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CGB Meme Invitational - Second Round Bak Bak Regional Action

Here is some second round Bak Bak regional action.  Read the information behind the fold and the vote in the polls.  Here is the bracket, so you can see the Sweet 16 as it develops. 

First up, we have the 5 v.13 matchup.  Stegosaurus v. TuckNJersey.  This was one we didn't expect to see.  Most people thought Beastmode Chunging Patrick Chung would easily defeat TuckNJersey.  But people's love for horiffic outfits led to TuckNJersey scoring the HUGE upset! 


Stegosaurus was expected to be here, though.  He's an all-time meme and took on the oddly misspelled meme "Hattin'"  Ya, Hattin' is good, but not Stegosaurus good (a sentence nobody ever expected to make sense until now).  Stego exctintioned Hattin' and quick. 

So, who is it going to be?  Can Stego continue his march or will TuckNJersey be as powerfully Tucked and Jerseyed as ever!

Stegosaurus (5)

At one time during Oregon's 2008 football season, they were having UCLA level problems with QB injuries.  They were on their 84th string QB.  And so I wrote this DBD:


Enjoy this special, limited time offer to play QB for Oregon

Yes, you too can play QB for Oregon!  Didn't think you had physical aptitude or the stomach for mind-crunching hits?  Didn't think you could memorize their complicated playbook?  Well, worry no longer!

Just fill out this easy questionnaire to see if you fit the bill:

1.  Are you currently able to walk?

2.  On a scale from 1-10, how much do you enjoy walking?

3.  How good do you look in what appears to a jersey dipped randomly in green and yellow paint?

4.  What condititon would you say your ACL is in?

I think I could play Oregon QB.  Thanks to my Oakland As love, I have a lot of green and gold colored clothes.  My ACL has yet to burst.  And, honestly, I'm not that enamored over walking.  I mean it's OK.  I guess.

Put me in coach!

Seriously, though, they are on their 48th string QB.  Insane props to them for having a 48th string QB.  I think our 48th string QB is Karl Dorrell in a mustache.  Actually, I'm about 100% sure it is.  5-48 is just Karl Dorrell in different mustaches.  Man do I hope Karl Dorrell loves walking.

If you do become the Oregon QB, you'll be the latest in a long line of prestigious names and even more prestigious injuries.  Let's take a look at Oregon QBs through the years:

Dennis Dixon:



Injury:  Knee

Akili Smith:



Injury:  Brutal Sucktitude

Anne Boleyn:



Injury:  Poor grasp of complicated playbook.  Also, no head.




Injury:  Asteroid-related extinction




Injury:  Stubborn Rock


So, there you go.  If you take advantage of this limited time offer, you TOO can become a QB as respect as Dennis Dixon or Stegosaurus. Oh, Stegosaurus, you tail caused so many unnecessary roughness penalties.

You can't afford NOT to do this!



And, thus, Stegosaurus was born.  Notice the reference to Dorrell's mustache in there.  Stegosaurus was also the predicate for our love affair with the CoCoTimes chats with beat writer Jonathon Okanes.  In specific, the use of dino names as our handles for the chats.  So, this one is a complicated meme that involves several other memes.  Am I not a true meme wrangler?


TuckNJersey (13) via Maharg

Tucking in your football jersey is an ancient art. A skill based in finesse, finesse that is not oft appreciated in our time. In all the world there exists but one man who still appreciates this art: The Maharg. I’m kidding; the person who still appreciates tucking in football jerseys is a Wazzou fan that The Maharg got the wondrous opportunity to observe entering Martin Stadium for the Cal/Wazzou football game. In an effort to turn everything in his life into a joke (and fit in with the locals), The Maharg tucked in his brand new #13 Kevin Riley jersey and entered the stadium. Once inside, after a brief attempt to locate the Wazzou fan with impeccable fashion taste, Kevin Riley’s siblings (sister and two brothers) spotted The Maharg and dazzled at his amazing fashion sense (the fact that he was wearing their brother’s jersey not that it was tucked in). In the rapture of meeting Kevin Riley’s family, and getting a picture with them, The Maharg did not untuck his jersey or even realize his folly until later in the game.


"To be fair, his jersey is also tucked in, as is Tedford's shirt"

Later, The Maharg wrote up his experience in Pullman and included pictures of his trip, including the picture of the Riley clan. The numerous readers at CGB then decided that anything about Pullman was so boring that it was better to make fun of fashion errors in pictures. It wasn’t long until someone was posting comments under the username TuckNJersey, and everyone was appreciating the wonderful fashion trend born out of sarcasm.

 I’m just kidding, The Maharg actually thinks it’s really cool to tuck in football jerseys and does it all the time. Every single girlfriend he's had broke up with him for tucking in his jersey. The previous story was just something he made up because he couldn’t take the consistent abuse from oaktownmario. Now let’s all go mock The Maharg.






Next up we have a #1 seed.  Bak Bak takes on the one, the only SydBoner (8).  BakBak got a bye to this point.

The homoerotic SydBoner beat the heretoerotic Freida Pinto in the first round.  Even then I wrote that whoever won there was getting crushed by Bak Bak.  Bak Bak is a serious contender for the Meme National Championship here.  Does SydBoner stand a chance?


Bak Bak (1)

There has been a lot of bad news coming out of Sudan.  Genocide.  Horrific human rights abuses. 

But finally a ray of sunshine in that terrible, terrible cloud.  A shining beacon of hope for a devastated group of people.  And by devastated group of people, I, of course, mean Cal basketball fans. 

Yes, cometh Bak Bak!  He is everything you could ever want in a basketball (or, more accurately, BakBaketball player). 



Bak Bak is a new recruit to the Cal basketball team.  He's a pretty good player, apparently needs to put on some weight and work on his game a little bit more.  But the sheer audacity of his name is so audaciously audacious that total awesomeness ensued.  I mean c'mon, how much more do I need to explain this?  Dudes first name is Bak.  And his last name is.............also Bak.  The only thing better would be if his name was Ong Bak.



And even then Bak Bak is probably better.  So, from there we somehow turned Bak Bak into some sort of Allah-esque creation, referring to him as "Praise Be To Bak Bak."  Or "All Hail Bak Bak."  Or "May Bak Bak Grace You With His Presence."  Yknow stuff like that. 

Bak Bak is going to the finals, you heard it here first!


SydBoner (8)

Beer has offered us a lot of things in life.  Or so I've been told.  But it has never quite offered us something like SydBoner before. 

See, Syd'Quan Thompson is one of the finest DBs in all the land.  Although he had a rocky start to his collegiate career, he has learned from those trying times.  He has blossomed into a true lock-down corner. 

And against MSU, he had quite the game. 

In this post, CBKWit wrote about Syd'Quan Thompson's effect on the game.  Or at least his drunken memory of it:

Watching a game live, drunk, and having only a sun-soaked video monitor with fewer pixels than an iphone to watch replays, you tend to miss a few things.  I decided to re-watch the game in hopes of answering a few lingering questions (Did Sundberg blow that snap?  No, it went right through Anger's hands.  Were Nasty Nate's interceptions as bad as they seemed?  No, they were worse.).   Beer helped my write some truly insightful insights in my notebook, like "SYD'BONER" after this play:


Syd's hit wasn't the only thing hard.


But CBKWit wasn't going to stop there.  He spoke of the SydBoner again:


thank you SYDBONER

by CBKWit on Sep 5, 2008 2:28 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs


But perhaps it went too far.  In this post, CBkWit's depth of analysis as to the quality of Syd'Quan Thompson's play consisted solely of this word:




Well, he ain't no HydroTech!

And thus, CBKWit did create the concept of the SydBoner.  An erection stemming from the football play of Syd'Quan Thompson.