It cannot have been easy for him to stand as a lone voice. A lone voice against the brutal inanity that is "The Big Lebowski." Yes, I said it. I went there.
At a time when it would have been so easy for him just to fall in line against the violent hordes comprising the Lebowski Cult. It would have been so easy for him to just to live his life based on lies. But OaktownMario is not that kind of man. Even if he had to flee to the tundra wasteland of CGB North to fight another day, he did it with dignity and heroism. He fought back against the Politburo Party Line of "Lebowski=Funny" before anybody else was. And now he is organizing the underground resistance. Now, he continues the fight!
"A statue honoring OaktownMario's heroic battle" via farm3.static.flickr.com
Before he had to take refuge amongst our stupider brethren to the North, he warned me not to believe the agitprop of the Lebowskiers. He warned me that they would try to control CGB by controlling me. Heavy hangs the head that wears the Crown. There was only one way I could figure out who was telling the truth.
I heroically rented "The Big Lebowski." And after viewing the first hour of it, I can attest to you that OaktownMario is a TRUE AMERICAN HERO!
We can't let the Lebowskiers continue their horrible march to power. With every passing moment, they become stronger and stronger. You are either with us or against us.
Lebowski is to "comedy" what the Mafia is to crime. But its goal is not making money. Its goal is remaking the world and imposing its radical beliefs on people everywhere.
The Lebowskiers practice a fringe form of extremism that has been rejected by scholars and the vast majority of clerics; a fringe movement that perverts the peaceful teachings of The Dude.
The terrorists' directive commands them to kill Christians and Jews, to kill all Americans and make no distinctions among military and civilians, including women and children.
This group and its leader, a person named CBKWit, are linked to many other organizations in different countries, including The Maharg and ZooNews.
"No, Donnie, it is in fact, you, who is out of their element. via www.theodoresworld.net
There are thousands of these Lebowskiers in more than 60 countries. They seek to control the CGB Crown. They will stop at nothing to press their pro-Lebowski agenda. Whether its quoting the horrifically unfunny movie, continuing to quote the horrifically unfunny movie, or making fun of people who have yet to quote the horrifically unfunny movie, they always have a trick up their sleeve.
But this is what I say to you, reasonable denizens of CGB. WE NEED TO FIGHT! WE NEED TO FIGHT AGAINST THE CULT OF THE DUDE!
Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may bore us with their terrible taste in movies, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!
Americans are asking, "How will we fight and win this war?" We will direct every resource at our command -- every means of diplomacy, every tool of intelligence, every instrument of law enforcement, every financial influence and every necessary weapon of war -- to the destruction and to the defeat of the global Lebowski network.
From this day forward, any nation that continues to harbor or support Lebowskiers will be regarded by the CGB as a hostile regime. Our nation has been put on notice, we're not immune from attack. We will take defensive measures against terrorism to protect Americans.
Stand with me, CGB. Stand with me against everything the "comedy" "The Big Lebowski" stands for. You are either with us or against us. Make your decision, CGB.
Women's basketball beats Arizona:
BERKELEY (AP) -California senior forwards Devanei Hampton and Ashley Walker weren't about to lose their final game at home.
Hampton scored 12 points and grabbed 10 rebounds, and Walker added 11 points Saturday, helping ninth-ranked Cal beat Arizona 51-48 and snap its two-game losing streak.
"That's what seniors do," Cal coach Joanne Boyle said. "They know what's on the line for them. When they need to, they buckle down. Dev had 10 boards tonight, 10 defensive boards. Every one of those boards we needed down the stretch."
Natasha Vital added 12 points for Bears (24-5, 15-3) in their Pac-10 regular-season finale. They earned the No. 2 seed in the upcoming conference tournament and beat Arizona for the seventh straight time.
Ify Ibekwe led Arizona (11-18, 4-14) with 21 points and 13 rebounds. She gave the Wildcats a scare when she hit the floor in pain, clutching her left knee with 15:05 left in the game. But Ibekwe, who missed two games last week with a knee injury, stayed in the game.
Hampton and Walker, playing in the final home game of their careers, helped Cal overcome a 23-20 halftime deficit and break out of its offensive slump.
The two combined for a 9-0 run helping Cal take its first lead of the game - 29-26 - on Hampton's three-point play. Walker's basket made it 35-26 with 10:15 left.
The Bears extended the lead to 44-30 on Walker's 3-pointer.
Postgame Quotes:
"It's a nice way to end the regular season, putting an end to our season on a good note and starting to focus on the Pac-10 tournament. That is a whole other season for us. To come out on senior night and find a way to win. This is what tournament play is going to be like for us, having to go and grind out games. We're used to that. I think there were nerves and a lot of emotion for senior night. We found a way to win and that is what is most important."
"I think we just settled down in the second half. We had a little bit of a run. That gave us some confidence and momentum. We kept telling them at time outs. This is our push. We've got to keep going at them. Everyone contributed tonight to make that happen. Trell (Shantrell Sneed) gave good minutes. Casey (Morris) gave good minutes. We needed everybody. Dev had ten defensive boards tonight, and we needed every one of them. You have to find a way to win, and we did."
"They went on a run in the final three-four minutes. They went to their horns play, a quick ball screen, and we didn't adjust. They scored a couple of quick buckets off that. Down the stretch, though, that last minute, we did what we needed to do defensively and we got the win."
"This team always finds a way to win. We had two losses back-to-back. What makes it more dramatic, is when they happened. They happened back-to-back, which we haven't done in a really long time (since the 2005-06 season) and they happened at the end of the season. If you have a loss at the beginning of the season and the middle of the season, everyone just moves forward. But back-to-back and the end of the season, we've got a lot at stake. And we played like that. For us to come in tonight and find a way to win, it says a lot."
