DBD 2.9.09 Thank you, Bruins102NCAA, may I have another?

Yes, I said it.  I'll go there.  I went there, I painted Bruins102NCAA's portrait naked, made sweet love to him in a steamed up Ford Model T, and then came back.

Why?  Why did I just disturb you all with that mental image?  Because Bruins102NCAA is, stunningly, a cool UCLA fan.  Czech it out!  This is after the UCLA-Cal b-ball game.

Sure, it's not the funniest joke in the world.  And the rape thing is a bit edgy.  Just like urine.  You might say, but what about his name?  It just screams "online scrap book covering the greatest collegiate athletic program in the nation."  102!  102!  So delightfully Bruins Nation.

You'd think Bruins102NCAA would be a humor-less automaton focused more on the enslavement of the human race solely for Bruins enjoyment.  But no!  He has a sense of humor.  But its a major new step.  It is:

1.  A Bruins Nation-ite.

2.  Making a joke (that alone would be enough, really)

3.  At our expense

4.  USING HONK!!!!

Let's recap.  Being mocked by a Bruins Nation-ite, no matter the kwality of the joke, is huge.  Especially considering they are speaking our language.  WE'VE DRAGGED THEM DOWN TO OUR LEVEL!  We got one to speak fluent CGBese.  Normally, they congregate apart with their attached air of disdain.  So different from our detached air of disdain. 

See, their air of haughty disdain stems from athletic success.  When their teams are doing great, they aren't afraid to remind us (102!!!!).  When their teams are doing poorly, they keep their mouths shut.  And talk reasonably. 

But we, we never talk reasonably.  Because our air of haughty disdain has NOTHING TO DO WITH ATHLETIC SUCCESS!  We're from Cal.  We've rarely had athletic success.  Failure only emboldens us.  This 102 guy thinks he can mock us after our team loses, he only gives us strength.  That's his fatal error.  To him, the losing team shouldn't be able to talk back, because, yknow, we should be attached to our loss.  Thank god, we aren't!

And it makes me so happy.  Because that's how it should be.  Independent of real world events, we should mock the ever-living shit out of each other.  That's how we do it with AtQ, BtD, and other friendly SBNation-States.  Push each other to ever increasing heights of comedic dumb-assery.  Use the inane as a weapon to cover for our emotional emptiness.  Some might fill it with the athletic success of a public college.  We'll fill it with the inner tears of our purported friends. 

In conclusion, The Maharg is a despicably foolish fellow, not worthy of even the bottom of my feet. 

PS Mock us more, Bruins Nation-ites.  Come to our level.  You know you want to.  Bring It On.

Cal women beat WSU:

PULLMAN, Wash. -- The California Golden Bears (20-2, 11-0 Pac-10) extended their win streak to 12 games with a 74-54 victory over the Washington State Cougars (8-14, 2-9 Pac-10).

The Bears started the game making five of their first six shots, opening up with an 11-3 run. The Cougars took advantage of Cal turnovers to get back into the game, mounting an 8-2 run to pull within two points, 23-21. Junior guard Lauren Greif's 3-pointer broke WSU's momentum, and the Bears outscored the Cougars 20-7 the rest of the half for a 43-28 halftime lead. Cal shot 63 percent in the first half, while WSU was shooting just 34 percent.

The Bears scored the first seven points of the second half for a 50-28 lead and coasted to a 12th straight win that extended their school record.

Senior forward Ashley Walker, leading scorer in the Pac-10, scored 18 points and grabbed 11 rebounds in just 24 minutes. Walker's 11 rebounds gave her 1,002 in her career, just the second Cal player to reach that milestone and the ninth player in Pac-10 history to record 1,000 rebounds.

"It's very cool," the 6-foot-1 senior said of her 1,000th rebound. "It's something that hasn't been done in a very long time."

Coach Boyles post-game quotes:

"This was a good weekend for us. It was a good game. I thought we came out really strong in the first half. We had a lull there, which happens. It's part of the ups and downs of the game. I think Jane always does a good job of rotating kids in and making us play outside of ourselves, which we had to do for awhile. I think we regrouped before going into the half and then came out really strong in the second half."

"We had 11 turnovers at the half, most of them unforced. We seemed to be chucking the ball away. We were giving them easy opportunities to score. And then we were coming down and not getting stops. I think we lost focus. There was a stretch of five or six minutes when I just felt we weren't in synch. I was disappointed in that chunk of the first half. But I think we regrouped and did a great job at the start of the second half."

"We got to play a lot of kids and finally got to rest some of our starters, something we don't often get to do. It's nice to be able to get some significant minutes for the other kids. It was especially good for our freshman point guard Casey Morris to get some time out on the floor without the veterans, where she really had to run the floor."

"(WSU freshman guard) Jazmine Perkins did a great job when they came down to play us. We focused more on her this time, changed our defense up on her and tried to hard hedge ball screens and take the ball out of the guards hands. I think their posts scored more for them tonight instead of their guards. They're so guard oriented. Their other guard, April Cook, really stepped up for them. They are a tough team to take everything away from. They're young and they're leaning. They play hard. They're going to be a different team down the stretch. Growing pains. Their freshmen are playing major minutes, playing through their mistakes. They are going to be better sophomores for it."

Cal men also beat WSU:

Patrick Christopher scored 20 points, Jerome Randle hit four 3-pointers among his 20 points, and California kept pace in the Pac-10 race with a 71-63 victory over Washington State on Saturday night.

Theo Robertson also had four 3-pointers and 17 points for the Golden Bears (18-6, 7-4 Pac-10), who avenged a 21-point home loss to the Cougars last season by sweeping the season series from Washington State.

Taylor Rochestie scored 19 points and hit four 3-pointers for Washington State (12-11, 4-7) in its fifth loss in six games. Freshman Klay Thompson had 15 points, and Caleb Forrest added 13 at the close of a winless weekend trip for the Cougars, who have lost 10 of 16 overall.

After Thompson's back-to-back 3-pointers tied it with 2:51 left, Randle hit two free throws and made a superb no-look pass to Robertson for another score as the Golden Bears scored seven straight points, finishing a tight game on an 11-3 run.

Cal defeats Stanford rugby:

STANFORD - Playing its third match in four days, California beat Stanford at Steuber Rugby Stadium, 58-7, on Sunday to retain the Scum Axe, notching nine tries and three penalty kicks.

The Cardinal averted a shutout with a converted try midway through the second half.

Flyhalf James Bailes connected on three first-half penalty kicks to complement tries by fullback Colin Hawley and inside center Blaine Scully, leaving the halftime score 19-0. Both Hawley and Scully scored second-half tries as well.

Cal (15-0) next travels to the San Diego Invitational Friday, Feb. 13, to face Wyoming (11:30 a.m.), Virginia Military Institute (1 p.m.) and Navy (2:30 p.m.) at the Del Mar Polo Grounds. In VMI, the triple-header offers an opportunity for the youngest members of the Bears, with Wyoming and Navy both frequent national postseason participants.

The Bears finally return home for a midweek tilt against Sacramento State on Wednesday, Feb. 18, at 6:30 p.m. before they welcome the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds on Saturday, Feb. 21, to mark the opening round of the 2009 "World Cup" as their Homecoming celebration - a 1 p.m. match that will be rebroadcast as the National Guard Game of the Week on ESPNU, with commemorative advance tickets available by calling (800) GO BEARS or visiting the Athletics Ticket Office at 2223 Fulton Street, 1st Floor.

Softball beat Fordham:

Palm Springs, Calif. - No. 14 Cal put up six runs in the first inning, then gave up six runs in the fourth, but eventually held on for an 11-7 victory in the final day of the Cathedral City Kickoff on Sunday morning. Gina Leomiti and Shannon Thomas both had two runs in the win. The game was moved an hour ahead of its original 9:00 a.m. start time.

The Golden Bears, who are 4-0 for the first time since 2006, will next be in action at the Carolina Classic, Feb. 13-15 in Chapel Hill, NC.

Cal outscored its opponents 45-11, including 21-1 in the first three innings, in the three-day tournament. The Boise State game was cancelled on Saturday and Cal did not schedule a fifth game.

The game started out perfectly for the Bears with a six-run first inning. Valerie Arioto led off the inning with a single through the left side and eventually reached third base on a sacrifice bunt coupled with a fielding error. Two batters later, Leomiti reached on a fielding miscue which allowed Arioto and Thomas to score. Later in the inning, one of Cal's standout freshman, Frani Echavarria, planted a single up the middle to plate two more runs (Leomiti and Jamia Reid), which was followed nicely by a Taylor Kelly two-run blast over the left-center field wall.

Cal made it 7-0 after two innings when Thomas safely stole home plate.

Womens Lacrosse wins opener over Fresno State:

FRESNO, Calif. - California routed first-year program Fresno State, 19-0, in both teams' season opener and the Bulldogs' first official game on Saturday at Bulldog Stadium. Golden Bears senior goalkeeper Morgan Dyson played every minute in goal and recorded Cal's first complete-game shutout since 2000, the Bears' second year of existence, and Cal senior attacker Sam Price led all scorers with seven points (4 goals, 3 assists). The Bears have a 1-0 record (1-0 in the Mountain Pacific Sports Federation) after its conference match with the Bulldogs, while Fresno State starts out 0-1 (0-1 MPSF).

"It was really neat to be part of their historic day," Cal head coach Theresa Sherry said. "They did a lot before the game - the color guard played the national anthem, they had the team run out like through a football tunnel, there were a lot of fans. It was a great atmosphere to be part of. Also, they put pressure on us early. That was good for us to get the nerves out and get the season underway."

Mens tennis beats Hawaii:

The No. 24-ranked California men's tennis team (3-2) got back into the win column with a 4-3 victory over No. 54 Hawai'i (1-2) today at the Hellman Tennis Complex. The Golden Bears had beaten the Warriors, 6-1, on the islands in their first match of the dual season and were able to pull out the win at home as No. 49-ranked junior Kallim Stewart completed his court-two match with a 6-4, 6-3 win over Leo Rosenberg.

Starting with doubles, Cal fell behind first as Stewart and freshman Nick Andrews lost on court two, 8-5, to Dennis Lajola and Andreas Weber. The Bears knotted up the doubles point when the No. 16-ranked team of senior Geoff Chizever and sophomore Pedro Zerbini posted an 8-5 score of their own on the top court, beating Rosenberg and Jeff Fitch.

With the match knotted at three-all on the third doubles court, senior Eoin Heavey and sophomore Jonathan Dahan broke the Hawai'i serve twice to go up, 6-3 on Sascha Heinemann and Spencer Mendoza. The Bears held serve and then broke once more in the final game to clinch the doubles point for Cal.

Cal wasted no time going up 2-0 in the match as Katsarov got off court first when he defeated Mendoza, 6-4. 6-1, in singles. One court over, Heavey dropped a 6-4, 7-5 win on Fitch to push the Bears to a commanding 3-0 lead. Stewart finished up next on court two to give Cal the 4-0 lead and the match winner.

After clinching, the Bears surrendered the final three points of the match. The first Bear to fall was Andrews, who came away with a 6-4 win in the first set before dropping consecutive 6-1 sets to Heinemann on court four. Dahan couldn't take a set off Weber on court three and fell 6-4, 6-2. On the top singles court, No. 72-ranked Zerbini fought through a leg injury to force a third-set super tiebreaker but could not get past No. 56 Lajola as the Warriors pressed for a 10-8 win to close the day in defeat, 4-3.

Womens water polo beats CSU:

FORT COLLINS, Colo. - The No. 5 California women's water polo team won the Colorado State Invitational this weekend after posting a 5-0 record in the tournament. The Golden Bears solidified their first-place finish with a 15-7 win against host team CSU on Sunday afternoon.

Junior Camille Hewko paced the Bears with five goals. The Bears are now 11-0 overall this season.

As it has been their style this season, Cal built a large lead to start the game - this afternoon it was a 10-3 advantage at the halftime break. The second half was a closer contest than the first, with Colorado State adding four goals late in the fourth period. In all, Cal outscored the Rams, 5-4, in the second half to take the game, 15-7.

The Bears open their Mountain Pacific Sports Federation campaign Saturday, Feb. 14 at San Jose State for a noontime match.

Cal beats Illinois:

Palm Springs, Calif. - Early morning rains might have put a damper on the Cal-Boise State game, but it didn't keep the No. 14-ranked Golden Bears from playing and winning their second game by a 9-1 count over Illinois (in six innings) at the Cathedral City Kickoff on Saturday afternoon. Cal has outscored its opponents 34-4 thus far in two days in Palm Springs.

Cal (3-0) is scheduled to play Fordham on Sunday in the final day of the tournament at 9:00 a.m. The Boise State game will not be made up. The last time Cal started the season 3-0 was in 2006.

The Bears were led by freshman Jamia Reid, who has been on a tear this tournament after connecting for her third home run. Not to be outdone by the freshman, junior Vernae Sevilla hit her second home run in as many days courtesy of a grand slam (the first of her career) in the bottom of the fourth inning.

Cal wasted little time in putting runs on the board with two in the first inning. Valerie Arioto got the ball rolling with a leadoff triple to center field and did not squander any time on the base pads after Jamia Reid planted a two-run home run over the left field wall.

The Bears added another run in the third stanza when Gina Leomiti, who recorded an infield single, scored on a wild pitch. Despite scoring the run, the Bears left two stranded on base.

Womens water polo also beats another team:

FORT COLLINS, Colo. -The No. 5 California women's water polo team handily defeated Fresno Pacific, 23-4, Sunday morning at the Colorado State Invitational. The Golden Bears, who are now 10-0 overall and 4-0 in the tournament, advance to the championship game at 12:30 p.m. PST against host team CSU.

Cal built an insurmountable lead in the first half - scoring nine goals in the first quarter and seven in the second. Fresno Pacific had its best period in the third quarter with three goals while Cal scored five. The Bears added on an extra two in the final period to bring the final score to 23-4.

Coral Kemp had a team-high and personal best of four goals. Goalkeeper Lauren Burke had 13 saves while Stephanie Peckham had two.

Male gymnasts receive honors:

LAS VEGAS - Two Golden Bears - sophomore Kyle Bunthuwong and four-year letterwinner and current graduate intern Tim McNeill - earned selection to the U.S. Senior National Team based on their performance at the Winter Cup Challenge.

"It has been a very successful weekend for the University of California men's gymnastics program," Cal head coach Barry Weiner said. "We're excited. There's a lot more for us to be done. I think at U.S. Championship, we could even increase the number of Bears on the U.S. senior national team. I'm proud of and excited for Kyle to make the team as a sophomore. I'm also happy that Tim was able to hang in there and make the team was well."

Kyle Bunthuwong finished sixth in the all-around with 172.100 points. Senior Kyson Bunthuwong was eighth overall at 171.400 and freshman Glen Ishino was 15th with 167.700.

McNeill matched his Thursday score of 14.600 on parallel bars.

GO BEARS!!