A toast...
by Face in Brock's Armpits on Apr 24, 2009 11:41 PM PDT
Email
PrintTo everyone's favorite "Appalachian mouth breather." A K extension with an escalating salary clause?!!? What the fuck?! Meathead, thy name be Stoops.
I posit the following rationale for this dizzyingly stupid move. UA's current AD just arrived from a parallel universe, a la Earth-2, where the Bizarro Mike Stoops recently won the 2nd of back-to-back BCS bowl games whilst his brother, Bizarro Bob Stoops, remained a perennial underachiever and black sheep of the entire Stoops clan.
Just for fun i decided to run a quick google image search to locate any pictures where Stoops doesn't resemble a Paleolithic neanderthal grunting at his cavewoman to pass the mastadon ribs. Success? You be the judge.
EYE-RAPE! EYE-RAPE!
via sportsreport.freedomblogging.com
Contrast the foregoing proto-douchebag-caveman images with a shot of our main man:
via www.bcemba06.org
So fucking cool right?
I acknowledge that Stoops' douchebaggery has no limits and has been discussed @ CBG ad nauseum. However, i'm in my last round of law school finals and I LOVE procrastinating!
The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.
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Phooey
Sorry gang, busted link.
Thanks for the positive vibes Twist; I’m fairly certain you feel my pain. The “K” as in contract is a indeed a total giveaway but ever since 1L contracts i’ve never wanted to write it any other way. Any advice for tackling this unprecedentedly bad job market is welcome of course.
by Face in Brock's Armpits on Apr 25, 2009 1:50 PM PDT reply actions
What year are you in school? Are you about to graduate? Are you going itno your 2L summer?
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I'm a 3L, graduating...
But my relief is fleeting, seeing as the BAR is coming up in a few months. But temporary celebrations (read: drugs & booze) are in order.
per Hydro:
MAHARG—> I don’t know you man but if you’re REALLY serious about going to law school, here’s a good way to determine if you possess the requisite intestinal fortitude & masochism: punch yourself repeatedly in your nether-regions for about 5 minutes. Internalize that pain and moment. Make the experience as visceral as possible. Imagine that kind of mental and physical anguish for 3 straight years. Next imagine your relationship with your significant other being in a constant, tenuous flux because of the stress of school. Next, think about all the ridiculous Stoops-like douchebaggery you will be surrounded with; a bunch of losers with self-inflated senses of entitlement will be your peers. Now if you’re thinking to yourself, “Hmm, that doesn’t sound so bad…” then slap an ESQ after your name and start calling yourself Atticus Finch! Yeeeee Haaa!
by Face in Brock's Armpits on Apr 25, 2009 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
Alright, I have no idea what happened in your law school experience, but you make it sound crazy or something. Did you go to law intergalactic school for the law or something? thats like 100 crazier than normal law school?
As for getting a job after 3L year, if you dont have a job before graduation, you wont have one (most likely) until after you pass the bar. Its just a fact, no point in freaking out about it. People wont necessarily take a chance pouring resources into training somebody who has yet to pass. For right now, Id just focus on the test itself.
Then, find where you want to practice and start hustling. Hustle hustle hustle hustle. How do you hustle? Join the Bar Association of that area and attend events. Meet with 1 attorney in that area who you might know in the area who can give you the names of other attorneys. Call them for “informational interviews” where you ask them questions about practicing in that area. bla bla bla. Then, when you pass th bar, call up the ones you had a solid connection with regarding a job. Dont just send out resumes and cover letters to everybody. It wont lead to anything.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
This is one of the funniest, wisest comments ever on CGB
At least from what I hear from current law school friends.
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash Kunnath on Apr 25, 2009 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Must dumb down...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gma5IUNMTn0
Remember, the enemy's end zone is DOWN!
...the fuck was that?
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash Kunnath on Apr 25, 2009 8:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Your suspicions were correct, Twist...
I went to law school in the the same dimension featured in the film “Event Horizon” where everyone rips out their eyeballs and recites latin phrases about the end of the world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE15z7llRnw
In all seriousness though I really appreciate the advice. Hustle is the general theme of what most lawyers are telling me and I certainly will endeavor to do so.
My advice to Maharg was (mostly) constructed in jest. My point was simply that law school is tough and incredibly expensive, so it’s critical that you’re 100% doing it for the right reasons. I have no regrets about going and absolutely enjoyed my time tremendously. Made a bunch of friends 4-life too.
Man, fucking weird how a post about Mike Stoops ended up being about law school.
by Face in Brock's Armpits on Apr 25, 2009 9:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Dude, Event HOrizon was so scary! Holy shit, I was in a little ball after that one!
All Im saying is that I always heard people saying all these crazy horror stories about not only law school, but also the bar exam. And that reality just doesnt seem to exist.
Nonetheless, good luck with the bar!!!! The key is to not study as much as possible. Its an endurance race and so rest is key.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
regarding all such licensure tests....
they are a test of ‘minimum competence’ you know what you need to know. rest and focus on test taking, and specific weirdnesses of the test.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Apr 26, 2009 6:49 PM PDT up reply actions
http://www.californiagoldenblogs.com/2009/4/24/852659/a-toast#14868590
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
uhh what?
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 26, 2009 8:31 PM PDT up reply actions
I can’t speak for everybody, but whenever I watch an Arizona game, I can’t help but get the feeling that Mike Stoops is just the biggest jerk in the world. He’s constantly yelling, his face is red, he’s swearing at the refs (or his players). He gets minimal results out of his talent with the exception of the occasional upset, which really underscores his failure to use the talent he has.
Plus we lost to him twice. That’s probably more important.
The #1 greatest threat to America: BEARS
I only watch one Arizona game a year so I wouldn’t know. I was just a little confused by the randomness of this animosity.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 26, 2009 9:14 PM PDT up reply actions
You’ll understand when you’re older.
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash Kunnath on Apr 26, 2009 9:39 PM PDT up reply actions
That is the worst meme since Bork bork bork!
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 26, 2009 9:49 PM PDT up reply actions
Agreed
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
It gives people a quick and convenient way to dismiss my opinions. I’m not a fan of that.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 26, 2009 11:17 PM PDT up reply actions
You’ll understa… HAHA ::points and laughs::
STAY THIRSTY, MY FRIENDS
by Thoroughbred on Apr 27, 2009 12:23 AM PDT up reply actions
Of course Twist agrees with you. 14 year olds gotta stick together.
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash Kunnath on Apr 27, 2009 12:27 AM PDT up reply actions
Count me in too…it’s like you’re trying to drive one of the better posters away with pure unadultered smug.
BEAU SWEENEY DRINKS ZIMA
by Spazzy Mcgee on Apr 27, 2009 12:47 AM PDT up reply actions
Dude, I had to bite my tongue because I was about to say a lot of nasty stuff
But that takes a lot of nerve to call me smug, considering some of the stuff you’ve done on here to drive posters away.
If rollonubears is seriously offended by this silly meme (which is only in response to his naivete), then yes, I will cease and desist. But he sets himself up sometimes by saying things like “I don’t understand” or “why do you feel this way about X”, which are typical things for a teenager to say. And often the wisest thing to say is “you’ll understand when you’re older” because teenagers generally can’t absorb or understand our viewpoints until they’re adults.
And somehow that’s smug. Sheesh.
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash Kunnath on Apr 27, 2009 1:55 AM PDT up reply actions
Sorry Avinash, what I said was insensitive. I would just hate to lose rollonubears because a mod was repeatedly giving him crap for something he can’t control, that’s all.
BEAU SWEENEY DRINKS ZIMA
by Spazzy Mcgee on Apr 27, 2009 10:13 AM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, we’ll cut down on it. And I think we’re plenty nice to him too.
A comment from him inspired a front page post, what else do you want from us????
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash Kunnath on Apr 27, 2009 10:30 AM PDT up reply actions
Love.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 27, 2009 10:40 AM PDT up reply actions
I never said you guys weren’t nice either. But if I wasn’t a teenager yet still posted the exact same comments I think I would get a bit more respect.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 27, 2009 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYabrQrXt4A
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash Kunnath on Apr 27, 2009 11:01 AM PDT up reply actions
I know it was you Fredo.
You broke my heart. YOU BROKE MY HEART!
by Face in Brock's Armpits on Apr 27, 2009 3:40 PM PDT up reply actions
You're not a brother. You're not a friend.
I don’t want to know you or what you do.
Bork bork bork!
by Avinash Kunnath on Apr 27, 2009 3:47 PM PDT up reply actions
I’m not offended by the meme, but I feel you are kind of short-selling me there. You are saying that I won’t understand stuff if you explain it. I think I have proven that I can carry my own weight in intelligent discussions. There are some things that I don’t know yet, sure, but saying I won’t understand them is kind of dismissing me. I’m not saying you are smug or whatever but maybe a wee bit more respect would be nice.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 27, 2009 10:29 AM PDT up reply actions
You got me! I’m 50.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 27, 2009 1:49 PM PDT up reply actions
My agreement had nothing to do with Avinash’s extreme, unending, brutal, and uncontrollable smugness. Like San Francisco, the hybrid, and George Clooney’s Oscar Acceptance speech, Avinash’s smugness is off the charts!!!
Mine had more to do with the fact that nobody is evolving the joke. Its the same one liner over and over and over and over. Might as well post “How does this relate to the A-11 offense” or “I think the giants did that last year” for godssake.
I am the Tyrant Boy King Of UC Eugene! An endless cavalcade of worthless inanities is my currency!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Speaking only for myself
Let me count the reasons for Stoops animosity—
1. Maybe the cameras catch him at the wrong (or is it right?) time, but he always seems to be bitching about SOMETHING. And he generally seems to be wrong.
2. I recall an article from an Arizona paper a couple of years back where the dude basically called Tedford out as unethical in recruiting, taking the position that it is improper to continue to recruit guys who have verballed elsewhere. (Context was that CAL made a run at a guy after he’d verballed to Arizona.) Struck me as kind of a strange position to take, but whatever. But then, if memory serves, he had some gratuitous comment at the end of the article, to the effect that tactics like that don’t work because “we beat them last year anyway” (talking about the 2006 debacle that cost us the Rose Bowl).
3. The 2006 loss in Tucson was horrible enough. But there was something about his celebration that annoyed me no end.
4. General annoyance that we’ve lost to his teams. I have viewed his teams as underachieving and undisciplined. Yet, we’ve lost to them twice in the past 3 years. Granted, maybe that’s not a reason to “hate” Stoops, but fandom isn’t always rational. (I’m on record saying that the most embarrassing loss of the 2008 season was at Arizona. I stand by that. We were better than them and should have beaten them. Period.)
5. The cheap shot one of the UA defenders laid on Makonnen in the 2004 game at Tucson when Makonnen, IIRC, was not involved in the play (an INT return of a rare A-Rod pick). On some level, I still hold a grudge for that and associate Stoops with it. Again — perhaps irrational fandom, but it’s how I feel.
Marshawnthusiastic Jahvidtician and member of the PRileytariat.
Yeah, agreed about the Arizona loss this year. It was like a Cal basketball game with how infuriating it was.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 27, 2009 10:42 AM PDT up reply actions
5. Stoops is a douchebag and everyone knows it. Every time he opens his mouth (including to breathe) he confirms it.
Driver of the Cal Um Bus
by CALumbus Bear on Apr 27, 2009 1:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Taking the topic in a slightly different direction here:
I’m going to assume, based on above discussion, that Stoops is up with Neuheisel, Carroll, and Harbaugh on the hate-o-meter. Anybody care to rank those 4, or throw another Pac-10 coach up that high? (nobody actually hates Mike Riley, right?)
I’d go:
1a Neuheisal
1b Stoops
1c Harbaugh (rising fast)
2 Carroll
The #1 greatest threat to America: BEARS
Neuheisal is number 1. Nobody is even tied.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 27, 2009 11:35 PM PDT up reply actions
Agreed with you
although #0 (I’m a CS major sorry) would be any and all BruinsNations poster
In other words, Go Bears!
1. Neuheisal
2. Harbaugh
3. Stoops
.
.
.
4. Carroll
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
6. Steve Sarkisian
7. Chip Kelly
8. Dennis Erickson
9. Mike Riley (he will rise if his team continues its early season struggle —> late season dominance trend)
STAY THIRSTY, MY FRIENDS
by Thoroughbred on Apr 28, 2009 1:27 AM PDT up reply actions
I’d put a couple steps betweem CRN and the rest.
Does Wulff count?
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 28, 2009 7:20 AM PDT up reply actions
If he registers so little hate that T-bred completely forgot about his existence…no.
So, basically, you gotta Go Bears!
I’m sure Niners fans would have Erickson higher.
I'm old enough to understand. Jerks.
by rollonubears on Apr 28, 2009 10:56 AM PDT up reply actions
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