Cal Football Te'o-ing (via Lindsay Brauner)
Thanks goes to Leland Wong for transcribing!
Lindsay Brauner (LB): Brendan, if you had to invent a fake girlfriend, who would it be and why?
Brendan Bigelow:: Vanessa Williams cuz she’s sexy. * laughs *
LB: Brendan... It’s Manti Te’o! If you were gonna pull a Manti Te’o--
LB: --that’s where this is coming from.
LB: If you had to make up a fake girlfriend, who would it be and why?
Kameron Jackson (KJ): That’s a good one. I might choose Rihanna. She’s just cool. I gotta have her. I gotta have her.
LB: Kameron! That was in reference to Manti Te’o! It’s a fake girlfriend. She has to die. She can’t be a celebrity!
KJ: She has to die? Oh! What do you mean she has to die?!
Bryce Treggs (BT): I think I would have a fake girlfriend who’s a Victoria’s Secret model. Her name would be like an exotic name, like Something Longoria, cuz that’s an exotic name. She would die, like, slipping on the runway. Nobody would know. Nobody would be able to figure that out.
LB: Zach, if you had to make up a fake girlfriend, who would it be and why?
Zach Kline (ZK): * looks off to the distance and waves * There’s my fake girl.
* Lindsay waves *
ZK: Isn’t she gorgeous? She has great eyes. Hello.
LB: Hello! Cool! There she is. Are you telling her to leave?
LB: Time to go? Okay, she’s gone now. I see that--I see that now.