CGB Meme Invitational - FINAL FOUR

It has come to this.  The Final Four.  Take a look at the bracket.  The big matchups:

Pain Train v. Brock Mansion Party Yacht

Sanchez Declaration v. UC Eugene.

This time out, let's take a look at UC Eugene v. Sanchez!  Read the info behind the fold and then vote, vote, vote.  The winner goes into the Finals!

Sanchez took out Nailed It! last time out. Sanchez beat back General Akbar before that.  And This before that.

First, UC Eugene took on the enigmatic Diante Jackson.  No upset there!  UC Eugene then beat CougCenter Week, a tough matchup. UC Eugene beat the Cinderella seed, Replacing J with Y.


#1 I Declare You Sanchez via JShufelt

Do you know the definition of inane? I don’t! I tried looking it up, and I don’t think it’s an actual word. That’s what this meme is all about. Inanity, now – I know you’re thinking, "Aren’t all meme’s inherently inane?" – And for thinking that, I declare you Sanchez!


Sucks, doesn’t it? Well too bad. There isn’t anything you can do about it, other than accept this, learn from this, and move on. In its rawest form, declaring someone Sanchez is as inane as you want it to be, but don’t get carried away, or someone will declare you Sanchez.  It’s a race to who can call the other one Sanchez first. Who is the Sancheziest? My guess is that it is probably you, because I declare you Sanchez again.

The origins of this meme of this declaration make about as much sense as this sentence. If your computer doesn’t crash, or plumes of smoke tendrils don’t roll out, you probably aren’t as Sanchez as I thought – but I’m guessing you’re at work, which makes you even Sanchezier.


UC Eugene (1)  

Here at CGB, we have our link dump, the Daily Bear Dump (or DBD).  I once thought what if we took our show on the road.  The rest?  CGB History. 

I brought it to our fatter, stupider, balder siblings up north, Addicted To Quack. 



This land may now be called California Golden Blogs North.

But do not worry, fair denizens of UC Eugene.  We come in peace!  Here, take these cured meats and bejeweled jean jackets as signs of our goodwill.  We have been traveling to the many different SBNation-States here as pioneers, explorers, and conquistadors.  Mostly, conquistadors, because we love those hats.


"The Maharg in full rave mode" via

First, we went to Building The Dam.  Their ways are interesting to us all.  They showed us their giant feasts, their all night dance parties, and their cocaine-fueled goat orgies. 

Things were going well until they tried to complain about how long it had been since they went to the mystical "Rose Bowl."  Their impudence offended us.  Telling us how to deal with not going to a Rose Bowl is like telling a fish how to survive in water.  It's just second nature to us.  So, we left.  I mean we raped, pillaged and burned before we left.  But not quite in that order.  And that was the problem.  We burned first, which really decreased the quality of both the rape and the pillage.  Always have to remember to keep that in the specific order.  Burn last.  Always remember.  Burn, last.

We then traveled to the Nation of the Bruins.  Their fast-paced acronym-based language confused us.  We tried to make nice nice with those hostiles by giving them the stuffed mustaches of Dorrell.  But, in response, the savages shot arrows at us.  So, we got the hell out of there.  But not before they captured CBKWit.  We thought of trying to go back in to save him, but I mean c'mon, arrows?!?!?  I don't need that.  Not worth it, not worth it.

And now we are here and we like it.  It's good up here.  Decent home-brewed beers, I mean not as good as back in our fair land, but still pretty good.  I'm partial to JShufelt's JDraft.  That's a good one.  I've always felt Seattle Quacker's JDraft was just derivative.

Plus, after how our football team has done against yours the past 4 out of 5 years, I feel like we own this land anyway.  So, in anticipation of the big b-ball game this weekend, we have come here to claim this land in the name of CGB.  Bring us your women, build us our houses, and let's get to the work making CGB North the best possible CGB Annex possible.  Can't be worse than Euro-CGB.  Let's do this thing!

Now, I bring you news of your new team!  Listen carefully to see how your new Golden Bear overlords are doing.

Thus there was much merriment and subjugation of locals.  All was good with the world.  I was the Tyrant Boy King of UC Eugene.  My people were happy:


This is the greatest DBD in the history of CGB. I hope JServant arrives at my door early tomorrow morning so he can cool me off with large palm fronds while his minions feed me grapes.

"After review, it has been determined that the previous play was not reviewable"
The Pac-10: where quality officiating happens.

by Berkelium97 on Jan 19, 2009 11:55 PM PST reply reply actions actions   0 recs


Then, ultimately, there was the insurrection and the Declaration Of Independence.

On the same evening, the 1st convention of of the Addicted To Quack Congress declared the following:


When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the sporting ties which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all bloggers are created equal, that they are endowed by Peter Bean with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Such is now the necessity which constrains Addicted To Quack to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Cal Golden Blogs (TwistNHook) is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over Addicted To Quack. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

With their presence, they did infect the fine name of Addicted To Quack with Rose Bowl envy, a malady brought upon by never seeing ones team win outright a football conference champion and take it's rightful place in the Rose Bowl Game, presented by AT&T.

With this Envy, they continued this complex with an undue amount of emphasis on "non-revenue" sports. While the fine denizens of Addicted To Quack respect the accomplishments of all athletic teams of the fine University, placing priority on lower-level athletics gives off the appearance of inferiority.

During occupation, the citizens of Addicted To Quack were subjected to all manor of inside jokes and mannerisms. However, this "Bearificiation" failed to contain the best of all UC Berkeley blogging traditions, the "Double Air E-Honk." ( When it was presented, it was a shell of it's former self. It is an insult that the traditions were not passed on adequately.  

CGB, in an act of torture in clear violation of the Geneva Conventions, used ATQ pagespace to terrorize citizens by subjecting them to heinous activities, such as "tennis," and "rugby."

The lower level citizens of CGB, instead of opening their arms to their brethren, instead decided to bring up bad blood by posting heinous pictures of events of which we shall not speak.

Cal Golden Blogs tried to export to the North, crappy beer, the so-called JDraft. This is totally unacceptable to our refined palates.

With these usurpations, Addicted To Quack must free itself from the tyrannical shackles of South, and take up arms!

Of course, as the Tyrant Boy King, I have personally led the forces into battle to squelch this insurrection. 


I'm on the left there.  That's Oaktown on the right.

So, there you go.  The invasion and occupation of CGB North.  Their land is our land.  Never forget that.  We're like the British!  But with better teeth!

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