Here is the 3 v. 14 matchup. Honk v. Mrs (name of poster, most often Twist), is that you? Read the information behind the fold and then vote in the poll.
Man, I don't even know what to write about this matchup. They are both pretty random. There is no real correlation between the two. Except that one meme is really short and the other is really long. That said, let's get it on!
Honk (3)
Honk was a joke that I originally wrote on vacation in South Cack. I explained it thusly:
While on vacay (vacation for those not forced to watch Legally Blonde ten to twelve times a week), I had a lot of free time to write jokes. I have mentioned this previously.
But I failed to mention how I wrote quite possibly the greatest joke in the history of organized comic timing. The key to writing a good joke is balancing both the broad and narrow aspects of it. A broad joke, as the name implies, is one that might be appreciated by everybody in the world. A narrow joke is one that might be appreciated by a much smaller crowd. The purest narrow joke would be an inside joke with only you and a few friends.Generally, narrow jokes are the funniest and wittiest, because as you appeal to more and more people you have to de-witty and de-funny it to make sure all get it.
For example, if you were to go to another blog and write "This" after all the posts, they probably wouldn't find it funny. Ok, bad example, because even here, nobody finds that funny. Nobody. Ever. Not even HolmoePhobe and I'm pretty sure that guy is the biggest humor slut in the history of humor and sluts.
Every now and then something comes along (like Seinfeld) that can write broad and witty jokes and those people make a LOT of money. I am not one of those people.
But I did manage to write one joke that is unprecedented in both its broadness and absurd wit. It's like an onion, you unpeel it and unpeel it and each time you see the joke from a different angle. You can't just experience the joke once, you have to see it from all the different angles. Like a fine wine, you have to really let it sink in and settle and then appreciate it.
Ok, are you ready for this joke. One so amazing, so unbelievably, so broad, yet so witty? Are you ready for this joke, ready to unpeel it layer by layer to see all the different prisms of hilarity inside? If you, LET'S DO THIS THING:
Just grab another dudes boob and yell "HONK!" really loudly.
I quickly discovered that this joke straight ahead didn't work online. E-Honk was not as funny as a real honk. And believe me a real honk is hilarious.
Just ask the Stanford Tree:
But, online, honk evolved. It was no longer a straight ahead joke. We started looking at it from different angles. Referencing it as the inaniest inane to ever inane. It's a bit hard to explain, but the concept of Honk in and of itself became the joke, not the honking itself. The joke initially was very ironic and then it became very non-ironic, so the usage had to become even MORE ironic. It was an interesting evolution. It came to stand for one of the most worthless events on this site, even though there was a lot of wit to it if used correctly.
Mrs (name of poster, most often Twist), is that you? (14) via Maharg
Lurkers come in many shapes and sizes. As we all know, there are a lot of lurkers on CGB that rarely if ever comment. We also know that wives have nothing better to do than spy on their husbands and meddle in their lives (amirite Rishi?). Furthermore, we know that Twist is whipped (it’s even a meme!).
What we don’t know is how the wives spy on us, especially how Mrs. TwistNHook spies on him. Well look no further, because we have the answers. The wives of every poster on CGB, got together and pooled their husbands’ passwords and logins. Now they can come at us from any angle! We must be ever vigilante and anytime we recognize a comment as unlike the poster issuing it, we will quickly root out whichever wife wrote it.
Just kidding guys, noone’s wives come on CGB. You can rest easy and not suspect anyone of being someone else’s wife.
Hey, I didn’t write that. Mrs. Maharg, is that you?