FanPost

DBD 2-5-09: With HYPHENS

You dot people are so smug.  It always has to be MM.DD.YY, no questions asked.  Hey, I've got an idea - (note the hyphen) - (note the other hyphen) - let's separate our numbers by the smallest discernable space, a puny dot, so they run together and people with bad eyes and computers more than 3 inches away from their heads can't tell if it's 12.1.09 or 1.21.09.  That's a great idea, let's confuse our readers so we don't know what day it is, and then fill the DBD with the same inanity every day so it doesn't even matter which one they read.

Well that is going to - change.  I am going to start using hyphens to separate words that don't even - need to be separated, and there is nothing you can do about - it - dot people.  I won't even use them as comma substitutes, as I sometimes do because I - am a horrible writer.  I'll just use them whenever I feel like it, to make up for this dot monopoly that is driving everyone insane.  -

So why am I even up this early?  Is it because I had some pretty scary dreams about crocodiles?  Did I dream that I was on a sandy beach infested with crocodiles, and that sometimes I would have to walk down to the water's edge, and that I would sit very still as the crocodiles walked right by me and sometimes over me?  Did I actually talk to a crocodile and explain why I wasn't stopping at a particular spot in the sand so that he wouldn't eat me?  Did some bald guy that kind of reminded me of bulldog from Fraiser get bitten by a croc, so he was bleeding when we were told we had to fight three or four crocodiles as our final challenge?  Did RemoursefulBruinBabe have to sit on a crocodile's lap in a bucket seat in the van I was driving while the smell of fresh blood wafted through the air?

I'm a bit of a hypochondriac, but did I really just dream that I had a degenerative brain disorder called MD4 which causes paranoid dreams about things like car crashes, and then say to myself, well, this one was about crocodiles, but it's still pretty paranoid - before I woke up?  Did I just have a paranoid dream about having a horrible ailment which was supported in theory by another paranoid dream?  Chicken and the egg kind of thing, yeah, yeah, no?

Or am I awake because I'm trying to buy tickets for my family to the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, and in the email they said they would be available no earlier than 10AM EST which apparently means that after waiting around for an hour I will get in the shower and they will go on-sale immediately and all of the gold medeal curling tickets will be gone before you can say HONK?

Well you know what?  It is BOTH.  That's right, both.  And neither of them is really working for me right now, but Twist is going to be really pissed that he can't post his Gossip Girl or Twilight DBD because I beat him to the punch.  That's what kept me going through that rough patch I hit (pretty much after the first hyphen).  So Twist, I win.  Now bring me links.  I mean - now - bring me links.

The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.

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