Peru! Land of spirit and adventure! Why anyone would be frightened of this majestic country and its people is beyond my limited intellect but apparently our friend Fiatlux is absolutely terrified of going there. Why you ask? That is the great mystery before us. Let's examine the possibilities why.
1. Peru is a presidential representative democratic republic with a multi party system. What that means is they have a president! Obviously the lack of an oppresive dictator is the roadblock here. Fiatlux does not travel to countries that do not have power mad, morally bankrupt, bloodthirsty villians who pillage their people's wealth for personal gain.
Current President Ollanta Moisés Humala Tasso
2. Peru doesn't have good beaches apparantly and everyone knows that if Fiatlux doesn't have a good dictator to get a photo op with, he needs a good beach. Stupid Peru.
Punta Sal, just south of the Ecuadorian border, is probably his best bet.
3. Peru has too much historical and cultural heritage. Fiatlux despises culture and as far as he is concerned, history can suck it.
Who wants to look at stuff like this?
4. Peru has too many mountains. Who wants to trek through breathtaking scenery and visit one of the world's most unique and amazing places? Not Fiatlux.
Machu Picchu sucks, obvio
How did that get in there?
5. Most importantly, Peru doesn't have enough Starwood Hotels choices.
This place looks especially shitty.