FanPost

DBD 3.25.09 Celeeffurnia Guldee Blugs

Joe Starkey had to leave for a prior engagement, so he had a stand-in finish the playcalling of the 1982 Big Game. Translators eventually allowed Starkey to sub in the lines later on...but the process took several months. We have not managed to find the original translation. Until now.

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via farm1.static.flickr.com

Evesume-a, floo ooff imushun beck und furt, greet fuutbell. Vell, thees is sume-a shoo I'll tell yuu. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Und noo zee Beers in a seemeengly impusseeble-a seetooeshun. Zeey hefe-a oonly oone-a teeme-a-oooot lefft. Um de hur de hur de hur. Zeey pretty vell hefe-a tu roon it beck... tu sefe-a zee geme-a und buy, telk ebuoot a heertbreekeeng vey tu luse-a....Boot vhet a greet vey tu veen iff yuoo ere-a a Stunffurd fun. 8 secunds tu gu, 35 yerd keeck by Hermun. Bork bork bork! It'll gu reeght up zeere-a veet Lungffurd's keeck in '74, vheech ves foorzeer ooff cuoorse-a...a 50 yerder et zee boozzer.

Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Zee Beers' prublem is. Um gesh dee bork, bork!..thet elthuoogh zee keeck-ooffff veell noo cume-a frum zee 25 yerd leene-a, it's unleekely thet Furd cun get zee bell und get oooot ooff buoonds fer inuoogh upffeeeld tu set up oone-a try et zee feeeld guel. Vhet a recufery by Stunffurd; yuoo hefe-a tu geefe-a zeem ell surts ooff credeet. Um de hur de hur de hur. 4t und 17 et zeeur oovn 13 yd. Bork bork bork! leene-a, und it beets stereeng et zeem in zee fece-a, und zeey sefed it. Um de hur de hur de hur. Zeey poolled it oooot. Um de hur de hur de hur. Vhet a shoo.

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via pierreseguin.ca

Elreeght here-a ve-a gu veet zee keeck-ooffff. Hermun veell prubebly try tu sqooeeb it und he-a dues. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Bell cumes luuse-a und zee Beers hefe-a tu get oooot ooff buoonds. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Rugers elung zee seedeline-a, unuzeer oone-a...zeey're-a steell in deep truooble-a et meedffield, zeey treeed tu du a cuoople-a ooff....zee bell is steell luuse-a es zeey get it tu Rugers. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeey get it beck tu zee 30, zeey're-a doon tu zee 20...Ooh zee bund is oooot oon zee feeeld!! He's gunna gu intu zee indzune-a!!! He-a gut intu zee indzune-a!! Veell it cuoont? Zee Beers hefe-a scured boot zee bunds ere-a oooot oon zee feeeld. Bork bork bork!

Zeere-a vere-a flegs ell oofer zee plece-a. Veeet und see-a vhet heppens; ve-a dun't knoo vhu vun zee geme-a. Zeere-a ere-a flegs oon zee feeeld. Bork bork bork! Ve-a hefe-a tu see-a vhezeer oor nut zee flegs ere-a egeeenst Stunffurd oor Cel. Zee Beers mey hefe-a mede-a sume-a illegel leterels. Um gesh dee bork, bork! It cuoold be-a thet it vun't cuoont. Um de hur de hur de hur. Zee Beers, beleeefe-a it oor nut, tuuk it ell zee vey intu zee indzune-a. Iff zee penelty is egeeenst Stunffurd, Celeeffurnia vuoold veen zee geme-a. Iff it is nut, zee geme-a is oofer und Stunffurd hes vun. Bork bork bork! Ve'fe-a heerd nu deceesiun yet. Um de hur de hur de hur. Iferybudy is meelling eruoond oon zee FIELD!!! END THE BEERS!!! THE BEERS HEFE VON!!! THE BEERS HEFE VON!!! Ooh my Gud, zee must emezeeng, senseshunel, troometeec, heert rendeeng... ixceeting threelling feenish in zee heestury ooff cullege-a fuutbell! Celeeffurnia hes vun. Bork bork bork!..zee Beeg Geme-a...oofer Stunffurd. Bork bork bork! Ooh ixcoose-a me-a fur my fueece-a, boot I hefe-a nefer, nefer seee unytheeng leeke-a it in zee heestury ooff I hefe-a ifer seee uny geme-a in my leeffe-a! Zee Beers hefe-a vun it! Zeere-a veell be-a nu ixtra pueent! Huld it reeght here-a, dun't unybudy gu evey. Bork bork bork!...

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via roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com

 

The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.

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