystery, the legend, and his Party Yacht: The Brock Mansion Party Yacht (1) v. Twist Evicts Grandmothers (4).
Party Yacht got a bye to the second round wherein it crushed Marshawnthusiasts love Longshore. Mansion taking down Longshore? And now taking on me, it just gets tougher and tougher for the Party Yacht.
Party Yatch (1)
On the left side of the main page, there is a little area for a tagline of sorts. I originally wrote something like about crafting the statue of Longshore. This worked because a)people seemed to think we were irrationally infatuated with him and it owned the criticism and b)he isn't very mobile. Then, Riley became QB (briefly), so we changed it to "the Hall Of Riley." So, I started to think about doing it for other QBs. Like Beau Sweeney's Cajun-Style Family Fun Foodeatery! And for Brock Mansion, I selected a line about him having a party yacht. This is the earliest ref I can find of it.
It blew up from there. It even got it's own theme song:
It was a fairly simple joke that just exploded. So, think about that next time you sit near the Statue of Longshore while eating at the Beau Sweeney's Cajun-Style Family Fun Foodeatery in the Hall of Riley on the Brock Mansion Party Yacht. PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last round I beat back 33SwisherSweet and his delightful dickishness.Then, I took out The Maharg (link is the same link as the Party Yacht one above). I've beaten two fake online personalities, now can I take on a real life human being? Answer: No.
(4) Twist Evicts Grandmothers.
This originaly stemmed from the 2008 Cal Coaches Tour. Coach Montgomery and Coach Tedford met people at the Back40 Grill in Pleasant Hill, CA for food and a Q+A. All of CGB West went there. Afterwards, CBKWit and TwistNHook approached Coach Tedford for a photo and chatted for a second. The rest is history. Awkward, awkward history:
But in the few opportunities I've had to speak to him personally, he always seems so relaxed. Last time at the Cal FanFest he laughed when I told him how I spent the Holmoe years continuously in the fetal position.
This time I managed to get him to mock me to my face. Truly a crowning achievement. After the event, CBKWit and I went up to snap a photo with him. The people in front of us seemed all rich and powerful with their suits and male pattern baldness. Being young and poor and be-haired, I had the following exchange with Tedford (CBKWit's portion of the transcript has been redacted due to irrelevancy):
TwistNHook: "Sorry, coach, we haven't met you before because we aren't rich and powerful."
Tedford: "Why aren't you guys rich and powerful."
TwistNHook: "We're just out of college."
Tedford: "Oh. What are you guys up to?"
TwistNHook: "I'm an attorney. (AND THIS IS WHERE IT GETS MODERATELY INSANE!) I just tried to evict two people this morning."
Tedford: "Were they tree-sitters??"
TwistNHook: "No, one was a grandmother.....and the other was also a grandmother." (True story!.....kind of)
Tedford: "Wow! What a guy" (BUT SARCASTICALLY!!! HE WAS BEING SARCASTIC!)
TwistNHook: "Yeah, I'm kind of an asshole." /slinks awayOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMSOMS
OMS TEDFORD MOCKED ME!!!! THAT WAS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't
know why I started rambling about my work. I looked Tedford in the eyes, I felt starstruck. This is what it must be to stand next to the Pope!
So, after that, my awkward conversation created the meme that I was an evil troll expanding my empire by evicting grandmothers from their hard-earned houses. Which, bee tee dubz, is completely true. Completely.