So I've heard that some people have been wanting to see a flag post for a while. I finally got around to it. Sorry for the delay. Life has been busy.
A few of the ground rules of flags:
(1) Flaggers will remain anonymous. We take serious flags seriously, so we won't ever publish the identity of a legit flagger. The flags below are meant to be funny, but we still don't publish the flaggers because we still want to protect the privacy of the flaggers.
(2) We (more specifically, I) try to read flags. So in case you do have a legitimate flag, don't worry (too much), there is a chance I'll see it. If you're worried about it not being seen by us, you can flag a whole bunch of crap because all the mods will probably see that or you can just straight email us.
(3) Some flags are meant to be funny. Others are truly malicious. I try to weed those out. We know everyone has gripes with a few other people here on the blog, but there's no need to air that all out publicly.
With that out of the way, let's get to the flags.
TwistNHook was flagged for:
Learn to fucking spell, nimrod. It is stanfurd or, if you must capitalize, Stanfurd.
No. One. Cares.
Oh dear lord stop talking about reach arounds!!!!!
Your love for Rishi is forbidden, pursuant to Prop 8. Also just wanted to follow through with my flag threat.
I think I'm running out of reasons to flag Twist. FLAG FLAG FALG
Flagged for being Twist.
I would flag you twice if I could.
I lost my virginity at 11. She was like 13. We still cool to this day. Shout out!
Twist, you are the worst Jew EVER. No one thinks the all-knowing creator God was a person. If He had a personification, it was as a bush on fire. I mean, even the humanization of Christ is questionable--many scholars believe He was just an amalgamation of Egyptian and Roman gods.
Idiotic and stupid and dumb.
TwistNHook is full of dumbassary.
Jaw droppingly horrible
Any mention of The Real Housewives of Anywhere deserves not only a flag, but also a swift kick to the groin, although such a kick would apparently not cause you too much discomfort.
Flagged for nailing yourself. I'm pretty sure you can't do that within 100 yards of this website because there are minors present.
Flagged for being a jerk to people unfamiliar with SBN. Like you've never had a reply fail.
Flagg'd for insulting Rishi. How is that comment encapsulating what Rishi is? Where are the $3 Lemon Drops? Where are the unreasonably high standards to allow riders on the "Rishi-train"? Where is his hate for Tina Fey, masking his true love for her and her immense body of work? Where is *any* reference to Drink O'Clock or necbromancery? Where is the "You'll get it when you're older"? Here, he even tells rollonubears that he knows already, that he doesn't have to grow up. Nonsense. That is not the most Rishi comment ever.
flagged you fucking pussy, goddamn, you'd rather have the A's move to Vegas or Fremont than have a fucking train whistle?!?!?!
You need help.
Why are you such an attention whore?
Twist is uglier than a wart on a legless lizard that has tuberculosis.
Ohio Bear was flagged for:
My colleague has once again failed in his attempt to reply to a post. So we'll get some random comment, many entries down from the one to which the reply was attempted, and people will wonder "what the heck is going on here?? MADNESS" and then chaos will ensue. Ergo, flag.
Avinash was flagged for:
Ummm, hello? NO ONE SHOULD LOVE JOE STARKEY.
There are SO many good burrito places in the BA, I must flag you.
Flagged for acting like Twist.
Avinash should be banned for 24 hours for not knowing the genius that was J Torchio.
dude you have some MAJOR goggles going on here
Ok imagine you're hiking and you trip and fall and get covered head to toe in some mud that was formed when some cow pee mixed with rotting compost and was transported to where you fell via millions of horseflies that also have the gout. That is less dirty than the word Avinash just said.
CalBear81 was flagged for:
CANNOT ROOT FOR THE 'FURD, REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCES!
Rishi was flagged for:
Rishi does not look good in anything, especially formal clothes
family guy is funny but not comparable to the simpsons...how dare all of you
How does Rishi not know how to spell stanfurd????? Flag x 1000, particularly during Big Game week.
Kishi = Rishi in Kade mode He deserved it! Please don't ban me, oh please, please don't ban me. Twist made me do it, I swear! It was all his idea.
Rishi has completed the savage rape of every positive memory from my boyhood!
Well, Rishi seems like a good guy... for a self-obsessed, misogynistic, near-alcoholic, conservative Republican Indian with a bad taste for women, politicians, and mixed drinks.
MISLEADING LINK FAIL. Rishi, I'd expect better of you and your $3 Lemon Drops.
And to a certain somebody that asked me (via a flag of someone else) if they are a dick, no you are not a dick.
Believe it or not 33SwisherSweet has only been flagged about 7 times:
Everyone must love Since1997 because she hasn't been flagged once.
Rollonubears has been flagged for:
Doesn't appreciate Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Snoop Dogg, and Jeremy Piven in the same film.
Writing about Canada over Colbert vs. Stewart? That's like saying "Sex with Jessica Alba with no strings attached? no, no, none for me, thanks. I'll have sex with that cold, damp boulder instead. Ahh much better."
DC Trojan has been flagged for:
Flagged for not recognizing Deniece Williams' body of work.
That's fucking disgusting, but I hate myself for laughing. Fuck you, DC Trojan, you asshole. Stop making me not hate USC fans.
STOP RAPING MY CHILDHOOD
HOW DARE DC TROJAN PREDICT THE FUTURE!!!! WITCHCRAFT
Ragnarok was flagged for:
Don't encourage marriage.
Carp was flagged for:
Our eyes met across the crowded flag brothel. I, a customer, and her, a flag whore. So I pursued, and she withdrew, and she pursued and I withdrew. And so we danced. And I burned for her... ...Much like the burning during urination I would experience soon thereafter.
HOW CAN YOU LET TWIST BE MORE MANLY THAN YOU SLUT
If Twist posts a picture of his scoop neck shirt, we will be no different from CyberBears. No No No a thousand times No
No one is ever permitted to like Willingham. NO ONE. CARP'S INDISCRETION SHALL NOT PASS.
Carp isn't enough of a gamer-intangible-plays-the-game-the-right-way-hustler to gain Bruce Jenkin's approval.
two legs up
Sometimes, I wish carp was a real fish, that way when he'd type all he could do is flop around on the keyboard before he dies so it would look like @#$^@ % TGDRIFMGOUWNAODPJakldj alka klsdnfkl alkljjklasd sadkfj k.asd...234298h,,, jkhsfd h s Which is better than what he just wrote.
A kencraw live chat would be about as pleasurable as having ones nipples pinched by a kencrawfish.
Turkey was flagged for:
flag'd for using rom-com on this blog. It's not OK even if turkey's a smokin' hot female with epic t 'n' a. turkey seems to have learned his lesson so I don't believe he needs to have further punishment.
Anyone who drinks Bud Light Lime should be banned from the site.
Dballisloose was flagged for:
dballisloose is also a loose speller, as he effed up bigtime in his spelling of stanfurd.
Dumpster Muffin covered in maple syrup? I'm pretty sure I will not be getting a hard on for at least 3 months after that imagery. Asshole.
Spazzy McGee was flagged for:
imma f*** u till u love me white boi
I LOVE MY INDIA
'cause TAYLOR SWIFT, that's why.
u saw a california condor in the wrong state!
There's no easy way to check who flags the most and who has the most flags. The only way for me to do this is to basically just check people's information one at a time. Thus, this may not be the entirely most accurate information but....
Flagger of the Year Award goes to: [name redacted]
I swear, 75% of all flags might actually be from [name redacted]. I can't say who this is because this would violate the rule of not publishing the names of the flaggers, but I think this person knows who they are...
Flagged Commenter of the Year Award goes to: TwistNHook.
It seems like everyone loves to bash our lovable Twist. He has 151 flags to date. Nobody else even comes close to that.
Here are the Oscar Flag of the Year Nominees (the really long flags got cut off, so you'll have to read the full versions above):