A Drunken Interview with Ernest Owusu

My girlfriend convinced me to skip my usual Saturday round of golf (Rory for President! Wait, he’s N. Irish, right? Rory for Green Card!) to spend our beautiful and sunny day drinking in the city. If you haven’t checked out the Jersey Shore, er uh, I mean North Beach Festival, it’s definitely worth it once in your life. I think there are a few artists booths and tents with fried things doused in powdered sugar, but from what I could tell from my astute people watching skills, people were there to drink. I ended up meeting up with the Situation, Ronny and the brosefs at the Italian Athletic Club on Stockton right across from Washington Square Park. The beats were flowin’ and every bro in this joint was flexin’ their arms fist pumping like there is no tomorrow. I check out the balcony to find a very imposing man with the biggest arms and chest in the place (an admirably feat if you had seen these meathead bros) decked out in security guard gear with a Cal lanyard hanging out of his pocket. I ask him if he goes to Cal and quickly find out that he not only does, but he plays football! He says his name is Ernest, and being the CGB nerd that I am, I quickly light up and ask “Ernest OWUSU!?” He laughs and is readably flattered that I know who he is. I instantly put my newspaper reporter hat on and tried my best to ask stuff I really wanted to hear about (I may or may not have been drunk and my questions/his answers are in no way word-for-word correct, but I definitely remember the gist of things.)

ASTQ: What makes Lupoi “the man”?

EO: He’s just so cool and down to earth. He relates well with the other d-lineman because he has been there, and knows what he’s talking about. The guys really believe in him.

ASTQ: Is he ready to take over as defensive coordinator when Pendergast inevitably bounces for the NFL?

EO: (without hesitation) Oh, definitely. I think he’ll be able to do that.

ASTQ: I’m a diehard KC Chiefs fans and I witnessed some nasty years with Pendergast as DC

EO: (laughs) gotta have players bro

ASTQ: So are you ready to make that leap to be the next great Cal DE?

EO: I think so. I’ve been fortunate to learn from some great players. I think we have a great group this year and will surprise some people.

ASTQ: Who will have a greater NFL career, Cameron Jordan or Tyson Alualu?

EO: (thought for a minute) Tyson, he’s just so consistent. No knock on Cameron whatsoever, because he’s a beast, but Tyson will last years no doubt in my mind.

ASTQ: Is Cameron really as nutty as the media makes him out to be?

EO: He’s probably 10 times crazier than what you see on tv or read on the internet. He’s the wackiest guy I know and I’m definitely going to miss having him around.

ASTQ: So who are the real leaders on defense?

EO: (I’m pretty sure he pointed to himself, or started by saying “me” quietly) Holt, Kendricks, Cattouse

ASTQ: So you think we’ll be good this year?

EO: Oh yes. We’re all working very hard right now and are excited for the Fall.

ASTQ: What’s the deal with Maynard?

EO: He’s fast and we believe in him. I think he’ll definitely turn some heads.

ASTQ: How fast? Can you catch him running to the sideline?

EO: (laughs) Nah, I don’t think so.

ASTQ: Pretty crazy for Tedford to call out his guy this early? What’s up with that?

EO: Yeah, Tedford wanted to name his guy and give him the confidence to build all Summer and Fall. We’re all very excited to get the ball rollin’.

At this point I may or may not have poured half a beer on my foot and my girlfriend was eyeballin’ me to stop pestering the football player, so I decided to make my exit.

ASTQ: Well it’s been real, man. I’m a huge fan and I’ll be there at every home game. Great meeting you.  

EO: Thanks. Go Bears.