Your California: Mono
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 1:39 AM PDT
67 comments
White Mountain Peak sits atop (get outta here) the White Mountains, the highest and westernmost of the Great Basin ranges. It requires a left turn at The Boonies, a right turn once you reach Nowhere, then another left when you reach The Middle. To get to the trailhead, you have to cross-and I am only partially joking-the moon, and ascend a to a breath-stealing height of close to 12000 feet, higher than the large majority of the actual county highpoints.
It is in the rainshadow of the Sierras, so it is very dry. It is high elevation, so there is not much oxygen. And since it is nowhere near the tempering breezes of the Pacific Ocean, it is also cold. There is also lava, and dinosaurs, and locusts, and ...and... welcome, welcome indeed to the highpoint of Mono County, the second entry in the 55-part county highpoint series: Your California.
Mono County
Vital stats:
Population: 12,853 (.18 Sold-Out Memorial Stadiums, or 1.08 Haas Pavilions)
Major Towns: definitely none.
Highpoint: White Mountain Peak, elevation 14,241 (46.3 Sather Towers)
Location (Berkeley terms): near Tahoe
Major Landmarks: The Whoa Nellie Deli, Mammoth Mountain, Bodie State Historic Park
University of California Affiliations: Barcroft White Mountain Research Station. Research from many different fields use this facility. This telescope was erected in 1963 to study the temperature of foreign bodies with IR.
via www.wmrs.edu
lol erected
Mono County is located high on the western edge of the Great Basin (just south of the Great Faucet and near the Great Soap Dispenser), and immediately abuts the Sierras to the west. Every spring and summer, snowmelt from the nearby mountains fills the local streams, which drain into Mono Lake and supports an ecosystem of birds which feed on something called Brine Shrimp.
via www.odec.ca
Delectable with a creamy béchamel
However, much of Mono County sits above 6000 feet, while the city of Los Angeles, three hundred miles due south, is nary above sea level, making the (comparatively) water-rich land the only easy way southern California could slake its ever-growing thirst for swimming pools and awful tasting tap water.
In the 1940s, the rapacious Department of Water and Power of Los Angeles built canals which drained inflow to Mono Lake to feed into their in-place systems from earlier in the century (which will be the topic of another entry). Without significant inflow and dry Nevada winds leading to intense evaporation, Mono Lake’s level began to fall. It took until 1974 for a group of folks from UC Davis to realize this, and eventually they sued to stop the LADWP. The lake’s level has slowly begun to rise since, and the shrimp, though not thriving as they once did, are more delicious these days than they were in the 70's.
Mono Lake from Mt. Dana
To get to the trailhead, take 120 through Yosemite (4 hrs) and go south on 395 until you hit Big Pine (2 hrs). Take a left on 168 in Big Pine, and then a left again on White Mountain Road (1hr). Pass the Bristlecone Pine forest, then go nearly 20 more miles on bone jarring dirt road that is passable with 2WD (but it sucks…another hr). It takes a long, long, long time.
After the forest, you’re essentially driving on an enormous, bare pile of rocks ten thousand feet in the sky. There is only space above and flat rocks all around you. There was not enough snow to glaciate this area in the last ice age, so what you get are scenes like these:
Sea of Tranquility
Sea of Serenity
The Big Sea (get it? OMFG GET IT?)
We didn’t reach the trailhead until 10am, and oddly, despite the cars, we'd see only one other person the entire day.
After a mile or so we reached Barcroft, and it was deserted but for some extremely out of place looking sheep.
Toto I don’t think we’re in New Zealand anymore…
There was, however, a free telescope, focused on nothing, in the middle of nowhere, that allowed us to look at more or less nothing in the middle of somewhere else, but UP CLOSE. It was like we were THERE. I'm sure if I was French and thought deeply about things and smoked I'm sure I could come up with some theory about how our presence telescopes into the visions of others lives along with truth and beauty as it relates to the meaning of post modernism, but I'll leave that to Twist (please don't kill me for making an art joke.)
Just as I thought. There are things over there.
Hey! It’s the observatory from the historic picture shown above! The true dedication of scientists never ceases to amaze me. When given the choice of an astrophysics PhD or MBA for grad school, what person said "No, I won’t use my gigantic brain to land a plum job at an IB firm, smoking fine cigars and sitting on swanky leather furniture and eating $40 lunches. I’d much rather work in a rusty, cramped, freezing, ten-foot metal boob straining my eyeballs to look through a telescope at nothing in particular, ten hours from civilization, at three in the morning. That’s the life for me!"
A hard knock life...
Continuing on, I ran into some CSU players conditioning for fall.
Ramouflage
They immediately saw I went to Cal, went into a huddle, and decided the best play was to run off in terror. Hagan was down the slope, though, and they ran RIGHT by him.
Up to this point the climb had been fairly level.
As flat as old soda. Which is a beautiful name for a girl. Or a boy. But especially a girl.
But after about five miles the trail took a turn for the upward. Which is really when the elevation started getting to me. Having trouble with the altitude has always been maddening to me, as I tend to have two walking speeds: "off" and "full." Full speed at 13 thousand feet starts to get slower, and slower, and slower. You feel woozy constantly as your brain is starved for oxygen.
Pretending there's an In n Out at the top makes things easier. Until you get there.
Worse, your body’s fight to provide enough oxygen to the brain means it is starving the parts of your body you need to move: your legs. This means it feels as though your walk in the park has turned into a walk through tomato soup. Then beef stew. Then jello. Then oatmeal. In addition, you have to breathe much faster to obtain O2 so if there is any type of air pollution or dust, your lungs swell up and make you hack. The last half hour I remember feeling like I had a terrible flu.
Almost as high as the visitor seats at the Coliseum...
Near the top, we ran into a giant snowfield. In August.
Anyone for a rock flavored slurpee?
Finally, the summit station.
I called. It led to a sweepstakes center in Fullerton. I may have already won...
Highpoint of Mono county achieved. The views were huge but hazy, spanning the entire range of the Sierras. I felt if I had a hanglider I could go for days.
Dear god someone set up a zipline…
All that was left was to re-enter earth’s atmosphere and drive down to Bishop.
Olympus Mons
I remember on the road back down these bizarre birds would basically sit on the side of the road until the car came within about twenty yards of them. Then they would BOLT off in flight, then swoop back around onto the road, missing the car by what had to be inches, every time. It was freaky, until one bird misjudged and WHAM, right onto the hood. That thing was deader than a pile of rocks, and I tossed it off into the bushes.
Earthrise.
The day ended, as usual, with blue and gold:
GO BEARS.
The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.
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CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 1:45 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Theres a lot of non-Marshawn there.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 6, 2009 9:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
1. I can relate to the altitude comments having climbed Whitney and Kinablu. Whitney was like wading through mud.
2. The Whoa Nellie Deli is EXCELLENT.
by LeonPowe on May 6, 2009 3:06 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Shouldn’t you be working on free throws or something?
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
by HydroTech on May 6, 2009 3:24 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He will if you can explain what's going on here.
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash on May 6, 2009 3:33 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
KG doing some mean mugging.
Still holding out hope that Ryan Anderson will capitulate and grant him that interview he's been asking for for months now.
by yellow fever on May 6, 2009 6:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I tried to climb Whitney last memorial day. Failure personified. I was expecting snow, cold, wind, and was prepared for all that, but a late storm came up from Hawaii and made it impossible to get beyond 12,000 ft. There was a tornado in LA, how often does that happen!
I knew I was in trouble when there was 3 inches of fresh powder at the trailhead at 7,000 ft. We made a go of it for one night, then gave up.
They're after our precious bodily fluids
by chowder on May 6, 2009 9:05 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
my resounding memory from Whitney is realizing at the top that I would shortly need to take a dump, but REALLY didn’t want to use those baggies they give you. I held it for 11 intestine jarring miles back to the th.
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
haha, fortunately I didn’t have to test out the wag-bags.
They're after our precious bodily fluids
by chowder on May 6, 2009 11:19 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is why I never do anything remotely outdoorsy.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 6, 2009 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
oh…….my…….
that has to be one of the worst feelings.
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 12:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
When I went in early Spetember
We heard the weather was great the day before, but possible wind the next day.
Boy, when they mean wind, they mean constant 35-40mph gusts all the way. I somehow willed my way to the top only to barely be able to stand outside in fear of being blown away.
Oh, and I also held in my crap – I’m terrified of those baggies.
by racsan on May 6, 2009 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
California has mono now?
In other words, Go Bears!
by royrules22 on May 6, 2009 3:26 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Pictures of the dead bird or it didn’t happen.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
by HydroTech on May 6, 2009 3:39 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
yes, my thought process at the time was “OH SHIT I KILLED A BIRD. Well I’m starving cold hungry and sore all I wanna do is get off this rock and get a nice meal but I’ll go in my car, dig through my pack to find the camera, take it out, take a picture of a dead friggin bird for some dudes on the internet OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN ONOES.”
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 9:27 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So, what you are telling us is it didnt happen?
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 6, 2009 9:45 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
YOU didn’t happen!
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 9:57 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Has it really taken you that long to calm down?
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on May 6, 2009 9:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I totes know what you described though. I like to call them “country birds.” Country birds, since they don’t see many cars, don’t know that they’re supposed to fly away from the cars but instead fly in front of cars. City birds, on the other hand, are much more attuned to cars and know how to avoid them.
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
by HydroTech on May 6, 2009 10:36 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I would debate your last point considering how accurately their poop seems to get to the middle of my windshield
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
ROFL
Almost as high as the visitor seats at the Coliseum…
Again, well done Spazzy! I don’t think I’ve ever been to any part of Mono county before, although I’ve heard of Mono lake.
Let me get this straight the entire county has 12,000 people? Wowzers.
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 7:17 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
haha that’s awesome I didn’t know about that….
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 9:57 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is aobut the closest I get to nature these days.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 6, 2009 7:43 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
what about when it calls?
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 9:28 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I drive to Mono County and use the facilities there.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 6, 2009 9:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I spent several weeks at White Mnt research
station for a class back in the dark ages. It’s really nice there, we had snow in July.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on May 6, 2009 10:50 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I haven’t been to the Bishop/Big Pine area in many years, but this post makes me want to visit again soon.
Whose domicile? OUR DOMICILE!
by Berkelium97 on May 6, 2009 10:55 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Sad news though, some fucking anti government psycho burned down the awesome visitor center at the bristlecone pine forest. That place was really, really nice.
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
best part of that article was the warnings on the side
Honk if you think Rags is great!
by AndBears on May 6, 2009 12:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 12:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
really? Should the casual tourist give it a shot?
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 12:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Sure, there are some great hiking areas in Big Pine. It’s a great place to go camping/fishing in the summer.
Whose domicile? OUR DOMICILE!
by Berkelium97 on May 6, 2009 12:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
so the rest of the county doesn’t look like high desert?
desert camping can be a lot of fun with ATVs and such.
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
BTW – I just looked at Samuel P. Taylor St. Park (awesome local camping)…every weekend’s booked solid until Halloween.
I guess it’s time for Renegade Camping, carp style.
‘Honey…wait, you bought a shotgun for this trip? But you can’t even shoot. You tried (but failed) to get the Shooting Merrit Badge in the Scouts."
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Have you checked China Camp?
I haven't seen that many tear-stained dollar bills since my dad hired a stripper for my uncle's funeral.
by BearStage on May 6, 2009 1:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
no…but I will. Thanks!
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Well, Big Pine is in Inyo County, but I was reminded of it because Spazzy seems to have passed through/near it on his way to Mono County. Big Pine is more mountainous, as it’s on an eastern base of the Sierras (not far from Mt Whitney).
Whose domicile? OUR DOMICILE!
by Berkelium97 on May 6, 2009 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Right, to get to the highpoint, you have to drive through Big Pine, but then take a swoop north back into Mono County.
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
pics or you work for Mono county chamber of commerce.
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 1:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
No. Just give up.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 6, 2009 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Mrs. Twist not a big fan of nature?
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash on May 6, 2009 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
We went camping once. It went downhill fast after the first 10 minutes.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 6, 2009 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I really want to hear this story.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on May 6, 2009 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not to Change Counties
But, does anyone know any good tent-camping campgrounds in the Tahoe area? I was looking into Toiyabe, but there are a bunch. Also the girlfriend requires flush toilets.
They're after our precious bodily fluids
by chowder on May 6, 2009 1:47 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
An awesome resource is California Camping by Tom Stienstra. He includes just about everywhere, from the most obscure out of the way podunk places to Yosemite.
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 1:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
awesome book…I’m going to buy that now.
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
check that little campground outside Squaw Valley on the Truckee River that booked up like 3 years ago…or try Renegade Camping.
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What is the complete definition of renegade camping?
Let me remind you that i do not have an armored dog.
They're after our precious bodily fluids
by chowder on May 6, 2009 2:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
eh…it’s not exactly “legal.”
Some might consider it “squatting.”
I almost made a flowchart but I don’t have that much time.
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 6, 2009 2:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
also to answer your question I think Sugar Pine Point state park has flush toilets but I’m not sure…
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 6, 2009 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
no worries, ill just internet browse
They're after our precious bodily fluids
by chowder on May 6, 2009 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You are just looking at porn arent you?
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 6, 2009 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
def, def Emerald Bay. Sooooooooooooo pretty.
by AERose on May 6, 2009 9:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
As this series progresses
One of the editors should really add an interactive map to the sidebar with each county having a link to one of Spazzy’s posts. Alternatively, you could just list them all. That would work too.
by Nashville on May 6, 2009 9:17 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
People are already complaining we have too much stuff on the sidebar. We’re going to have to figure out how to simplify that going forward.
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash on May 6, 2009 11:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
heh I think the real solution is for me to not be lazy and put up my own website…
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 7, 2009 1:16 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
NO WE NEED THE TRAFFIC
don’t be selfish, Spazzy
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
by CBKWit on May 7, 2009 9:22 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If you put up a website, Ill only visit it as long as there are absolutely, positively no organically created jokes that stem from a vibrant community.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 7, 2009 9:59 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
flagged for stealing my vibrancy.
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 7, 2009 10:00 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
You just made CGB sound like some kind of community vegetable garden…
CGB: Our points are reliable. Our logic is infallible. Our past records are illogical. And our ham is dynamite!
by Spazzy Mcgee on May 7, 2009 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
We are, in one way. We’re also a community meat farm. You should try our ham. It’s quite dynamite.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
by TwistNHook on May 7, 2009 10:36 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I thought about a website of some sorts…
but it’s so much time (for me to learn) and there are already so many out there for the things I love (outdoors, science, Cal, sports).
Heaps and Hinder...come on down!
by carp on May 7, 2009 9:59 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
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