Guys, I have a major emotional problem and I don't know to turn to. Years of unending shtick and consistent honking of those around me has left me with few, if any, friends. I didn't know who to ask, so I turn to you, all-knowing DBD.

See, omnipotent and omnipresent DBD, after the Cal-USC game, I was walking back to my car. As soon as the clock struck 0:00, I walked immediately to my car to return to my wife. She doesn't like it if I stay out much later than that. On the way, I'm calling every 15 feet to update her regarding my progress on returning home. Of course, I am a bit bummed that Cal lost. That sucks, but the pain of that loss was dwarfed (Red Dwarfed, some might say) by the pain of what happened next.

I am about to tell my wife about the score and she says that she had been watching some of the game, saw the score and saw that Cal had lost. But she said, it was OK, because (and this is where it goes downhill fast) she really liked that guy we that coached the other team.

Here's the thing: Because we're 400 years old, we had watched 60 Minutes one night and they had a thing on Pete Carroll. A teary-eyed retrospective. And, apparently, this was enough to cause my wife not only to like him internally (which is horrific enough), but to tell me OUT LOUD! that she thought it was OK Cal lost (which is an unimaginable statement for ones wife to make), because she likes Pete Carroll..........RIGHT AFTER THE GAME ENDED!

So, now I don't know what to do. Should I divorce her immediately or wait until Cal goes to a Rose Bowl, so that there is a lot more spite associated with said Rose Bowl trip??? Help me, knower of the past, the present, the future, and knowledge itself DBD! HALP!

Women's tennis wins Double tourney:

BERKELEY - The California women's tennis team wrapped up play at the 2009 Cal Nike Invitational today (Oct. 4) at the Hellman Tennis Complex with a pair of newcomers stealing the show as the winners of the Blue Flight doubles title. Freshman Tayler Davis and senior transfer Kasia Siwosz defeated Anais Dallara and Deborah Armstrong of Long Beach State, 8-4, in the final to go 4-0 on the weekend together.

In the Gold Flight doubles final, Cal's top-seeded duo of junior Mari Andersson and sophomore Jana Juricova fell to the second-seeded No.4-ranked team of Andrea Remynse and Yasmin Schnack of UCLA. The No. 2-ranked tandem of Andersson and Juricova stayed close with their Bruin opponents but were stopped at the end in a 9-7 loss.

Sophomore Stephany Chang and freshman Nelly Radeva teamed up to win the Blue Flight doubles back-draw with an 8-3 victory against Isabelle Hoy and Alexandra Zaniewski of Santa Clara. Junior Marina Cossou and sophomore Catalina Visico played in a doubles consolation match together and fell, 8-5, to Arizona State's Ashlee Brown and Sianna Simmons.