It was a seemingly normal day at the workplace of CALumbus Bear and yours truly. In my office, I was monitoring the DBD while working on a masterpiece of legal writing that would surely sway the court of appeals. Just a few steps away in his office, CALumbus Bear was diligently reserving rights, merging and acquiring, drafting license agreements that no one reads before clicking "I AGREE," ordering scotch by mail order, or whatever it is he does in his practice. Yes, a normal day. But it was also a beautiful day for a Cal intervention.
During a lull in the day, CALumbus Bear wandered over to my office to shoot the breeze. After we exhausted such topics as the day's DBD, how we ever got roped into being on the "Hit Squad," and which Wonder Twin power was our favorite, I relayed a story from the previous weekend. In the parking lot of my local grocery store, I noticed a car with a script "Cal" sticker on the back window. Well, sort of.
Some soulless, sad excuse of a human being Someone had tried to rip the Cal decal off, but had not been successful. About one-fourth of the sticker was gone, but it was unmistakable that it was the Cal logo. Any sight of a Cal logo is rare in these parts (i.e., Ohio), especially when the car has an Ohio license plate. So the sight was noteworthy.
CALumbus Bear asked innocently what kind of car it was. I reported that it was an older model American car, kind of a jalopy by our standards. We speculated that it was an old car that was bought used, owned by an Old Blue long ago, the sticker placed on the vehicle sometime during the Holmoe era.
CALumbus Bear voiced the opinion that it was just as well that the sticker was partly torn away. He thought it was a shame that the alma mater's venerable logo would be on such an unworthy automobile.
After a pause, he segued to the intervention.
"You have Cal stuff on your car, don't you?" CALumbus Bear asked, seemingly innocuously.
"Oh yeah," I replied. "I have the script Cal on my back window.
"And I have the Cal Alumni Association sticker, too, on one of my passenger windows."
By the look on his face, I knew that CALumbus Bear was about to say something he didn't necessarily want to say, but something that he felt he had to say.
"You know," he said solemnly, "I think it's a crying shame that you have the Cal logo on your car. Really, it's an abomination. Your car is not worthy of the Cal logo. "
It was an awkward silence. I thought about my car. I drive an early 2000's model Honda sedan. I have had the car for a long time. It's a reliable car and has more than 124,000 miles on it.
"So you're saying I should take the Cal stuff off it?" I asked CALumbus Bear.
"I really think that would be best," CALumbus Bear replied. "I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time. I just didn't know how to say it."
CALumbus Bear suggested that I move the Cal decals to Mrs. Ohio Bear's car, a later 2000's model year SUV that CALumbus Bear deemed acceptable for the Cal logo. I said that I would consider it.
"I'm glad we had this talk," CALumbus Bear said before going back to his office to reserve some rights.
It's been a couple of weeks since this conversation. I still have the Cal decals on my car. I just can't let go.
What about your ride? Does it have Cal decals, a Cal license plate frame, or a Cal vanity plate? Or all of the above? Would CALumbus Bear deem your car worthy of Cal identification? Do tell.