Part I

Part II

Part III

Well, then.  If this Better Know An Olympian is anything like it's namesake, it'll be incredibly dated in 30 years.  But if this Better Know An Olympian is anything like all the other shlock I write, it'll be an insult not only to the fine men and women who represent Cal in the games, but also America.  And every English teacher I ever had.

Sorry, Mrs. Doke!  Sorry!

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PIG OLYMPICS!

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Part I

Part II

When I started this, 2 weeks ago, Cal had 39 Olympians.  Now, we have 45.  You'd think that was cause for celebration, but it just means MORE work for me!  STOP BEING SO GOOD AT PRODUCING OLYMPIANS, CAL!!!  Also, does anybody know anywhere of a website that ranks Olympians by school attended?  I really wanna know if 45 is the high point. 

To this mid-90s gamer (Final Fantasy 4 life!), the most confusing thing is when hated arch-rivals Mario and Sonic started working together for the Olympics.  Is Crash Bandicoot going to show up, too?????

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It's summer.  Summer is long and there is little sports news to report.  Thus, we here at the CGB are having a hard time filling content this summer.  Even though we're from an elite academic institution (so very elite!), the #1 public university in America (we're #1!), and the best UC of the UCs (although UCR is a darn close 2nd), we're running out of ideas.  EPIC PHAIL.  So with our creativity shot, and desperation settling in, we've turned to other sports and players that are only tangentially related to Cal.  Please excuse our failure to provide you with hi kwality Cal blogging that u have come 2 expekt from graduates of such a elite akademik instutushun.  With that, we now present you with a post on arena football.

So on Saturday night, I found myself in the hot California central valley with not much to do on a Saturday night.  Being a bit bored, I thought I might go to an arena football game since it was only $11 for a cheap end zone ticket.

I had never been to an arena football game before but thought I'd give one a try.  There is an arena football team in Stockton, CA called the Stockton Lightning.  For those of you who don't know where Stockton is, it's about 40 miles south of Sacramento.  There's not a lot in Stockton, yet there happens to be a minor league hockey team or something, a minor league baseball team, and an arena football team.  Oh, and Stockton is the hometown of former Cal Bear Lavelle Hawkins, and current Cal Bear Tad Smith... and yours truly.

Incidentally, former Cal offensive lineman Bryan Deemer is supposedly on the Stockton Lightning so I figured I had someone to root for at the game.  But then I on the online roster that he is inactive.  Bummer.

On the other hand, Lavelle Hawkins' cousin, Ruben Jackson, is a WR for the Lightning.  Ruben Jackson went to Oregon State.  This is his rookie year in the arena league. 

Because there were no other Cal players on the roster, I figured I'd root for Ruben Jackson since he is somewhat related to Lavelle Hawkins, and Hawk went to Cal, so... by the strange laws of loyalty, that means I'm rooting for Ruben.  Or something.

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