DBD 3.4.11 In Defense of Twist (edited)

Lots of polls featuring some variant of "Punch Twist in the face." Why so violent, people? I am compelled to remind you of how good we have it with our Marshawnthusiast fearless leader rodeo clown

1. You can always count on him for valuable yet gratis legal advice. For example, "Don't look in the yellow pages for an immigration lawyer." At $990 an hour - that's almost a grand, folks, and you just saved it for 1.4 cardigans!

2. He sows his lunatic seed across SBNation with usually hilarious results.

At first I was like...


Then I was like…


Then I was all…


Great post. This thread has convinced me that I want into the Pac-whatever

^^^ Actual, and presumably typical, comment from Twist's fan in Texas.

3. He is very slow to take offense. This is something I seriously admire- the way he doesn't seem to mind what people say about him. What a confident guy! Also, since I tend to be a pretty blunt person, I don't have to worry too much about hurting his feelings or, you know, observing social rules of politeness.

e.g. Twist is a little overwhelming during football games, because he never ever stops talking. I have no qualms saying "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY PLEASE SHUT UP" or moving to another bleacher, because I know (a) I won't hurt his feelings and (b) he'll probably follow me at some point to loudly decry the desertion.

4. Dude's outfits are genuinely spectacular, in the "creates a spectacle" application of that word. Let us applaud his creativity; also, free entertainment is free (see #1: quality is overrated!).

5. No other CGB commenter - or, for that matter, Internet user anywhere, period - says things like:

Hey! I’m the world’s last, greatest castrato!

President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!

by TwistNHook on Oct 5, 2009 8:02 AM PDT

In conclusion-

I hope I have convinced you to reconsider rearranging Twist's classically handsome features. By the way, I'm not alone in this assessment of his physical allure. One of my good friends asked him out once. Of course, (a) she was a silly freshman and (b) she did not ask for a second date and (c) we have never let her live it down.

Edit: it was brought to my attention - several hours and hundreds of comments ago - that I mixed up two different guys, and unfairly impugned Twist's dateability. I apologize and plead VINTAGE. Team Twist FTW!

Oh, forgot #6. Twist was in the band. Cal Band Great. QED.

The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.

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