They introduced Sonny D the other day and as I was listening to him talk in that moderate Texas twang that he has, I was struck by the fact that he seems kind of like a TV show football coach. On the show, he'd be the hard nosed coach who whips a rag tag group of seemingly uncontrollable wild spirits into a winning machine. Hopefully, in reality, he whips a bunch of excellent athletes into Rose Bowl champions!

Either way, he seemed like the kind of guy who used folksy sayings that made no sense. The sort of sayings that you have to think about 5 times, but they seem sort of brilliantly wise after all. And now I'll run through a brick wall because of them!

I have no reason to believe that he actually does and its fairly condescending of me to believe that based solely on his slight twang. But hey, we got like another 35 months until football season starts. LET THE CONTENT FILLER BEGIN!

So, I put that question out on the twitters. Got some solid responses:

SonnyD is prolly going to use lots of folksy downhome aphorisms that make no sense.Like "We whupped them harder than a mule in Kentucky"

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) December 7, 2012

What folksy downhome aphorisms that make no sense do YOU think @sonnydykes should use?

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs I offer my services at translating Confederacy to English. Am native speaker of at least one.

— Don Key (@scalawag) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs "We eat up with the dumb-ass" = "Our decision-making has been poor"

— Don Key (@scalawag) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs "That biggums is tits on a bo hog" = "The third tight end is superfluous to the formation"

— Don Key (@scalawag) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs "Buncha smartass flap-gums ov'air" = "Stanfurd sucks"

— Don Key (@scalawag) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs @sonnydykes He has to call one of his players "the straw that stirs the drink."

— Graham Watson (@Yahoo_Graham) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs "Most people in life are fixin' and finnin', fixin' to do this, finnin' to do that. We're gonna be doers!" My TX grandpa sayin

— alpha1906@gmail.com (@alpha1906) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs "The stanfurd band is more useless than chicken crap on a pump handle. An' that's bein' too nice to chicken crap."

— Davé! (@beardium) December 7, 2012

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose. "@goldenblogs: What folksy downhome aphorisms that make no sense do YOU think @sonnydykes should use?"

— Lester Lee (@llee) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs @sonnydykes I wouldn't mind a "Daggummit!" every now and then .

— Ben Gellis (@BenAtBerkeley) December 7, 2012

However, some of the readers were ALL OUT on it. But I can't be offensive to Twang-Americans. I have a friend who is Southern, so its OK. We met at the Cracker Barrel in Branson!

@goldenblogs Just cuz Sonny's Texan don't make him W. Dude's an X's and O's geek. He's not all that "folksy" - he's nerdy. Our kinda people.

— THE ADMIRAL (@THEADMIRAL6) December 7, 2012

@goldenblogs I'm not exactly sure this is appropriate?

— David E. Rodriguez (@DavidERod) December 7, 2012

Then, @daviderod, let us personally apologize to mules from Kentucky and Dan Rather who owns copyrights on most folsky downhome aphorisms.

— GoldenBlogs (@GoldenBlogs) December 7, 2012

But we also got some comments on the site, too. First, I posted the question in Avi's press conference recap post:

And we got some great responses there, too. YOU ARE ALL GREAT PEOPLE AND WE VALUE YOUR READERSHIP:

Favorite?

From Hoosiers, I think:

"You know, the sun don’t shine on the same dog’s ass every day, but Mister, you ain’t seen a ray of sunshine since you got here…"

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research."

by Auricursine on Dec 7, 2012 7:48 AM PST up reply actions

Another from Hoosiers

"There’s two kinds of dumb. A guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and a guy who does the same thing in my living room. First one don’t matter, the second one you’re kinda forced to deal with."

Stalwarts girded for the fray
CaliforniaGoldenBlogs/Twitter/Facebook/Clothing Store

by Ohio Bear on Dec 7, 2012 8:13 AM PST up reply actions

"Don’t worry about the horse being blind. Just load the wagon."

Stalwarts girded for the fray
CaliforniaGoldenBlogs/Twitter/Facebook/Clothing Store

by Ohio Bear on Dec 7, 2012 8:13 AM PST up reply actions

"Sebastian hit that receiver so hard, his ancestors felt it."

Stalwarts girded for the fray
CaliforniaGoldenBlogs/Twitter/Facebook/Clothing Store

by Ohio Bear on Dec 7, 2012 8:14 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs

I always like the gutteral harrumphs that Bruce Bochy makes.

"Not in your wildest alcoholic nightmare would you ever imagine such events unfolding!" -- Bill King, A's-Rangers

by carp on Dec 7, 2012 8:16 AM PST up reply actions

"Hodor"

-Hodor

Successful trolls bleed blue and gold

by Redonkulous Bear on Dec 7, 2012 8:51 AM PST up reply actions

A guy from rural Utah recently told me, "We’re like the dog chasing the care here. What are we gonna do if we catch it?"

by DelthaForce on Dec 7, 2012 9:02 AM PST up reply actions

Care or car??

by TrumanHugh on Dec 7, 2012 11:50 AM PST up reply actions

Mieneke Car Care Bowl

by Lynch's Golf Cart on Dec 7, 2012 11:52 AM PST up reply actions

"If a frog had pockets he'd carry a handgun."

Miss U Dan Rather

"Well, if that ain't a show, I'll kiss your ass." - Gov. Jim Folsom Sr. (D-AL), 1948-52

by VandyImport on Dec 7, 2012 10:07 AM PST up reply actions

Kentucky Hillbilly roots here. Mom always said this and

I never understood it:

He spends money like a goose shittin’ in the moonlight.

by C98 on Dec 7, 2012 10:45 AM PST up reply actions

geese only take dumps at night?

no bear, no care

by EchoOfSilence on Dec 7, 2012 11:08 AM PST up reply actions

Dunno. The only answer I ever got when I

asked was: "Huh. Think about it."

by C98 on Dec 7, 2012 11:24 AM PST up reply actions

Weeeell, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle

by fuzzywuzzy on Dec 7, 2012 11:35 AM PST up reply actions

Some really good creativity here, guys. I love it when the focus of this community is on creative output. It's organic, it's pure, it's great. Any more thoughts?