FanPost

DBD 1-14-14


So I had a random thought yesterday reading the DBD, as yet another mention of thescientist019s lack of female companionship meme reared it's non-existent head. You know, back in the day, I was good I guess at meeting females and indicating that I would like to get to know them better. Sadly, thescientist019 seems to have a problem with what he calls "friend-zoning"; a bizarre concept I can not even begin to understand.

I've tried to help, and have provided a simple 5 step process for pursuing female companionship, but I realize in this case it may not be enough. My fantasy, is that I can "gift" a small percentage of my not inconsiderable skills to him (just the picking up part, mind you, the rest is up to you). I mean I'm not using them, really they're just going to waste. I've been married a long time; decades, really. Not long ago, I was casually flirting with a saleswoman, when I realized (I try to keep things light and easy) that the answer to her repeated question of "is there anything else you want from me" was "just your phone number, baby"

NO NO NO abandon ship Loud noises.

But it just seems so easy, I wish I could convince thescientist019 how easy it can be. For anyone. They outnumber us. They want us (lord knows why, but whatever).

Anyway, my next thought (after this goofy idea), what if this was a Hollywood movie? Well I would have to be different, there would be a crazy culture clash between a white guy stuck in the past, with his 70's muscle car, and his outmoded 70's ideas on treating women; thescientist019 (who was after the cute but shy Asian girl) would suddenly become a Player with a capital P, but that would only turn off the cute Asian girl (who really always was into him) and get laid dozens of times, but with wacky and funny side-effects.

Of course, after this interlude, thescientist019 would renounce all that action as being "possessed by a Chinese demon" or something, the cute Asian girl would swoon for him (yo being a player as for your girlfriend? good advertisement) and everything would go back to normal and they would live happily ever after.

So what say y'all?

The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join California Golden Blogs

You must be a member of California Golden Blogs to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at California Golden Blogs. You should read them.

Join California Golden Blogs

You must be a member of California Golden Blogs to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at California Golden Blogs. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker