Rapid fire breaking news from your on the scene CGB correspondent, boomtho. Some stories may involve CGB personalities - but who?!
- An older man was walking down the streets of Berkeley (OK, to be precise: 12 steps North of the intersection of Bancroft and Telegraph), timing the light changes when we was accosted by a middle aged white male. Witnesses reported hearing the male yell "Tarzana rules, Berkeley drools!" before hopping into his Mercedes S600.
- Police responded to a domestic disturbance in Union City. When they arrived, they found an Asian male yelling at his computer for "losing all my screen captures." Neighbors also reported a history of excessively loud brining, dumpling whacking, and golf ball shanking.
- An Asian man in Boston was arrested after he was seen chasing after Asian women, yelling "I'M SO RONERY."
- In what appear to be unrelated events, Lakers fans were snatched from their office across Northern and Southern California. They were last seen on buses bearing the name "Boomtho Re-Education Camp. Go Warriors!"