We may be few. We may be small in stature. But we have arrived with a fever and bottles of JDraft, served piping-hot for your pleasure. Otherwise it gets all clumpy.
The great wilderness of Oregon is difficult to traverse, and many do not survive the journey. Let us remember back to September, when the Golden Bear football team attempted the trek. They were never heard from again. They even had a native Oregonian at the helm. But sadly, too many Top Dogs and King Pin donuts had caused him to forget the way. Legend has it they were forced to eat the frozen corpse of special teams coach Pete Alamar to survive.
In response, athletic director Sandy Barbour launched an attack far more sinister: covert psychological warfare. Through the power of hypnotism, many lives were claimed. Mike Bowlin, Matt Simms, and Jamere Holland disappeared, never to be seen at Autzen Stadium again. LaMichael James was incapacitated, unable to come within miles of campus. And today, the campaign took down quarterback Jeremiah Masoli. While Chip Kelly sits in his office and drink heavily, we at AtQ took it upon ourselves to make a diplomatic visit down to AtQ South and tell you why the Ducks can win today.
WHO EVERYONE THINKS IS IMPORTANT: TAJUAN PORTER - TP's 32 points last night against Washington State solidified his role as "the guy who has the ball all the time even though he's four feet tall and is a terrible passer". Porter comes into today's game one three-pointer shy of tying Salim Stoudamire for the career Pac-10 record. And no one likes Salim Stoudamire, not even Arizona fans.
WHO ACTUALLY IS IMPORTANT: EJ SINGLER - EJ had the buzzer-beating tip-in last night against the Cougs, and he does pretty much everything the rest of the Ducks do not: actively rebounds at both ends, hits mid-range jumpers, sets off-ball screens, and hustles. It's almost like he can play basketball. I'm not totally comfortable with it. I like watching street ball for 40 minutes.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: If Cal wins, it may well be Ernie Kent's last game as Oregon head coach. Ask yourself, is that what you want? Wouldn't you rather see him back next year? That's what I thought. In the meantime, join your overlords in the Pledge of Duckhood, which is incidentally the official creed of Happy I Hate Washington Day.
I Hate Dawgs
Shoot 'Em in the Head
Set 'Em on Fire
Cuz I Hate Washington
Lastly, remember. Win or lose, we booze.