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CGB Meme Invitational Second Round - More UC Eugene Regional Action!

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Here is all thesecond set of Second Round Action in the CGB Meme Invitational UC Eugene Regional.  Read the information further behind the fold. 

First up we have the name matchup, itself.  UC Eugene (1) versus Diante Jackson (9).  UC Eugene had a bye into this matchup.  Diante Jackson defeated the #8 seed in the regional, Truth Or __________.

I think UC Eugene is going far here.  I think Diante Jackson is enjoyable, but somewhat limited.  Everybody loves ragging on those Ducks up north.  EVERYBODY!


UC Eugene (1)  

Here at CGB, we have our link dump, the Daily Bear Dump (or DBD).  I once thought what if we took our show on the road.  The rest?  CGB History. 

I brought it to our fatter, stupider, balder siblings up north, Addicted To Quack. 



This land may now be called California Golden Blogs North.

But do not worry, fair denizens of UC Eugene.  We come in peace!  Here, take these cured meats and bejeweled jean jackets as signs of our goodwill.  We have been traveling to the many different SBNation-States here as pioneers, explorers, and conquistadors.  Mostly, conquistadors, because we love those hats.


"The Maharg in full rave mode" via

First, we went to Building The Dam.  Their ways are interesting to us all.  They showed us their giant feasts, their all night dance parties, and their cocaine-fueled goat orgies. 

Things were going well until they tried to complain about how long it had been since they went to the mystical "Rose Bowl."  Their impudence offended us.  Telling us how to deal with not going to a Rose Bowl is like telling a fish how to survive in water.  It's just second nature to us.  So, we left.  I mean we raped, pillaged and burned before we left.  But not quite in that order.  And that was the problem.  We burned first, which really decreased the quality of both the rape and the pillage.  Always have to remember to keep that in the specific order.  Burn last.  Always remember.  Burn, last.

We then traveled to the Nation of the Bruins.  Their fast-paced acronym-based language confused us.  We tried to make nice nice with those hostiles by giving them the stuffed mustaches of Dorrell.  But, in response, the savages shot arrows at us.  So, we got the hell out of there.  But not before they captured CBKWit.  We thought of trying to go back in to save him, but I mean c'mon, arrows?!?!?  I don't need that.  Not worth it, not worth it.

And now we are here and we like it.  It's good up here.  Decent home-brewed beers, I mean not as good as back in our fair land, but still pretty good.  I'm partial to JShufelt's JDraft.  That's a good one.  I've always felt Seattle Quacker's JDraft was just derivative.

Plus, after how our football team has done against yours the past 4 out of 5 years, I feel like we own this land anyway.  So, in anticipation of the big b-ball game this weekend, we have come here to claim this land in the name of CGB.  Bring us your women, build us our houses, and let's get to the work making CGB North the best possible CGB Annex possible.  Can't be worse than Euro-CGB.  Let's do this thing!

Now, I bring you news of your new team!  Listen carefully to see how your new Golden Bear overlords are doing.

Thus there was much merriment and subjugation of locals.  All was good with the world.  I was the Tyrant Boy King of UC Eugene.  My people were happy:


This is the greatest DBD in the history of CGB. I hope JServant arrives at my door early tomorrow morning so he can cool me off with large palm fronds while his minions feed me grapes.

"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.

by Berkelium97 on Jan 19, 2009 11:55 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs


Then, ultimately, there was the insurrection and the Declaration Of Independence.

On the same evening, the 1st convention of of the Addicted To Quack Congress declared the following:


When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the sporting ties which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all bloggers are created equal, that they are endowed by Peter Bean with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Such is now the necessity which constrains Addicted To Quack to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Cal Golden Blogs (TwistNHook) is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over Addicted To Quack. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

With their presence, they did infect the fine name of Addicted To Quack with Rose Bowl envy, a malady brought upon by never seeing ones team win outright a football conference champion and take it's rightful place in the Rose Bowl Game, presented by AT&T.

With this Envy, they continued this complex with an undue amount of emphasis on "non-revenue" sports. While the fine denizens of Addicted To Quack respect the accomplishments of all athletic teams of the fine University, placing priority on lower-level athletics gives off the appearance of inferiority.

During occupation, the citizens of Addicted To Quack were subjected to all manor of inside jokes and mannerisms. However, this "Bearificiation" failed to contain the best of all UC Berkeley blogging traditions, the "Double Air E-Honk." ( When it was presented, it was a shell of it's former self. It is an insult that the traditions were not passed on adequately.  

CGB, in an act of torture in clear violation of the Geneva Conventions, used ATQ pagespace to terrorize citizens by subjecting them to heinous activities, such as "tennis," and "rugby."

The lower level citizens of CGB, instead of opening their arms to their brethren, instead decided to bring up bad blood by posting heinous pictures of events of which we shall not speak.

Cal Golden Blogs tried to export to the North, crappy beer, the so-called JDraft. This is totally unacceptable to our refined palates.

With these usurpations, Addicted To Quack must free itself from the tyrannical shackles of South, and take up arms!

Of course, as the Tyrant Boy King, I have personally led the forces into battle to squelch this insurrection. 


I'm on the left there.  That's Oaktown on the right.

So, there you go.  The invasion and occupation of CGB North.  Their land is our land.  Never forget that.  We're like the British!  But with better teeth!

Diante Jackson (9) via Avinash



"Thoroughbred bragged that highly touted recruit Diante Jackson would come to Cal.  This was particularily important, because he goes to a local high school 20 minutes away from Berkeley.  He did not show. Carp started expressing his disappointment at not grabbing him, even though Tedford had apparently stopped recruiting him.  Nonetheless, T-Bred got flustered, and we started pouncing everytime T-Bred talked about possible recruiting issues. His reactions were the funniest part of the whole situation."

Why you should vote for this meme: Witnessing T-Bred's meltdowns, including an impersonation of Liam Neeson from that trailer everyone saw on tv:

I heard if you get Diante Jackson back, Hydro will DEFINITELY come back.

by Avinash on Mar 12, 2009 9:06 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people who mention the AntiChrist Diante Jackson. If you stop mentioning the AntiChrist Diante Jackson now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.


by Thoroughbred on Mar 12, 2009 9:15 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs









Up next we have the #2 seed in this bracket.  Bombarding Okanes (2) versus Carp's NSFW Photos (10).  Okanes had a Bye into this matchup.  Carp's NSFW Photos defeated Dice Wars in the first round.

This should be a tight matchup.  People love Okanes, but people also love nearly or fully naked women.

Bombarding Okanes (2)

The thing about memes is that they are sort of gel together.  Jon Okanes (or JOkanes or JO or YOkanes or YO) is a local beat writer.  Great guy and great writer.  Each week during the football season he always has his live CoCoTimes chats.  I've always wondered how many non-CGBers attend these things.  Because it has become sport to try to create the most ludicrous names and bombard him with the most lucrious questions.  He even called somebody pretending to be me "something rhyming with the word runt" once.

Of course, these memes gel together and so it would make sense that Stegosaurus would come in to ask a question.

LOL Stegosaurus FTW

[Comment From Stegosaurus]
JO, any word on Mitchell Schwartz’s progress in practice? The kid looks like dino-mite!
Jonathan Okanes: Stego, Schwartz continues to play well, although I think he’s found the going to be a little tougher on the left side. He’s had a couple of penalties and hasn’t been quite as dominant as he was on the right side. That said, he’s still holding his own.

...nuh nuh nuh gone

by Thoroughbred on Oct 16, 2008 1:52 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   1 recs


Not sure who first asked that Stego question, but soon everybody and their mom was rocking dino names.  Like SydQuanatops. Or Longshore Rex.  I think Rishi tried to start something about South Indian names like SydQuanatops.  That toads bombed.  Ha!

So, there you go.  Now, it's your solemn duty to go bombard his chats with the craziest names.  And if you are AaronRodgers4President, stop asking so many serious questions.  AH!  Although Okanes actually let my AaronRodgers4Pope and AaronRodgers4GrandImperialWizard questions in, so its OK I guess.


Carp's NSFW Photos (10) via Ragnarok

Ordinarily, sweeping general policies are not made in response to the actions of just one man, but carp is no ordinary man.  His penchant for posting photographs that could lead to unfortunate consequences should they be viewed at a place of business is legendary around these parts.  Of course, complaints followed, and so it was decreed that all images of questionable suitability should not be posted directly into comments, but rather posted as links with the Not Safe For Work (NSFW) caveat applied.  Thus, harmony was restored to CGB.

However, we are here today to celebrate carp and his tireless efforts to bring the CGB community the best in NSFW images that Al Gore's internet has to offer.  From the 'Bama fan of the week' to his All-Conference Cheerleading Team, carp's NSFW images are legendary.

Now, I can't possibly link to all of carp's contributions, so I'll only repost a few links here.  Believe me, there are many, many more.  If you search for 'NSFW' in comments by carp, you get (to date) 136 search results.  Outstanding, sir!