Let's face reality Cal fans: there's a pretty decent chance we're going to lose on Saturday. I'm not saying it's a certainty, but we're approximately three touchdown underdogs for a reason. Instead of sticking our heads in the
sand loose fill on which Memorial Stadium rests, we need to be prepared for a potentially negative outcome.
The fact that this possible loss would be to the ducks merits special attention. They are the only fans I've encountered at Memorial that were aggressively talking trash after a loss. That was four years ago, 2006, and what a game it was. Cal dominated from start to finish, and yet, for some reason, large packs of duck fans started jive talking. I was more amazed at their tenuous grasp on reality than anything else, as they were so clearly willing to look past the events of the last few hours as if they had never happened.
To use an Obamaism, let's be frank. Oregon is not a good school. Most of their alums and fans are quite possibly illiterate. Due to their lack of intellect, they have reasoning skills of hamster and the vocal aggression of coked up badger. They are going to heckle us, win or lose, and they are probably going to win. We need to be ready.With that in mind, here are a few lines you can use at the game:
- It's weird that Cal is the team that's choking, since LaMichael James is on the other team.
- (After a bad call against us): Figures that Cal would get robbed a couple times playing against Oregon.
Ok, two jokes isn't much, but I can't think of anything else right now. And if the going gets rough, we have the ultimate trump card: Roboduck. Whatever happens, there will always be roboduck.