In anticipation of the Harry Potter 7(a) premiere (which I am not at all ashamed to say I'll be at tonight), let's take a look around the Pac-10 and do some comparisons.
Cal: Harry Potter
Some people think we're nerdy...but fuck 'em. We're embroiled in the fight against evil (more below), and we always end up kicking ass. Kind of like a golden bear.
JUMP! (and no Twist, the story ad does NOT begin here)Stanfurd: Voldemort
Pure evil. Consumed with defeating us, even though recent events seem to indicate that they never will (knock on wood!). Turn to shady characters (like the Harbaughler) to help them in their quest. Still, there is an undeniable connection between Cal and Stanford that can't easily be broken.
UCLA: Cousin Dudley
Despite often receiving more "love" (from the media / from the Aunt and Uncle), they have major insecurities. Will go to great lengths to try their superiority, even though they are indisputably inferior in every way possible.
USC: Draco Malfoy
Rich, entitled, douchey, and never slow to exhibit any of these traits. Plus, they resort to paying players to one-up the competition, much like Draco bought his way onto the Quidditch team. Definitely some major violations here.
Washington State: House elves
Have been everybody's bitch for a long time. Can't manage to stay out of their own ways, let alone rise up and take on the humans. Live for the little things (clothes / lone Pac-10 wins).
Washington: Neville Longbottom
Recently, he was kind of a screw-up, running around screwing up and generally sucking. However, there's some evidence that they're about to turn the corner and develop into a legitimate force. The jury is still out, however. Also, has a reasonably decorated history (UW's football and Neville's grandparents).
Arizona: Ron Weasley
Definitely above average, and with the potential to do pretty good things...but it's unlikely that they'll ever be a tremendous force. Seem to be perennially "breaking through" instead of getting there. Also, this works really well with my ASU comparison!
ASU: Fred & George Weasley.
PARTY!! Not too interested in academics, however. Still, have good success in the business world (wasn't there a survey that showed employers really like ASU grads?)
Don't mess around. Roll through, suck the happiness out of everyone around them, and then move on. Grudgingly respected and retained because of their immense power, but no one really wants to be around them.
OSU: Mr. and Mrs. Weasley
Live out in the middle of nowhere. Noone takes them too seriously, yet they always manage to get stuff done. Genuinely good people; you tend to root for them even without a vested interest.
CGB: Help me out. Where did I go wrong? Any other suggestions? What about individual posters? Shout 'em out!
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The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.