There come times in each person's life when life is a little too difficult to bear because of the actions of those around them. One of those moments happened to me yesterday as I walked into my kitchen. There I found my wife and daughter dancing and rapping along to the dulcet sounds of this "song". Yes boys and girls, that's the Wham Rap, a song that has a 99.7% chance of being the most stereotypically caucasian tune in the history of Western Civilization.
The sight of Mrs Fire Starkey gettin' down and funky to a George Michael creation was no surprise, I have always known of her unnatural proclivity for his music and looks. She has an a rather large box of memorabilia of George from his Wham and solo career days and he was her absolute favorite artist from her tween and teen years. My particular "favorite" from this box of posters, magazines and concert tickets is a vinyl picture disk of George and Andrew gazing soulfully towards you and I've always imagined that looking at that disc makes you ponder what level of hell you're on.
No, what bothered me was the fact that my sweet, beloved Little Miss Fire Starkey was participating in this horror. Not only was she rockin' out to this monstrosity but SHE KNEW ALL THE WORDS. This is... unacceptable. Despite the fact that we are approaching our 16th wedding anniversary, I think divorce is a real possibility at this point and I think the State of Texas would agree with my reasons.
I think you'll all agree with me and Marlon here.