FanPost

Boldly going where no conference has gone before... PAC-10, The Next Generation. Part One.

The college football universe is one of alliances and power struggles.  Realignment and shifts of power are being talked about furiously and with great implications on the landscape for all schools and athletes.  We join Captain Larry Scott on his mission to form an alliance between his own United Federation of Ten Pacific Universities and  members of the Big Twelve Empire: Texas, Colorado, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, and Oklahoma State

 

Captain Larry ScottCaptain`s log, Stardate 63897.7.  The United Federation of  Ten Pacific Universities has been involved in negotiations with the Big Twelve empire to secure an alliance between the two.  I have been given the authority to negotiate and deal with the empire, barring any disastrous developments.  Myself and the crew of the USS PAC-8 are on course to rendezvous with a Big 12 envoy ferrying six delegates of the empire wishing to defect and engage in diplomacy leading to their eventual acceptance into the Federation..

<Scene>:  The USS PAC-8 comes within scanning range of the Big 12 starship Big 12 South, on the border of the college football space neutral zone.  The Crew of the PAC-8 are all anxious and eager to confirm suspicions that an alliance is finally at hand.

Scott:  Ensign Washington, full stop.

Washington:  Aye, sir.  Full stop answered.

Scott:  Open hailing frequencies.

Oregon:  Hailing frequencies open, sir.  You are clear to communicate.

Scott:  I am Larry Scott, Captain of the Federation starship PAC-8.  We are both humbled and excited to begin these negotiations with you and your comrades.

<On the view screen appears a large burnt orange form, with a large horn spread and a very illustrious air>

Texas:  Greetings, Captain Scott.  Your past dealings with the Big Ten are widespread and acknowledged by us as corageous.  I am DeLoss Dodds, Leader of the proud people of the University of Texas.  You may refer to me as Texas itself.

Scott:  Delighted, Texas.  I`m sure that the Federation`s negotiations with your people and those of your allies has been strenuous, but quite positive and beneficial.

Texas:  Indeed they have.  As i`m sure you`re aware, Captain, myself and the delegates aboard the Big 12 South are looking for an alliance with a conference which will offer us both financial windfall and strength. 

Scott:  We are indeed that, Texas.  We are willing to welcome you and your five compatriots with open arms and an open wallet.  All we require is an oath to form our own telecommunications network.  What we propose is that your people and those of the five with you will join two of our youngest members to occupy and protect the southwest quadrant, while those of us aboard the PAC-8 will protect the pacific quadrant.  Namely, your base in the Austin system will be an auspicious stronghold for the conference.

Texas:  Your plan is quite appealing to us Captain.  Being Texans, our first desire was to control our own empire, independently, with our own telecommunications network.  It seems that the college football universe is a different place now.  Few races can exist and support themselves, such as the Irish.  But even Notre Dame faces assimilation at every turn...  Even our own alliance members Missouri and Nebraska are days away from assimilation.

<the viewscreen goes static for a moment, then reappears with a small being, having a strange face, large imposing ears, and buck-teeth>

Sentient Being:  This will not do!  This is not profitable for us!

Scott:  What is this?!  Put them both on screen!

<split screen viewer with both Texas and the awkward, ugly being>

Texas:  Captain Scott, this is Kenneth Starr, yes, that Kenneth Star, leader of the Baylor people.  A private school, and a thorn in all of our sides.

Scott:  We know all about private schools, Texas, which is why ensign Stanfurd was thrown in the brig before the onset of this mission.

Baylor:  This deal is not profitable to my people!  I will take this to the highest council possible!  We demand inclusion in place of those liberal fools at Colorado!  This deal will not happen without us... we will see to it.

Scott:  Texas, I request a recess for a moment to talk this over with my crew.

Texas:  We can wait, Scott.

Scott:  <motions at Oregon to cut communications>  Alright people, what do we know about this Baylor?

California:  Sir, the Baylor people chartered the school in the Waco system of the Texas galaxy in stardate...

Scott:  Mr. California, just their business tendencies relevant to the situation please...

California:  <cocks head to side>  Aye, sir.  Baylor tends to be weak in all aspects from sports to finances.  They gravitate toward "riding the coattails" of larger schools, if I may use an archaic term.  It seems that they have precedent in holding back schools in their native Texas galaxy for their own personal gain, as they did in stardate 49519, and will be using the same tactic here, only with less gubernatorial power.

Oregon:  Captain, I stress the importance of Conference security...

Scott:  As do I, commander Oregon.  Number one, what`s your take on all of this?

USC:  Well, they seem to be quite adamant about getting into the Federation, but I do think they lack the political clout to make it happen.  I think we wanted Texas and Colorado, Oklahoma and Oklahoma state, Texas A&M and Tech, and I think that`s what our deal should be.

Scott:  Agreed, I see no benefit to adding another judgmental, pompous school with no concept of reality to the conference.  We already have you here, USC.

USC:  I beg your pardon, sir.

Scott:  It was a joke, USC.  You may have earned the right to be arrogant in our football division, but you know your affiliation with us is just as beneficial to us as it is to you.   We do appreciate everything you do for us.

UCLA:  Captain, i`m sensing a lot of hostility and fear from Baylor.  I think that they`re hiding something, more than likely their inability to actually push through the threat they offer.

Washington:  I agree with councilor UCLA, captain, they could be all like...

Scott:  Acting ensign Washington, you will speak only when spoken to, understood?  This insubordination...

Oregon:  Captain, the Big 12 ship is being probed.

USC:  What is the source of the probe?

Oregon:  A ship.  It is on an intercept course.

Scott:  Onscreen.

<the viewscreen shows the vast emptiness of  space, with a small dot slowly moving in the distance>

Scott:  Magnified.

<the same image appears, closer.  The ship is completely visible now, an imposing cube constructed of high grade metals in midwestern fashion>

USC:  Full scan.

Scott:  Go to yellow alert.

Oregon:  Going to yellow alert.

USC: Keep the shields down, we don`t want to appear provocative.

Oregon:  Aye, sir.  Captain, we are being hailed.

Scott:  Onscreen.

<viewscreen shows an interior portion of the cube, rows and rows of people dressed in snow gear, mindlessly eating bratwurst and casseroles>

Scott:  This is Captain Larry Scott, of the USS...

Mysterious Robotic Voice:  WE COME FOR TEXAS.  WE HAVE ANALYZED YOUR CAPABILITIES AND KNOW THAT YOU CANNOT WITHSTAND US.  ANY ATTEMPT TO DEFEND YOURSELVES WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT.

USC:  Raise shields, red alert! 

Oregon:  Shields raised, red alert acknowledged. <alarm sounds>

<The crew of the PAC-8 look at one another astonished>

Big Ten:  WE ARE THE BIG TEN.  WE WILL ADD YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL SCHOOLS TO OUR OWN.  RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

 

To Be Continued...

The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.

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