As we prepare to play the Ohio State Buckeyes this week, I was reminded about a guy named Tito Paul. Who is Tito Paul, you ask? Tito Paul was a hard hitting defensive back for Ohio State in the 1990s who went on to play a few seasons in the NFL.
The husband of one of my ex-wife's closest friends (a huge Ohio State fan) loved Tito Paul. Paul was one of his favorite Buckeyes ever, precisely because of Paul's hard hitting nature. In fact, one of the funniest things I remember about the guy is that he used "Tito Paul" as a verb. How did he do that, you ask? Easy.
Road rage? "I wish I could just drive up and Tito Paul that guy."
Obnoxious guy in a bar? "If that guy doesn't shut up, I'm just gonna Tito Paul him."
Annoying guy at work? "God, I just wish I could Tito Paul that guy so he'd shut up."
The examples could be endless. Basically, "Tito Paul" was his go-to verb for hitting someone hard. Or, really, for any spontaneous act of mano-a-mano violence.
Well, Cal football has a guy like that, amirite? Avery Sebastian.
I probably speak for all of us Cal fans when I say that I'm sad that Avery is out for the season with the torn Achilles he suffered in the first half of the season opener. We miss him in the secondary for sure, and I dare say we will miss watching him hit guys on the field.
What better way to honor him than turn him into a verb?
I hope our defense can Avery Sebastian some guys this weekend!
What do you think? If you had to turn a player into a verb, whom would you pick? And what verb would it be? (For example, what would it mean if I said, "Man, I really Joe Ayoob'd that toss there.")
Now, excuse me while I go Avery Sebastian some annoying attorneys.