via www.animalfair.com

In the CGB DBD, all sorts of madness occurs. Someone can proclaim there arenot only hotter Indian girls than Frieda Pinto on the Cal campus, they've gotten it on with them. Another can talk about how Natalie Coughlin being merely average. Worst of all, people can proclaim Quizz>>Best. 

Which is why the Cynical-C Blog's YCPE (You Can't Please Everyone, one star Amazon reviews of classic films/books/music) section seems perfect for such a tough audience. 

How about Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl? Clearly the work of a hack.

I didn’t like this book because it was boring. That’s all that needs to be said. It was very very very very very very very very very very very boring. If you have to read this book shoot yourself first.S

Suicide>Reading.

How about with movies? One guy has a rad idea for Citizen Kane.

Citizen Kane was a real disappointment. Totally unoriginal plot, bad lighting, cheesy sets. Boring too. And gosh, what is with that Rose Bud thing? That was freaky!!! Woah dude!!! Anyway this movie was whack & mad boring cause you don’t even see the dude porkin’ the girl, and she isn’t even really hot anyway. It was a bummer too that it was in black and white and all the guys looked the same cause they all wore suits. The music was all weird and whack, yo. I didn’t like it. It didn’t have a good beat or dance rhythm section. But it was mad sweet, the dude’s crib, but he just be pacing around like, whassup? He should have had a mad party and had mad homies and sum real ladies up in that piece. I thought to my self how could u be so rich & be so messed up, yo?

Apparently the alternative for one of the greatest movies ever made is...Mad Cribs. You know you want it.

Office Space is worth watching just for this review, just to see why this guy went madman over it.

Weak Weak Weak. I was absolutely flabbergasted at the rave reviews this movie has received on the internet. Are we really that desparate for entertaiment? For those of you thinking about renting or buying this piece of trash, let me clue you in. Here’s the plot (unbelievable and stupid as it is) in a nutshell: A guy and his pals get fed up with their redundant jobs. (Who hasn’t felt that way?) The company decides to downsize, and calls the employees into the office one by one to (SUPPOSEDLY) evaluate their value to the company. So our hero goes in, admits that he does NOTHING, and (hold onto your hats) gets A PROMOTION. And his father-in-law isn’t the big boss (note sarcasm.) Is there such a company on the face of the entire PLANET? If so, let me know, I want to work (or not work, rather) for them! There is a scene in this movie where he has went to see a hypnotherapist to instill some confidence in himself, and the therapist dies right there in the office, BEFORE HE CAN EVEN PLANT ANY SUBLIMINAL POSITVES INTO THE GUY”S THICK SKULL! This “Session” supposedly gave him confidence in himself! Then our hero hardly ever comes into work anymore, and isn’t even reprimanded, not to mention fired. Our heroes (3 of them) decide to embezzle money from their (very generous) company. The thing backfires as they have stolen way too much money too soon, and most of the rest of the movie consists of these three idiots running around in a panic. The ending (I’ll not give it away, some poor entertainment- starved people might actually get one chuckle from this total waste) is stupid, thrown together, an afterthought. Moronic. No, it’s beyond moronic, it’s Sub-Moronic. I bought this phlegm-wad of a tape based soley on the rave reviews I read about it. PLEASE don’t make the same mistake. Funniest movie ever made? Don’t make me laugh, the movie certainly didn’t!

And finally...well, we all knew this was coming:

THE BIG LEBOWSKI was more of less a movie about three guys who bowl together. One of the guys was lucky enough to die from a heart attack. He didn’t have to suffer trying to act in an actless story. The film never got out of the gutter. By the time it was half finished, I began to realize that it wasn’t an awful movie. It was a tiresome movie. From a bunch of guys who could make humorous FARGO I expected something, anything, funny. It was a long wait and I’m still waiting. As to the dialogue, when are New Age writers going to realize that smut lines really do distract an audience from their story . . . Hey! Authors! Writers! I spent my childhood in a poolhall. Your writing is merde.

Put on your cynic's glasses. What are things that you hate that everyone else seems to like (movies, books, music, extend it to sports athletes or historical figures)? Give your one star reviews, and make them funnier than those classics above.

via media.scout.com

In addition to our interview with Alex Mack with Dawgs by Nature, we helped compile a scouting report on Zack Follett with the SBN Lions blog. Here is a snippet of what we provided, check out the rest by clicking on the link!

Zack's best strength is his pass rushing ability, to get off the edge and plant the quarterback down. He loved coming off the side and taking the quarterback out when he was called upon to do so. He's very athletic. He gets very pumped up for games, and he's capable of making game-changing plays on defense (he played a huge part in several California victories last season). He has played in both 3-4 and 4-3 schemes, so he is flexible in terms of understanding each formation regardless of where you put him.

Some of his more noticeable weaknesses include coverage and passing defense; he sometimes lets the receiver fall behind him and he plays the scheme rather than the man. His huge aggressiveness can sometimes be a detriment, because once he makes a big play he struts a little bit and doesn't exactly listen to the whistle (you'll see examples of this in the highlights).

Finally, I need to find Aaron Brooks's tailor.

via 2.bp.blogspot.com