I wuz live tweeting the Olympic opening ceremony on Friday night. Things seemed to go well, except for a few people getting upset about an Obama Kenya joke I made. I was just going hog wild and then halfway through I was all "Wait a second, Sandy Barbour and a variety of official Cal entities actually follow this feed. Should I tone it down or something?"

The answer was a resounding: "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS IN MY RATIONAL SELF-INTEREST, LET US DO THIS THING!"

And since I must slather myself in my own self-congratulations, I have gone through the tweets and picked out my favorite ones. Since it was on a Friday night, I am sure many of you didn't get the chance to see them. So, YOUR WELCOME!

Who wants to read our live tweets of an event twice shown already????Third time is the charm!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

If I make the same lame jokes you heard 8 hours ago, blame NBC and Stanford.Always blame Stanford

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Why did they bring in all these Abraham Lincoln cosplayers?He's American!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

As a chimney sweep fetishist, this opening ceremony really hits the spot!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Now the Lincoln cosplayers are racing.Who will be the fastest Lincoln?That's what the Olympics are all about!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

England honors johnny cash w a giant ring of fire!Always knew England loved country music

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Fingers crossed for opening ceremonies to mostly be clips from Love Actually!Hugh grant is so dreamy!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Are those the real royal corgis or corgi stunt doubles??

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Hey queen,GET IN DA CHOPPA!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Please tell me the queen is going to rappell from the chopper to the stadium!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Why didn't the corgis sky dive, too?Bo Obama woulda done it!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

What is god saving the queen from?

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

So many nurses, but none seem like the onesi saw in that movie I watched on cinemax at 2 am last night.

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

That voldemort looks like he is going to show up in an occupy wall street march

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Isn't it tough to sleep when your bed lights up?Kinda seems counter productive

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

This giant baby will haunt our dreams for the rest of our lives

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

I haven't seen a baby that big since Mack brown 2004 HIYO

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

As a berkeley hippy, that baby would go great in a giant baby and cheese sandwich!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Mr bean is playing synth keyboard, presumably for a queen cover band

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Do you think mr bean is a classically trained synth keyboardist?

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Danny Boyle: " ya the London symphony is ok, but you know what would make it better?A 90s comedy star!Is red dwarf available?"

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Is mr bean gonna race the Abraham Lincolns next?

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

The more I watch this opening ceremony, the more I realize china will dominate the world in the 21st century!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

This screams old people imagining how kids live today.I'm surprised they don't have then words rad and tubular superimposed entire time

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

The la galaxy paid david beckham 12 million dollars to drive that boat

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Greece can afford a flag????

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Do the australian athletes walk counter clockwise?

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Cayman islands come marching in.They appear to be marching w mitt romneys money

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Many of these countries I know only from house hunters international reruns

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

North Korea is up now. Kim Jong un is competing in all events and will win all gold medals.

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Former Yugoslav republic of Macedonia is the most awkward name since kraft fight hunger bowl

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Kenya up next.Keep an eye out for Obama.

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Angelina Jolie just adopted the entire Malawi Olympic team

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Mexico has a bring your own Olympic outfit policy appaterently

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Sweden is wearing UCLA colors!Did nobody tell their team they have to underperform now??

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Lame joke time:this Britain is OK but I don't know if I'd call it great hiyo

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

The queen seems wildly uninterested in her own olympic athletes

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Were the British uniforms designed for 70s Elvis??

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Paul McCartney looks younger than I remember

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

They shoulda gotten colin firth to play this Guy

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

I reaaly hope the queen uses the phrase "off with their head" here

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

The only thing that moved slower than all those people carrying the flag was david beckhams boat!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

When does King Joffrey show up??

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

Take that San Diego fireworks professionals!

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012

The north Korean delegation is enjoying this classic song written by Kim jong Il "hey Jude"

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) July 28, 2012