CGB Invitational - Stegosaurus (5) v. Hattin' (12)

Here is the 5 v. 12 matchup.  Stegosaurus v. Hattin'  Read the stuff behind the fold and then please vote in the Poll. 

This one should be a real barn-stomper!  Or barn-stormer.  Or stomp-stormer. Long story short, we've got perhaps the greatest Cal football player to ever become extinct (so many bad jokes I could make, so many bad jokes) versus a simple typographical error.  This should be a mauling.  Stegosaurus should crush a hat.  And then, it'll be only between you and us, smashed hat.  Ya, trying to shoehorn a Simpsons ref in there proved problematic.  

But will run wild?  Only time will tell.  Time and your votes!

Stegosaurus (5)

At one time during Oregon's 2008 football season, they were having UCLA level problems with QB injuries.  They were on their 84th string QB.  And so I wrote this DBD:

Enjoy this special, limited time offer to play QB for Oregon

Yes, you too can play QB for Oregon!  Didn't think you had physical aptitude or the stomach for mind-crunching hits?  Didn't think you could memorize their complicated playbook?  Well, worry no longer!

Just fill out this easy questionnaire to see if you fit the bill:

1.  Are you currently able to walk?

2.  On a scale from 1-10, how much do you enjoy walking?

3.  How good do you look in what appears to a jersey dipped randomly in green and yellow paint?

4.  What condititon would you say your ACL is in?

I think I could play Oregon QB.  Thanks to my Oakland As love, I have a lot of green and gold colored clothes.  My ACL has yet to burst.  And, honestly, I'm not that enamored over walking.  I mean it's OK.  I guess.

Put me in coach!

Seriously, though, they are on their 48th string QB.  Insane props to them for having a 48th string QB.  I think our 48th string QB is Karl Dorrell in a mustache.  Actually, I'm about 100% sure it is.  5-48 is just Karl Dorrell in different mustaches.  Man do I hope Karl Dorrell loves walking.

If you do become the Oregon QB, you'll be the latest in a long line of prestigious names and even more prestigious injuries.  Let's take a look at Oregon QBs through the years:

Dennis Dixon:

via www.salem-news.com

Injury:  Knee

Akili Smith:

via media.collegepublisher.com

Injury:  Brutal Sucktitude

Anne Boleyn:

via englishhistory.net

Injury:  Poor grasp of complicated playbook.  Also, no head.

Stegasaurus:

via www.geologicresources.com

Injury:  Asteroid-related extinction

Sisyphus:

via icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com

Injury:  Stubborn Rock

 

So, there you go.  If you take advantage of this limited time offer, you TOO can become a QB as respect as Dennis Dixon or Stegosaurus. Oh, Stegosaurus, you tail caused so many unnecessary roughness penalties.

You can't afford NOT to do this!

And, thus, Stegosaurus was born.  Notice the reference to Dorrell's mustache in there.  Stegosaurus was also the predicate for our love affair with the CoCoTimes chats with beat writer Jonathon Okanes.  In specific, the use of dino names as our handles for the chats.  So, this one is a complicated meme that involves several other memes.  Am I not a true meme wrangler?

Hattin' (12)

Well, hattin' is a bit more difficult to determine.  A bit more difficult to understand.  It's origins are lost to the mists of time.  There are some who claim it was but a simple typographical error that ballooned over time.  There are others who say the word "hate" itself is in error and that Yahweh inteded the word "hat" to be the real one.  And there are others who say the Cylon's One True God is little more than a false idol.

Me, I don't know where I stand on this literally centuries old problem.  Doesn't mean I'm hattin' on it, though.  I don't like to hat much.  I only hat on a few things.  The Maharg.  People who don't like Gossip Girl.  And, of course, Texas, illustrated here thanks to noted Awesome Dude, JShufelt. 

In conclusion, vote for Hattin' if you hate typographical errors, Texas, or complicated prequel-style storylines.