Cal'in it: The Cal football vs. WSU Report Card

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Old Blues, welcome home to a familiar feeling. Young Blues, this is the epitome of being a Cal fan. Hoping for the best, getting excited, and being let down. But we are a hearty bunch and we'll keep supporting our sturdy Golden Bears until the bitter end! GO BEARS!

Berkelium97: This is a bummer, man.  That's a...that's a bummer.

Average Standard Deviation
Pass Offense .487 .263
Rush Offense .154 .110
Pass Defense .147 .346
Rush Defense .346 .254
Special Teams .473 .278
Coaching .270 .232
Overall .202 .155
Win Chance vs. UCLA .044 (-.416) .158

Yessir, those grades are abysmal.  At least Goff and the special teams received put some effort into the exam.  The rest didn't even spell their names correctly.

4.4% chance of beating UCLA...

At least we can still hand out some awards.  They will never take that away from us.

AWARDS!

The first award is the royrules22 Honorary Editor's Choice Award, which goes to: (this was the name submitted with this report card)

This is the end

Beautiful friend

This is the end

My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end

Of everything that stands, the end

No safety or surprise, the end

I'll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be

So limitless and free

Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand

In a...desperate land

For whatever reason, we have had a ton of usernames that are much, much longer than usual this season.  After royrules penned a lengthy treatise on why the "name" field of the report card has too much space, we decided to name this week's editor's choice award after him. Keep up the good work!

Now let us turn towards the three-headed beast that is our usual slate of awards.  First, those who could squeeze sunshine from a rock.

Sonny Delight

1. TexCALipoca 4.45 (63.6%)
2. Stay Golden 3.60 (62.9%)
2. iwastherefortheplay 3.60 (62.9%)
2. GoldenBoiler 3.60 (62.9%)
5. Blocky T. Bear 3.38 (48.3%)

Keep those heads held high, Cal fans.

And now to our ever-growing list of pessimists.

Sonny Yikes!

1. Berkelium97 0.00 0.00%
1. garbage 0.00 0.00%
1. Gocalbaseball 0.00 0.00%
1. Izalco72 0.00 0.00%
1. resbear 0.00 0.00%
1. rollonyoubears111 0.00 0.00%
1. Schmiddtymcfunstuff 0.00 0.00%
1. the townie 0.00 0.00%
1. Tupac Amaru Shakur 0.00 0.00%
1. worstteamintheentireuniverse 0.00 0.00%

Well, at least Tupac still appears to be alive.

Finally, the most reasonable among us.

The Voice of Reason

1. Oski Disciple .070
2. BearlyLegal .105
3. puresilence .109
4. Pi-eater .110
5. MJB .115

puresilence is becoming a regular among the voices of reason!

Well, that does it for this week's results.  I'd say it will get better next week, but we're playing UCLA.  And now to Sam with your inspirational and uplifting comments!

Sam Fielder: They (whomever they are...)say that misery loves company and as I sit here wearing a Cal hat, sweatshirt, and shorts I actually feel a lot better about this season.  Reading through all of your comments has become somewhat cathartic for me, so thanks to each of you that has taken the time to write in.  You guys are a hilarious bunch for sure and even made me laugh out loud on a couple of occasions.

Couple of props go out to 4evergolden for the face palm graphic they drew for each comment (it wouldn't copy over correctly) and to Tupac for stopping by and even posting links to the YouTubes of the special selections.  Seriously, even if our football team isn't very good, our fans are the best!

GameDay Experience
alpha1906: Wasn't a game. So no experience.
Screamin Meanie Frisco TX: This all boils down to coaching. You can't compete with an under coached defense in pac12. Buh is what he is ...a linebacker coach. Not a DC. This is not LA Tech going against...Tulsa or North Texas Mean Green where u can out score them like a pinball machine. Tedford was a bit more prepared than Dykes and Bush!
Old Bear 71: I am an Old Blue. Been through this mess lots of times. Things go up and then they come back down. When it goes up again, and it will, enjoy the ride. But you know, the mail was delivered today and the sun will rise in the morning.My grand children are all healthy and my latest pay check didn't bounce. Cal football will be what it is, a work in progress as we all expected.
4ever Golden: (Managed to drawn an impressive facepalm with just characters...pretty amazing but I can't get it copy over so you'll have to trust me on this...)
texashaterforlife: compared to last week, the weather and conditions were excellent
sacman701: I was going to help my dad move some boxes this morning and I got stuck in traffic for nearly 2 hours on I-5. He told me to just turn back around. Then at the start of the 4th quarter my wife asked with me to go with her to Rocklin to meet with the guy who's buying her car, so I "recorded" the rest of the game which stopped about 5 minutes into the 4th quarter because the game ran over its allotted time. Seems I didn't miss much.
rollonyoubears111-warning: the following is not for the faint of heart or people who hate people who are just so negative: What an anemic crowd to match the anemic play on the field. I felt like I was the only one screaming in the crowd.
SoCal Oski: If anything was ever deserving of being declared Sanchez ...
CalBear91: People seemed to show up.
Tupac Amaru Shakur: California Love http://youtu.be/5wBTdfAkqGU
worstteamintheentireuniverse: The beer garden for season ticket holders is very nice. Too bad I won't get to use it next year.
puresilence: sad
ahhhhhhhhhbooooooooooooooo: so sad. beer was good.
coolingfan: It was warm homecoming. I was there with my parents, and the Sproul rally was a blast as usual. The dinner at Steve's BBQ after the game was awesome and brought back memories. The only missing piece in this great afternoon was good football. This is the worst Cal team I've seen in a decade, hands down, in terms of performance. I still love our players, though, and I think they deserve better for the efforts they are putting into the game.
garbage: cal is pathetic this year. i give up on the team
Oski Disciple: The stadium is always beautiful. The band is always great. I love the cannon and Oski is my higher power. But the weather was uncomfortably hot and dry and our football team was uncomfortably bad. So...meh.
And by the way, the game day experience is negatively affected when refs call that stupid celebration penalty (never mind that this one was for a play that never happened). For taunting yes give 15 yards but its ludicrous to penalize young people for exhibiting joy. And don't give me this act like you've been their crap. Why should you act like you've already done something you've never done before and may never do again? Maybe just so you don't offend the sensibility of some rich white men in suits. Horsesh*t.
Goldenbear8933: There was this girl taking a nap in front of me. Literally lying down across the bench sleeping at the end of the 3rd quarter. The game was honestly one of my worst Cal experiences.
PRD74: With the exceptions of the improved California Marching Band and seeing the our Champions, Football Alumni, and Coach Mike White, the entire gameday experience can be summed up in one word: gawdawful. Our team has no one else to blame but themselves for the poor attendance this year. Embarrassing.


Pass Offense
MJB: Poor offensive line play and turnovers held back the offense. It's ridiculous to have 600 yards and only 2 TDs.
WhiskeyTedfordFoxtrot: I'm not sure I love Goff anymore. I mean, I love him, but I'm not *in love* with him. You know? I guess what I'm saying is that Goff has been friendzoned. Still a rocking QB, but he's making some freshman mistakes -- he's gotta get the ball higher over the line and learn to get rid of it quicker. Receivers have some skills -- super impressed by Rogers and Harper.
Tupac Amaru Shakur: Picture Me Rollin' http://youtu.be/RH4GJTt4XsY
gumibears: Decent if Goff had time to throw otherwise he was overthrowing receivers cause of too much pressure. I say we never get into the red zone. If we do, just penalize ourselves until we are at least at the 30 yard line. One hold should do it. If the hold isnt caught by the ref, it better result in a touchdown. If it is caught, then you have a longer field to work with.
Oski Disciple: I look it and keep thinking what it will be in year not to mention two and three years. Right now its a work in progress. But what a work. Sometimes Goff looks like a freshman out there which is amazing because he IS a freshman and mostly looks quite polished. He's a major talent as are not one or two or three receivers but about six of them. None of whom are seniors. With more experience and a bigger better O Line...look out!
fuzzywuzzy: It seems like the 4th Quarter simply ain't ours, which goes along with the red zone. Goff and Co. were the best thing out there (except D'Amato) for the Bears, but he was off today; needs to get batter throwing on the run because he'll be doing a lot of it. That said, he made some nice plays that should have been sacks or incompletions. And at one point, our routes COMPLETELY fooled the defense. Surprised several snaps didn't result in fumbles or 20-yard losses, good job filling in for Adcock.

Bearly Legal: We're gonna get our QBs killed out there with shoddy protection and all those dropbacks.


Run Offense
slaphancock: O-line fail AND fumbles!
Pi-eater: I thought college football banned running the ball....2 fumbles in the WSU 5'yard line?! sorry but that's just terrible, unacceptable, and appalling.
CalBear91: Bigelow cannot be allowed to carry the ball again and we suck.
Tupac Amaru Shakur: Wonder Why They Call U? http://youtu.be/kgvMpm9z0TI
HelloBowlesHall: Bigs is still not impressing. His jukes aren't fooling many people, his spins are rare and ineffective, mostly he goes down on first decent contact, and he lost the football on the kick return. Lasco looked better but put the ball on the ground. Overall not much there there.
gumibears: I was going to comment, but I started fumbling my statement.
Oaklandishbear: How do we rack up 500+ yards in the air and only get 2 TDs? 'Cause we have no running game. OMG two fumbles inside the 10 is unforgivable. Start Coprich until BB and Lasco can go a whole week in practice working on ball protection. Oh yeah, and someone teach the O-Line to block.
the beer: Obviously poor blocking. Coprich ran hard. But dangit Bigelow. Simply can not hold the ball right now in congestion. Get him the ball outside on screens or wheel routes, but do not give him the ball inside or on kickoff returns. Time to turn the tailback position over to Lasco and Coprich. WHERE WAS GINGOLD?
Nasal Mucus Goldenbear: ... a piteous whimper...


Pass Defense
MJB: Felt bad for Lapite, who should have been pulled out much earlier. Also, there were so many instances of poor tackling, it's hard to keep track of them all.
sup_doe_library: Lapite is completely overmatched out there. The pass rush is still non-existent. At this point, we really should be blitzing aggressively because stopping the pass with our current soft zone philosophy and with the injuries to 75% of our starting secondary isn't working. Lee had a good game, and makes me wonder why he hasn't been playing more. Dozier came in and was an improvement. Walker is coming along nicely at FS. Drew practically invisible this game (did he even play?) The soft zone coverage is completely useless, LB's look especially lost at making reads. Nickerson in particular. Tackling is abysmal. Basic defensive fundamental breakdowns in pursuit, coverage, and every facet of the game.
BrooklynBear: What pass defense? Oh, you mean the play-by-penalty?
rollonyoubears111-warning: the following is not for the faint of heart or people who hate people who are just so negative:FIRE BUH!
CalBear91: Poor bastards. Did fine considering. Considering we suck.
Tupac Amaru Shakur: Life Goes On http://youtu.be/W69SSLfRJho
1988goldenbear: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wait, you are serious? I am not going to grill any one player, because it sure looked to me as if they are all busting their butts to play as well as they can. But when you are down to 2 starters out of 11, and guys 3 deep on the chart are playing meaningful minutes, bad things are usually going to happen. And not to take anything away from Halliday, we haven't seen a top tier QB run wild on us yet. Maybe next weekend - Hundley has something to prove after last year.


Run Defense
RhetoriCal: I've no idea how to grade this one. On the one hand, safety! On the other, Wassu doesn't run very often, nor very well (except, apparently, for touchdowns).
rollonyoubears111-warning: the following is not for the faint of heart or people who hate people who are just so negative:FIRE BUH NOW!
SoCal Oski: I declare this BUH!
Tupac Amaru Shakur: Keep Ya Head Up http://youtu.be/zBhm7GcEk6E
1988goldenbear: Wazzu has little or no run game. We did little or nothing to stop what they had. But because the pass defense gave up so many yards there was not much to gripe about either way.
Rose Bowl Oski: It doesn't matter how good your run defense is -- not very - when you give up 521 yards passing.


Special Teams
sup_doe_library: The lone bright spot on this team is the great play of D'amato and leninger. Coverages good on KO and P teams.
WhiskeyTedfordFoxtrot: Given that Leninger and D'Amato are our two most consistent players, I'd like to see us use them more. Go for field goals as soon as we cross the opponents 20 (regardless of down), since we tend to fail in the red zone. If we're backed up in our end zone, sneak a punt out before 4th down (line Leninger up in a deep shotgun as though he's Goff). ST also had much better tackles than the defense did -- Tommerdahl as DB coach?
rollonyoubears111-warning: the following is not for the faint of heart or people who hate people who are just so negative: Sure they can kick, but can they twerk?
Tupac Amaru Shakur: I Get Around http://youtu.be/YqJAnQTwmJs
ososdeoro: Don James once said that special teams are fully as important as offense and defense, and spent 1/3 of UW practices on them. I keep telling myself to believe him.

Coaching
slaphancock: They got a pass for the first few games because the competition was so high. Tonight there are questions about whether they should have these jobs.
texashaterforlife: For a scheme that is supposed to be simple so that only execution needs to be practiced, the players execution of tackling, holding onto the ball, and maintaining lane discipline sure sucks. And while injuries are a big deal this year, the coaching is just not showing itself.
sacman701: The coaches put the players in position to succeed, the players just aren't talented and/or experienced enough to pull it off. The knee-jerk criticism of Buh is getting ridiculous. The back 7 is almost entirely down to guys who shouldn't have to play at this point. How many of the guys we have available now would even start for Portland St? Even with the skeleton crew, the defense stopped WSU more often than not. The high tempo makes the defense look worse and the offense look better than they actually are. Both teams had 16 real possessions
Tupac Amaru Shakur: Changes http://youtu.be/eXvBjCO19QY
Oski P Beer: You can lose your job waiting for guys to live up to their youtube highlights. You play the "are's and is's" not the "could be's and should be's". Coprich is our bell cow. Yeah, the little guy. It's come to that. Time to wrap your big coaching brains around that fact.
VermontBear: With the way the team responded so well after the 2nd fumble, it seems the coaches had plenty of success to key on for building up 2nd Half confidence. The success at the end of the Half, did not carry over into the 2nd Half, WSU's 2nd Half adjustments on defense and offense were much better than Cal's. However, starting the second Half with Willis's injury could have hurt Cal's already fragile confidence and disrupted execution of the second half adjustments.

Overall Performance
RhetoriCal: Only that this game finally allowed me to understand Keats' "Ode to Melancholy":

She dwells with Beauty-Beauty that must die;
And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips
Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh,
Turning to poison while the bee-mouth sips:
Ay, in the very temple of Delight
Veil'd Melancholy has her sovran [sic] shrine,
the townie: wtf
TezCALipoca: Turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers, turnovers,
and besides that Defense.
BrooklynBear: Depressing lack of focus by team and coaches.
SoCal Oski: Even Sanchez declares this BUH!
Tupac Amaru Shakur: I Ain't Mad At Cha http://youtu.be/ywmNcVh7lsE
worstteamintheentireuniverse: we lost to WSU...we got smoked by WSU. We are now the laughing stock. The new verb is ...Cal"ing" it. the cougs kicked our asses and now should be relieved of the laughing stock title. that is now us.
Jacobs.: We are now the worst team in the pac 12. Sad sad times!
IthinkIamdonewiththisteam: not good. I am done. not attending any more games this year. not worth it.
Izalco72: Horrible. Terrible. Pitiful. Embarrassing. I was told to hold off passing judgment on the coaching staff until this game. Now that I am free to pass judgment, I'll say what I said after the first game. The coaching staff, particularly defensive coordinator Buh, has been an embarrassment. It's no coincidence there have been injuries. The players are not prepared, the system is a failure and players trying to compensate are getting hurt. Buh, at least, has to go. Dykes, who had no defense at Podunk State, needs to realize that if he wants to stay at Cal for more than a couple of years, he needs a competent DC. Otherwise, he needs to go and so does Sandy for hiring him.
CoBears: I am depressed. Do I have to watch any more this year? I almost felt embarrassed wearing my Cal gear yesterday. Tedford had me in pain; Dykes has me wondering if I need a prescription for the deep and lingering pain. [tears]
42Calbear: Let's not Polish this turd any longer. This is the worst defense in the 100+ years of California football. The Buh40 defense is a disgrace. Buh's defense gives all the opposition 40 points a game. Absolutely no fundamentals. Can't tackle,looked lost and are slow. Can someone explain why our defensive linemen never raise their arms to obstruct the opposing quarterback's view or knockdown a pass? Talent or no talent the defensive performance on the field should be much better. FIRE BUH NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Schmidttymcfunstuff : Is it basketball season yet?

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