I'm sorry to say that the Marshawnthusiasts have had to ban TwistNHook.
Before I get into details, let me briefly explain.
We here at the CGB have strict rules to abide by. Very strict rules. Such as, no NSFW pictures in the DBD unless they are properly linked to (no picture!) and are properly labeled with the acronym "NSFW" so that people don't accidentally click on it thinking it's a safe link.
We also have other rules, like no politics.
We also have a rule where you can't ask what exactly is "politics" because... that in itself is politics. So we'll ban you for that.
We also have a rule that there is no double dipping chips at the CGB tailgates.
As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, we have some very strict rules here. The internet is a very serious business.
Unfortunately for TwistNHook, he has violated one of the most sacred rules here on CGB.
That rule is:
Always spell Stanfurd with a "u" instead of an "o".
TwistNHook, as CGB's Blogfather, has from the very start failed to abide by this rule. This blog has been in existence for approximately four years.
I've told him many times that he must abide by that rule or face the consequences.
He has told me many times that he will not because he never "felt the need" to spell it that way.
In his latest post, he misspelled Stanfurd 8 times. 8 times!!! Below are a few examples of TwistNHook's crimes.
A phlanx of yellow shirted guards took their positions at the goal post. In the past 7 years, when Cal lost, there had been occasions of Cal fans rushing the field and rioting. One year, they attacked the Stanford Tree and tore it to bits. Another year, they tore the *Stanford* goalposts up. Another year, they attempted to rush the field, but were met by a veritable SWAT team of police, who held the angry Cal students at bay.
It was definitely a unique game at Cal and one that is unlikely to be repeated (mostly, because I hope we never, yknow, lose 7 years to Stanford again). It was for all the years of students who never saw the Axe in Berkeley. It was for all the fans, who had suffered through the 2000 Big Game, a really rough OT loss to Stanford. Sure, to the objective observer it was probably just a boring 30-7 victory of one mediocre team over another mediocre team. But that day in November 2002, there were no objective observers in Memorial Stadium.
So, TwistNHook, didn''t feel the need to spell Stanfurd with a "u"? Well, you know what? I feel the need to ban him. So I did.
TwistNHook has been banned from the CGB. He's not coming back folks. Rejoice. Our inane leader is gone. For good.
And for those of you who don't believe me -- that I really banned him. Here's a screen-shot of the proof (click on the picture below for a larger version):
Btw, we're totes accepting applications for the latest Marshawnthusiast opening and "BlogFather" position. Apply within. But we're also going to need your credit card number, as well as full name and social security number. Email that information to the official goldenblogs email address, please. Thanks!
Phil Steele Summary
So I got my copy of Phil Steel's magazine. i can't tell you all the juicy tidbits otherwise he might sue us, but I'll point a few things out:
Kevin Riley #19 QB
Shane Vereen #23 RB
Marvin Jones #64 WR
Anthony Miller #13 TE
Chris Guarnero #33 C
Matt Summers Gavin #34 OG
Mitchell Swartz #53 OT
Cameron Jordan #16 DE
Derrick Hill #45 DT
Mike Mohammed #4 ILB
Mychal Kendricks #46 OLB
Bryan Anger #4 P
Jeremy Ross #5 PR
Sean Cattouse #20 SS
Steele predicts Cal finishing in the top 1/2 of the conference
101 votes total
The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.