vs.   

Game #8 : November 1 vs. Oregon (time and television TBA).

TwistNHook:  This Oregon-USC-OSU block could easily be the 3 toughest weeks of the schedule.  Oregon is the only game at home, so of the three, it's probably the one we need to win the most.  Oregon just lost many key players from one of the greatest seasons of offensive production in its history (and that's saying a lot).  Can they reload?  Will they rebound?  Which they restart?  How they rebuild?  When they something starting with the phrase re?

Yellow Fever:  I'll be honest; I'm not sure why they're ranked so highly.  They lost Dennis Dixon, they lost Jonathan Stewart, their wide receivers were all epically injured last year, and they have Patrick Chung back.  Who exactly is playing on the team this year anyway?

HydroTech:  I too am wondering why everyone is so high on Oregon.  Everyone else must know something that we don't.

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For YOUR California Golden Bears.  In addition, I have no idea how big we are or if I'm infringing copyright laws by copying excerpts relating to our favorite players, but don't be surprised if this entire post disappears without warning.

Kyle Boller: 281/478, 2605 yards, 11 TDs, 20 INTs; 36 rushes, 130 yards, 3 rushing TDs

Boller has been making incremental progress as a quarterback; by the time he's 35, he might be a pretty good starter for someone.  It doesn't look like it's going to happen in Baltimore, however, where in five years Boller has gone from being the next big thing to being the seat warmer for the new big thing, Joe Flacco.  Boller still has the physical tools to be a good player, but he is a robotic decision-maker who struggles in the red zone where quick decisions are necessary.  Boller has received a majority of the snaps in minicamp and is the favorite to be the Week 1 starter, but he's going to have to pull a Drew Brees-style breakout to hold onto the job past midseason.

Hmm.  "Robotic decision-maker"...where have I heard that before...

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via cornerstork.files.wordpress.com

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

I am going to throw a temper tantrum.  No.  Make that I am throwing a temper tantrum.  Right now.

See, I went to live out my dream.  To meet Marshawn.  And look, I knew it wasn't going to be like we met and became besties and moved to Buffalo together.  And look, I knew I was really paying $30.00 for a few words, an autograph, and a photo together.  But hell, I would have loved to get that.

And I was all ready to write the "I TRIUMPHANTLY AND FINALLY MET MY EPIC MANCRUSH, MARSHAWN" post.  It would have gone something like this:

ASORGHAREGHAORSIFJAOSawgekaopewgfawfeJAOEIRGJFWAOPEGFJKAFK

AFJGAGPJAGPJPeargjapregjafaewfaswfoiasgfjoJROGHAOEGHEAORG

Moreover, AOREGHAOIRGHAOREHAHOGFAijgfewoaijewfoiajfeoagreo

In conclusion, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  I MET MARSHAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But instead, I won't get to write that joyful gibberish at all.  This story is as dreadfully painful as all the other gibberish I pen for this site.

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It's no secret that we here at the CGB love us some Marshawn.  He is, after all, a fresh of breath air. 

And you know what?  We even got to talk to him once.  As a matter of fact, that was a year and a day ago.  So guess what?  Marshawn was online after minicamp, again.

Note: all screennames edited to protect the innocent.  Or in the case of TwistNHook, the guilty.

[21:00] TwistNHook: OH SHIT
[21:00] *** Auto-response sent to TwistNHook: Oh shit! I got the shoe! I'm so invincible! Oh! Eat it, you bitch! You don't understand! I got the damn SHOE! It's the shoe! And look at how cute I am with my stupid plumber head poking out of the wind up sock! I am the cutest invincible shoe rider ever! Mario! Mario! He's in the ULTRA green SHOOEEE!
[21:00] TwistNHook: MARSHAWN IS ON

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