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1.13.12 DBD 10 Reasons Why Joe Starkey Rules the World

I was lying in bed the other night pondering the vagaries of life. "Life" I asked myself, "how can I have lost that bet?"

"Fire Starkey, you were cheated out of victory by that wretched intern." Life responded, "You won that bet at least 6 times. He tried to cheat you out of becoming CGB’s #1 Indian but after you thwarted his diabolical plans with proof of your Casino bloodline from 7 generations back, he had to get back at you this way."

"True story, Life, true story" and so because of this crap, we have the following list the "Top 10 reasons Joe Starkey is awesome" (or some shit- I don’t remember the exact wording but its close enough).

Number 10

When you search for "Joe Starkey, Cal radio, images" on Google, this popped up. So he has that going for him.

C4435182c0657e5e395ca813ef55c13e_medium

via holdmyticket.com

Number 9

A recently uncovered audio tape was discovered with an odd conversation between Joe and Lee Grosscup. Apparently Joe and Lee troll the bars of San Francisco and when they see a potential hookup, they record the action. Here’s a written transcript from one fateful August evening:

Joe: Well, it’s a fine evening here in the City. Marco, our favorite bartender at Fuse, gave us a call that a bunch of his boys were on the prowl tonight and are heading over to Element.

Lee: Joe, I think this evening has tremendous potential. Why, I remember back in ’48 after a game where I used the "Utah pass", they call that the shovel pass these days but I invented it back in my college days, some of my teammates and I went squirrel hunting. It was a great time.

Joe: That’s great, Lee. I think I see our protagonists, Marco said it was 3 Indian guys but the leader is clearly Mexican. Check that, maybe not.

Lee: Joe, it’s important to remember that Mexicans use a lot of cheese in their cuisine.

Joe: The guy is checking out what appears to be a New Delhi 8.3. He’s made his SELECTIONNNNNNNN… Lee, can you explain what a New Delhi 8.3 is?

Lee: Joe, I have no idea. Did you know that my nickname is The Cupper?

Joe: Well, it looks like there are drinks stacking… THERE’S A FIRE! NEW DELHI 8.3! WHAT A BONANZA!

Lee: Joe, I’d qualify that as a…big…play. Coach Tedford defines a big play as a run of more than 15 yards and a pass of more than 20 yards. A burning Indian woman surely qualifies in there somewhere.

Joe: And with that we have to wrap it up. Final score, Fire 1 Mexican/Indian guy nothing!

Number 8

Also on the same search as number 10, this came up. YeaaaaaaHHHHHHH JOE! 54_medium

via thisisluckyme.com

Number 7

Joe is most definitely not Guy Fieri

Guyfieri-web_medium

via static-l3.blogcritics.org

Number 6

It cannot be said the man doesn’t have a sense of style.

Nolanstarkey--nfl_large_580_1000_medium

via prod.static.49ers.clubs.nfl.com

Number 5

Handsome devil

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via grfx.cstv.com

Number 4

According to Wikipedia, Joe briefly played football at Thornton Junior College! No idea where the fuck that is but hey, Joe Starkey, gridiron legend! Also per Wikipedia, his career was spent with the 49ers, apparently Cal wasn’t important enough to get its own section or mention that he called The Play.

Number 3

A different Joe with a message to boomtho.

Joepaterno_medium

via www.messengerpuppet.com

Number 2

Something called the Starkey Remix is on this album. No doubt Joe contributed. Icons_medium

via ghettofunk.co.uk

Number 1

I still get goose bumps every time I hear it

Be nice. You can find the original CGB team at WriteForCalifornia.com.

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