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Wunderkind QB to Become the Next Prince of $C

 

 

Just couldn't pass this up when I saw it on ESPN--

Thursday evening Kiffin received a verbal commitment from 13-year old wunderkind quarterback David Sills of Bear, Del.

It gets even better, and more disgusting below.

47d17e9e9bb31_medium

Star-divide

A 13-year-old child in Delaware is already aspiring to be a $C QB under Lane Kiffin's program.  Granted, David "wants" to be a QB for USC, but why his parents allowed him to subsequently committ to Lane Kiffin - who could very well be living incognito in South America or lost in a Burmese opium den by 2015 - is beyond me.  With the throes of young adulthood ahead for the young Peyton Manning II of USC - and the crucial step before stardom that is high school football in Delaware - his parents are lock-step behind him and may need to administer a few flat tires to keep the kid walking forward.

A couple of hours later, the Sills family called Kiffin and they spoke for the first time. USC had always been Sills' dream school, according to his father, David Sills IV.

"I'm as shocked as anybody," Sills' father said. "I was just talking with friends yesterday about what it'll be like four years from now when David goes through the recruiting process. I never expected this to happen so soon.

"But David's always wanted to go to USC. I mean, is there a better place to play football in the country? How can you pass up the best offer you're ever going to get?"

The 7th grader is being peddled by Steve Clarkson, who has the prodigy flown every few weeks to him at his camps and training events in California.  Clarkson's opinion:

And when I said if there was going to be a LeBron James of football it'd be Jimmy Clausen that turned out to be a pretty good prediction.

"Well, I've got a kid now who is better than all of them and he's in Delaware. You gotta take a look at him."

I don't know much about Jimmy Clausen (I see nice stats...), but it sounds like a sound analogy to me!  And an excellent indication of Clarkson's abilities of assessment.

I had to put this video on mute before the teeth grinding got too bad.  I don't know if this stuff is normal in Delaware, or in SoCal, but I am seriously disturbed.  Apparently Mr. Clarkson has a business of turning man-childs into NFL Prospects.  If someone can please tell me what this video or its logo reminds me of, it would really help me cope after having watched it.  EVEN BETTER, this video is entitled "David Sills - The Next Tiger Woods" (Mr. Clarkson, please hire me onto your PR/Business Development team ASAP).

If $C is going to be turned into the beauty pagent of football, with parents coddling over their popping cans of confused adolescent emotions, then I say what better time than under Lane Kiffin, who seems like he could have a second life as an MC for child beauty pagents.  And maybe, just maybe, there will be a Chris Martin-type at Cal successfully recruited for the chance to bury the abomination into the turf.  Has anyone else read the Dunwich Horror? (I mean this kid is 6 feet already, will the growing stop?)

Lane-kiffin_medium

Poll
What were you doing when you were 13?
Going to Boy Scouts
4 votes
Going to Girl Scouts
2 votes
Running Away from Girls
12 votes
Breaking Down Football Tape
5 votes
Looking into an Algebra Textbook
33 votes
Making Girls Run Away from You
1 votes
Making Boys Run Away from You
0 votes

57 votes | Poll has closed

The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.

0 recs  |  Comment 36 comments  |  Add comment

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Fuck this kid's family

What a bunch of attention whoring morons.

Email: bearsnecessities@gmail.com

by Avinash on Feb 5, 2010 12:16 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

There is so much wrong with this.

He hasn’t even grown into his body yet. You need the physical tools along with the mental tools to succeed at the college level. This kid hasn’t even finished middle school. What the hell were you doing when you were 13?

Email: bearsnecessities@gmail.com

by Avinash on Feb 5, 2010 12:26 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Being terrified of girls.

Quantity AND quantity!

by Spazzy Mcgee on Feb 5, 2010 12:29 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

That’s a good question. Now its a poll.

"It’s not a good car and not a good boat, but it’s the best car-boat ever made"

by emiliosCA on Feb 5, 2010 12:34 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

You move fast. Nice.

Email: bearsnecessities@gmail.com

by Avinash on Feb 5, 2010 12:59 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Hes got great lateral movement and a real motor. Perhaps we should offer? I heard Addicted To Quack is big on this guy, he’s sorta flying under the radar now. Just a 2*. Could be the next Aaron Rodgers!

President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Feb 5, 2010 8:07 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Committing to U$C...

But I had this terrible accident during an eighth grade flag football game and PC yanked my scholly :(

Things to Remember: Girls usually don't like it when you yell out "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. - TFLN

by CruzinBears on Feb 5, 2010 8:38 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Same with me. I had the scholly locked up, but then my grades were mediocre in high school, and I tripped up on the ACT, so I didn’t academically qualify for $C. Instead, I had to go to Cal :(

Costs assessed against Twist

by CALumbus Bear on Feb 5, 2010 8:40 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

lulz
so I didn’t academically qualify for $C

Haha you said not eligible and $C in the same sentence when talking about athletics… we both know there are no academic requirements to get on the $C football team… Your star level just needs to be higher than your GPA…

Things to Remember: Girls usually don't like it when you yell out "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. - TFLN

by CruzinBears on Feb 5, 2010 9:02 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

One hit from any linebacker on any major level NCAA team and this kid would be knocked the fuck out.

"Today's weather, excessively violent with a chance of dismemberment. Tune in later for our 5-day forecast!"
~ Three Dog - Fallout 3

by Swamphunter on Feb 5, 2010 1:49 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Algebra?

F that. 9th grade was Algebra II, son!

by LeonPowe on Feb 5, 2010 1:55 AM PST reply actions   1 recs

I think this is eighth grade, not ninth grade.

In which case, yes, Algebra II!

7

by Rishi on Feb 5, 2010 6:22 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Damn you were ahead of me in math! I failed the test they gave out in 5th or 6th grade so I was always one year behind in math (but still 1 year ahead of the “regular” path). I took Algebra II in 10th!

In other words, Go Bears!

by royrules22 on Feb 5, 2010 10:21 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

sounds about right

baby carp already committed to Tedford’s 2030 class, but only if he doesn’t have to blueshirt. He plays at a low-pad level.

"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark

by carp on Feb 5, 2010 6:57 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

There’s no “Having girls run away from you” selection in the poll.

President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Feb 5, 2010 8:06 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Were you chasing little girls around JM Mr. Twist???

Things to Remember: Girls usually don't like it when you yell out "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. - TFLN

by CruzinBears on Feb 5, 2010 8:39 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Ha, I wish

President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Feb 5, 2010 10:21 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Which is why I was forced to vote for the algebra thing.

I am a Vereenian.

by Ohio Bear on Feb 5, 2010 8:43 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

is there a way to add options to a poll without deleting it?

"It’s not a good car and not a good boat, but it’s the best car-boat ever made"

by emiliosCA on Feb 5, 2010 11:28 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Yes

You hit the pencil icon when you’re editing your post. The pencil icon is right next to the red “X” at the poll section.

The Ultimate Opportunist

by Rated-R Superstar on Feb 6, 2010 10:54 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

thanks.

"It’s not a good car and not a good boat, but it’s the best car-boat ever made"

by emiliosCA on Feb 8, 2010 11:13 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

If I say “going to girl scouts” and I’m a dude, does that make me a perv?

Costs assessed against Twist

by CALumbus Bear on Feb 5, 2010 8:42 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Nope just a big thin mint fan…

Things to Remember: Girls usually don't like it when you yell out "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. - TFLN

by CruzinBears on Feb 5, 2010 9:03 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Its what you were doing in junior high, not, yknow, right now

President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!

www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com

by TwistNHook on Feb 5, 2010 10:21 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Why can’t it be both?

Costs assessed against Twist

by CALumbus Bear on Feb 5, 2010 11:30 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Kiffin just wants someone to play matchbox cars with.

by chowder on Feb 5, 2010 10:43 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

hahahaha

"It’s not a good car and not a good boat, but it’s the best car-boat ever made"

by emiliosCA on Feb 5, 2010 11:26 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

maybe we should lighten up, little davey might be reading this if he got the parental locks off the computer. he’d think his liddle dwaft stock maywbe a’tumblin…

"It’s not a good car and not a good boat, but it’s the best car-boat ever made"

by emiliosCA on Feb 5, 2010 11:30 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

All this is doing is putting a big fat target on the back of his jersey for any opposing defense he plays over the next several years.

by atomsareenough on Feb 5, 2010 1:51 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

“Yes, I committed to Tennessee,” Evan Berry told Rivals.com. “It’s the only college I know right now and it seems the best for me.”

For some reason I’m suddenly remembering the British boy who was a dad at 13. Thrust into adult situations with the same kind of complete misunderstanding of how the world works.

Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?

by AndBears on Feb 6, 2010 2:31 PM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I’m not agreeing with 13 year-olds committing, but at least Evan Berry had his older brother (Eric Berry) at Tennessee at the time. I could see a 13 year old wanting to follow in the footsteps of his 20/21 year old brother.

by chowder on Feb 7, 2010 5:54 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Hahahahah, it’s funny because Kiffin won’t still be a head coach by the time this kid is in college.

by Missing Barry on Feb 6, 2010 10:16 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

And when I said if there was going to be a LeBron James of football

Hahahaha this is even funnier becuase football simply isn’t a game one person can dominate the way a freak of Lebrons DNA can in basketball.

by Missing Barry on Feb 6, 2010 10:17 PM PST reply actions   0 recs

yeah, that quote was preposterous. even watching the video for the kid, i don’t understand what kiffin sees or why he’d even bother at this point? USC is really into publicity points and the cutesy stuff – guess its because of the investigations.

"It’s not a good car and not a good boat, but it’s the best car-boat ever made"

by emiliosCA on Feb 8, 2010 11:12 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs


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