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What Horrific Thing Will Happen To Cal Tomorrow?

Well, this week has sucked. And it is barely half over! First, on Monday, UW poached our rising star in Tosh Lupoi. Then, on Tuesday, UW poached our generally well liked WR coach in Eric Kiaseu. Then, today, UW poached all of Richard Solomon's notes, homework, and test answers and he was declared academically ineligible.

Can nobody stop this league of super villains????

So, my question to you, dear readers, is what terrible, terrible thing will happen to Cal tomorrow? We're Cal, so there are really a lot of disastrous things that could happen! I feel like YHWH gets really creative with us when its time for the plagues and the locusts and the bla bla bla. So, vote in the poll and tell us in the comments, what thing won't we be able to unsee tomorrow?

Poll
Give it to me!
Jeff Tedford turns out to be of alien race bent on world domination
31 votes
Massive earthquake hits Memorial Stadium. Then, meteor hits Memorial Stadium ruins. Then, a fire breaks out in meteor crater where Memorial Stadium used to be
159 votes
Cal announces that due to budget cuts, it will have to cut 25 sports, Oski, and the Marching Band
87 votes
Tosh Lupoi wins Nobel Peace Prize for bringing peace to the Middle East
47 votes
Global Jumbaco shortage!!!!!!!!!
164 votes

488 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 74 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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The poll

We really need an option for: Oski is arrested for pedophilia.

But seriously three plausible horrific events:

1) Gutierrez and Harper Kamp collide chasing down a rebound resulting in two season ending injuries.
2) The Memorial Stadium Renovation hits a snag and will not be ready for use until November (after the Big Game)
3) The NCAA gives Cal a formal letter of investigation regarding Will Lyles

by chowder on Jan 18, 2012 11:46 PM PST reply actions  

We must be of roughly the same vintage, because those were all from my undergrad years. I still remember waking up from a nap during the fire and it was so dark from the ash I thought, WTF, did I sleep for 9 hours?

by Reef on Jan 18, 2012 11:51 PM PST up reply actions  

And nobody has stabbed and murdered anyone in Eshleman Hall.

All of these happened during my years on campus — truly an unusual string of bizarre, crazy events.

by daveman on Jan 18, 2012 11:55 PM PST up reply actions  

That one was never solved, IIRC. Scary to think that the murderer is walking around somewhere.

by Reef on Jan 18, 2012 11:57 PM PST up reply actions  

Or maybe the murderer is a paraplegic, and is wheeling around somewhere. Sometimes it’s the people you least expect….

"i, for one, welcome our new atomic overlords" - GoldBlooded

by atomsareenough on Jan 19, 2012 9:42 AM PST up reply actions  

Unusual events? How soon they forget!

One student is shot to death during a protest at People’s Park and another is blinded. Ronald Reagan comes back from the dead and places Berkeley under marshal law. The National Guard lines up in Sather Gate with guns drawn and bayonets at the ready. Thousands of students in Sproul Plaza are tear gassed. Telegraph Avenue becomes a virtual war zone.

CGB: The Strangest Blog

by CalBear81 on Jan 19, 2012 12:02 AM PST up reply actions  

If it’s a bloodbath, so be it.

"Let me tell you a story. I was a political prisoner for two years. The instant I was released I ran to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a Coke.

It was fantastic."
-Toyama Koichi, US Presidential candidate from Japan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGZqOkeYbB0

by AERose on Jan 19, 2012 7:47 AM PST via Android app up reply actions  

Gee … the worst thing I can remember from my days was the horriffic Bibi Lee thing.

Still makes me feel sick to my stomach.

Being an Old Blue means embracing the "meh".

by SoCal Oski on Jan 19, 2012 8:27 AM PST up reply actions  

I love this so much. What is it from?

"i, for one, welcome our new atomic overlords" - GoldBlooded

by atomsareenough on Jan 19, 2012 9:43 AM PST up reply actions  

I clearly remember watching this film in a screenplay class, just can’t remember the title for the life of me LOL

by mrjpark on Jan 19, 2012 10:11 AM PST up reply actions  

Earthquake destroys New Memorial and SAHPC

Cal is forced to play next season in a baseball park once again.

by SDBear on Jan 18, 2012 11:49 PM PST via mobile reply actions  

Cal is unable to use Baseball stadium

Cal plays their games at Golden Gates Fields.

by chowder on Jan 18, 2012 11:52 PM PST up reply actions  

Golden Gate Fields sinks into bay

Cal is forced to relocate to Oklahoma City.

by minesweeper on Jan 18, 2012 11:59 PM PST up reply actions  

No need for panic. We’ll let ’em use Raley Field.

CGB: The Strangest Blog

by CalBear81 on Jan 19, 2012 12:03 AM PST up reply actions  

Welcome to California?

by mrjpark on Jan 19, 2012 10:11 AM PST up reply actions  

but Oakland A’s has Billy Beane and a movie made about them, I don’t think The Descendants is about Cal football

by LEastCoastBears on Jan 19, 2012 12:31 AM PST up reply actions  

But wasn’t that Freddie Prince Jr. movie about Cal football?

"Remember the Maine! TO HELL WITH STANFORD!"

by CruzinBears on Jan 19, 2012 8:02 AM PST up reply actions  

Boys and Girls?

The one where his girlfriend cheated on him in a long distance relationship? Guess which school his girlfriend went to in the movie…Washington, of course.

by LEastCoastBears on Jan 19, 2012 10:10 AM PST up reply actions  

SOPA / PIPA is enacted into law

CGB is the first website shut down.

CGB: The Strangest Blog

by CalBear81 on Jan 18, 2012 11:51 PM PST reply actions  

Coincidentally, Bay Area work production increases 100000000000000000%

"Fuck DOOOOOM. We prefer BOOOOOM!!
- alpha1906

by golden oso on Jan 19, 2012 12:03 AM PST up reply actions  

The innovation from such work leads the California economy out of its dept

New tree sitters move in stalling the construction of a New New Memorial. With the economy on the rebound, this allows UCLA to upgrade all their facilities and increase their football coaches salaries.

UCLA hires To$h Lupoi from UW to take over for Jim Mora Jr after he joins his dads staff in the NFL. Mora Sr finally leads the Colts not only to the PLAYOFFS! but a Super Bowl with All Pro Andrew Luck at QB.

To$h takes all of UWs recruits and their entire coaching staff with him to UCLA, manages to convince Sark to join him as uclas OC, he leads an a star coaching staff to 8 consecutive Pac12 championships while at UCLA.

Cal is still waiting for the tree sitters to leave…

by SDBear on Jan 19, 2012 12:30 AM PST via mobile up reply actions  

Are they at least going to add nice new bathrooms on the east side of New New Memorial once they get the tree sitters down? Please??

www.LosAngelesRams.org

CALIFORNIA ANGELS . . . ANAHEIM DUCKS . . . CALIFORNIA GOLDEN BEARS
1920 • 1921 • 1922 • 1923 • 1937 • 1947 • 1951 • 1957 • 1959 • 2002 • 2007

by AndyHogan14 on Jan 19, 2012 1:03 AM PST up reply actions  

Nah.

You forgot about Reddit.

BUT SOPA/PIPA DIDNT LOLLLL

Bay Area work production increases infinity %

by mrjpark on Jan 19, 2012 10:12 AM PST up reply actions  

We announce our new d-line coach

He looks so familiar…where have we seen him before?

"Some people watch adult videos on their computer - I go to YouTube and watch Jahvid Best highlight clips. That’s what gets me going."- Jim Schwartz, Detroit Lions head coach
California Golden Blogs

by Berkelium97 on Jan 18, 2012 11:52 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

If Tedford is an alien bent on world domination

Can he start with dominating the Pac12 in the form of a few conference titles and destroying UW before he moves on to the rest of the world?

by SDBear on Jan 18, 2012 11:54 PM PST via mobile reply actions  

Tedford and Barbour resign.

Steve Marshall is hired as Cal’s new head coach. Tom Holmoe takes over as AD.

CGB: The Strangest Blog

by CalBear81 on Jan 18, 2012 11:55 PM PST reply actions  

University of California introduces Steve Marshall as DL Coach.

Tedford: “Steve is a tremendous coach. He has worked with us in the past, and he knows exactly what we do here. There has been a few new coaches since he Steve coached here at Cal, but many of them have common NFL background, and we can work together from day 1.”

by JustBear on Jan 18, 2012 11:57 PM PST reply actions  

Tedford: “Steve is a tremendous coach. He’s worked with us in the past, and he knows exactly what we do here. Through his previous work as our offensive line coach, Steve was masterful in creating outstanding opposing defensive line play, and we think that will translate well in his new role. We’re lucky to have him back.”

Lawrence Ross

by alpha1906 on Jan 19, 2012 8:51 AM PST up reply actions  

Jack Clark leaves Cal for 80,000% pay raise at UW and says, “29 years is nothing, Husky Rugby is going to dominate for the next 40 years.”

by daveman on Jan 18, 2012 11:58 PM PST reply actions  

Barbour and Tedford fired. Bob Bockrath named Athletic Director and hires Buddy Teevens as football coach.

Bockrath: “Having already served as Cal’s Athletic Director before, I know what this place is all about, which is why I’m happy to introduce Buddy Teevens as our new head football coach. Buddy has already coached in the old Pac-10 and is familiar with the teams, coaches and schemes. We think he’s a perfect fit and will take Cal Football to the next level.”

by daveman on Jan 19, 2012 12:03 AM PST reply actions  

hueg picture is hueg

some people like to check the comment threads from their smartphones, you know.

"Let me tell you a story. I was a political prisoner for two years. The instant I was released I ran to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a Coke.

It was fantastic."
-Toyama Koichi, US Presidential candidate from Japan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGZqOkeYbB0

by AERose on Jan 19, 2012 2:22 PM PST up reply actions  

KA21 and Moala transfer to u-dub where

Keenan wins the Heisman his first year playing after sitting out a year and getting bigger/stronger/faster and comes back for his senior season just to punish Cal and to set an example for all of the newly-designated-category-just-for-him 6-star recruits Tosh is bringing in.

by C98 on Jan 19, 2012 12:17 AM PST reply actions  

Where’s the poll option for “Get our asses handed to us in Hec Ed as usual”?

I can’t believe I’m really gonna drag my butt out in the snow to watch that game tomorrow. I wonder if they’ll heckle the Cal fans about stealing half our coaching staff? That’d be so classy typical.

by bigdruid on Jan 19, 2012 12:18 AM PST reply actions  

This is the worst so far!

In the Game of Trolls, you either troll or you die.
CaliforniaGoldenBlogs: Read It | Follow It | Like It | Wear It

by TwistNHook on Jan 19, 2012 7:13 AM PST up reply actions  

Tom Holmoe returns as Head Coach of the Golden Bears

Jeff Tedford to take over Monte Vista Mustangs football program

by solarise on Jan 19, 2012 12:27 AM PST reply actions  

Shaq and Payton Commit to UW…… thatll be DOOOM

http://www.youtube.com/user/HANDSOMElifeOFswing - Cal Football Highlights+ More Bay area sports

by 4Ever Golden on Jan 19, 2012 1:13 AM PST reply actions  

Please don't cap off the week by losing to UW tomorrow in BBall

Around these parts, a man could get hurt for wearing purple.

by PullManiac on Jan 19, 2012 1:16 AM PST reply actions  

None of these are a metaphysical crisis

Cal hires 2 new assistant coaches who reassure the recruits. After a year of everyone getting used to one another, losing only to SC, Cal starts to prepare for the 2013 season as USC enters the dark side of the moon from scholarship reductions and Oregon gets battered by the NCAA. Cal then goes on a five year rampage through the PAC 12, winning 4 consecutive Rose Bowls and starting on a national championship run. By this point, Cal alumni are in complete disarray because their whole outlook on sports and dooooooooooom culture is in tatters. Cal gets to the MNC game, and then loses to Texas in Mack Brown’s farewell game. And deep down, Cal alumni don’t mind, because it’s back to business as usual.

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea"

by DC Trojan on Jan 19, 2012 4:00 AM PST reply actions  

I would always mind losing to Mack Brown.

"i, for one, welcome our new atomic overlords" - GoldBlooded

by atomsareenough on Jan 19, 2012 10:00 AM PST up reply actions  

rec’d

FUTBALL IZ SRS BUSINESS GUYZ // ONLY HAVE FUN WHEN ROZ BWL
--Thoroughbred

by sec119 on Jan 19, 2012 11:46 AM PST up reply actions  

At this point I’m honestly no longer concerned about whether he ends up at furd, SC, or any other school. It’s gone beyond that.

Being an Old Blue means embracing the "meh".

by SoCal Oski on Jan 19, 2012 11:58 AM PST up reply actions  

should all 500 of us write a doom front page post

No, few of you have the editing privileges to do that. Couldn’t pull it off.

In the Game of Trolls, you either troll or you die.
CaliforniaGoldenBlogs: Read It | Follow It | Like It | Wear It

by TwistNHook on Jan 19, 2012 9:38 AM PST up reply actions  

But this doesn’t intrigue you in the slightest? Do you want to give 500 us of temporary access?

by mrjpark on Jan 19, 2012 10:15 AM PST up reply actions  

why did you write this??

KEEP CALM
AND
Z ON

by Spazzy Mcgee on Jan 19, 2012 10:19 AM PST up reply actions  

The nerve of some people to dare question Cal’s DOOM! It’s like this guy has met the President of Senegal or something…

Inspiring and completing since1997 since2010!

by Fire Starkey on Jan 19, 2012 11:50 AM PST up reply actions  

I’m not really counting on that president of senegal thing to get me much in life… now had iit been a nigerian prince….

by fiatlux on Jan 19, 2012 8:41 PM PST via mobile up reply actions  

Great hires...

Apparently only come around every three years or so. We hit our peak last season, so we’re on the cooling trend again.

the next worst thing to happen would be Ron Gould getting poached by USC.

Then the massive earthquake…and the cloning of dumpster muffin by a U-Wub grad student.

by fuzzywuzzy on Jan 19, 2012 11:38 AM PST reply actions  

Well, THE WORST thing would be Gould getting poached by UW, giving the a Rose Bowl with our coaching staff, and then moving on to Furd the next year.

by mrjpark on Jan 19, 2012 12:33 PM PST up reply actions  

booooooooooooooooooooo

"i, for one, welcome our new atomic overlords" - GoldBlooded

by atomsareenough on Jan 20, 2012 2:56 PM PST up reply actions  

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