Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring - not even a mouse.
Look. Tomorrow is an important day. Tomorrow is COLLEGE FOOTBALL signing day. 17 year old kids who you've been dreaming about can finally make your dreams come true by signing and faxing some papers to our holiest, Tedford. It's like Christmas all over again. But instead of getting seasonal knit sweaters as gifts, we're getting real human beings!!! Who are signing their lives away to play for Cal!!!
You see, this is a very serious situation.
Now that I have expressed the seriousness of the situation to you, let me tell you your next duty.
We must jump the shark.
We've jumped the shark on gospel choirs. We've jumped the shark on tote bags, DBDs, WMDs, DDs, JDs, WWJDs, and George W. Bush. But our jumping isn't complete without jumping the shark on our obsession with UCLA.
We must jump the shark with our obsession with UCLA and instead take our obsession to the next level.
From now on, we all must change our taglines expressing our obsession for UCLA and Bruins Nation. You must now post comments using excessive abbreviations and acronyms.
For example, instead of saying "oh my god, what the f@%#? TwistNHook is such a douchebag asshole." You'd say: "OMG, WTF. TNH is such a DBAH."
Let's try another.
What's this mean: "BN & CRN are a bunch of DBAHs"?
It means, "Bruins Nation and Coach Rich Neuheisel are a bunch of .... dearly beloved adorable honeys." Yes, we love them very much!
We love them, and obsess about them, even though they are trying to steal Stanley Hasiak away from us:
I’m told that Stan Hasiak will not make his announcement until Signing Day and UCLA is still in the picture. Stay tuned.
So be sure to jump the shark on our UCLA obsession. Be sure to comment with excessive acronyms. Be sure to change your signature to reflect your newly found obsession with UCLA. Be sure to pray that Hasiak signs with UCLA because deep down you secretly wish you went to UCLA and want UCLA to be the top ranked public university instead of Cal.
TnH is the DBOTW!!!
OMGWTFBBQ!!! I <3 UCLA, CRN, & BN. I H8 CGB! Let's all go 2 GGF!!! OMG!!! TTYL LOLZ! OK! BBL!!! UCLA is the GOAT!!! JK!!
OK, SRSLY. Let's go 2 GGF!!! OMG!!!
Okay, seriously. Let's go to Golden Gate Fields. There sounded like there might be enough interest from people to organize a CGB @ GGF outing.
I suggest Sundays since they are $1 days - meaning parking, programs, beer, soda, hotdogs, and entry fee are all $1 each.
If people would rather go on a Saturday or Friday, I guess we could do that too.
For those people that want to see what it's like and have never been before, see this post I put up a week ago.
So.... vote in the poll below. Beware that Sunday February 15th is the day after Valentines Day. That might not be a great day for some of us. Some of us might be hung over. Others might be or feel rejected and depressed, and as worthless as an attorney. Others might be at the girlfriend's house (or boyfriend's house) and sleeping in or whatever couples do nowadays. So just beware that February 15th might be a tough day for some people to attend.
Remember, races start around 1245 pm but you want to get there earlier to eat, place bets, etc. The last race ends around 5:15 pm if there are a full 10 races or whatever. So all you kids that are still in school will have plenty of time to do your homework before class on Monday. Homework is very important. Thus, I suggest you do it, but only after you have fun betting money and drinking beer.