DBD 12.08.09 Female Christmas Wish List
by AndBears on Dec 8, 2009 8:05 AM PST
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Per Danzig's request, I have tried to compile a nice list of what a woman would want for the Holidays. BUT, disclaimer, if I know anything about women, it's that they like what they like. Every woman is different and should be treated as so. The point is to know your woman and to show her that.
With that disclaimer in mind, I've tried to break the presents into categories. Thanks to Kolwave *who's birthday was yesterday* for her fantastic input. I've also reposted since1997's contribution as well from yesterday's DBD.
Hobbies - hiking books, cookie books, membership to museums or zoos, movie tickets. Subscriptions to DIY mags. I find this works best with younger women, as older women tend to have/get all the things they want. As for me, I love cookbooks, even if I take only 1 or 2 recipes from each. And thus, I have dozens.
From Kolwave:
Oh, and I don't want to encourage the guys' wonderful ideas of "get back to the kitchen" casserole dishes, but if your girl is into cooking/baking, a Kitchenaid Mixer is supposedly a Big Deal. My roommate has been hankering for one for years, and decided to ask her family to join together and get her one this Christmas.
Board Games!
Sexy - erotica (short story books.) This you have to really use at your own discretion, and it should never be the only thing you buy her unless you are in the first 4 months of dating. But it could be a fun/sexy stocking stuffer (if you know what I mean). Good Vibes has fantastic books and toys and usually publishes a 'best short story erotica of the year'. If you feel she'd really like lingerie (and it's risky) good luck going to a store. I hear shopping by yourself is quite weird, and I think having another girl to get fun but not slutty might not be a bad idea. It's also risky because you may not know her size, and sometimes things just fit weird even if they are the right size (especially in the boob region)
Jewelry - check to see what types she usually wears. For instance, I tend to wear silver, white gold and pearls - classic and subdued. Others may tend to wear more gold, a little more daring (and currently expensive) but still beloved. This gold/silver thing may be dictated by her skin tone, thus she may fall into one side or the other. If she is especially stylish, or frankly every babyboomer I know, she may like colorful baubles with big jewels or stones or Unique jewelry (e.g. Telegraph Ave silver ring lady named Diana). Unless she's trying to round out her collection (i.e. "boy, I really wish I had gold hoop earings") she'll always appreciate more of what she likes.
Exotic flavors - fancy sodas, wines they've wantng to try, Exotic coffee or chocolate - evenings out! If they love fresh cookies, but don't bake, premade holiday themed cookie dough (in a box with mixing bowl). (again as a side dish). One idea is the 'high tea' served at some fancier hotels and SF spots.
From Kolwave:
Any outing where every last detail is planned by the guy. Doesn't have to be >1 day. But still, you take care of the travel arrangements (including, for example, places to eat / stop along the way), what to do when you get there, bringing meals/snacks along if necessary ... all the girl has to do is bring what you tell her. For example, I'd like a day trip somewhere in NorCal. So, the guy would tell me to get dressed for a hike, bring good road-trip music, find a nice place to eat along the way, pack a nice picnic (or stock granola bars and a coffee thermos, whatever), pick a good hike / fun activity, call ahead to make sure that the destination will be open, check the weather, and plan out a sensible timeline for the whole day. I dunno, listing all this out sounds like a lot, but realistically, this is what I find myself doing whenever I'm in charge of planning an outing. There's a fair amount to think about and try to anticipate, and if the guy does all this for a change, the girl will definitely appreciate the effort. Hopefully no "oh crap, I totally didn't think about that" moments. Instead, see if you can plan a good time and anticipate everything that might be needed for that to happen (or in case something does awry).
comfort - scarves, bath things, toe socks (if they're into it). Sephora (beauty) and bath and body works are nice, and you could always get a gift card or basket gift.
From since1997:
So re Danzig’s earlier request: I GOT IT. Gift certificate for a luxurious spa. Mani/Pedi then a 1hour massage. ~$200 The beauty of this is you’ll reap the benefits the massage… er… worked up when you pick up your special gal from the spa and TAKE HER home. If you don’t know what a luxe spa is… it’s on the level of a Burke Williams, Exhale, etc. All the 5-star hotels should have a great one too. The St. Regis and Huntington hotels in SF have fantastic ones. That’s my contribution towards male-female peace plus 1000+
extensions of stupid jokes - plush syphillus, Pride and Prejudice with Zombies. This is probably 1/2 of the gifts Rags and I give eachother. This may be another use your own judgement gift.
upgrades on stuff she loves - phone accessories, watch/ring upgrades, nicer pjs.
-> warning, don't try to replace something she loves. For instance if she has 5 purses and always takes 1 everywhere she goes, don't expect a new one to win out over the favorite.
Again, Kolwave:
Pick a feel-good cause that the girl supports, e.g. Habitat for Humanity, and go out and spend the day together volunteering. Again, this'll require some advance planning. Call ahead, get a volunteer spot, stop for coffee/fresh pastries (I know, really specific, but I'm just imagining what I would like) on the way, spend the day racking up good karma, and then go out to dinner afterwards. Maybe tell her to bring along a change of clothes/toiletries in case you actually do do HoH and get kinda grungy.
Time with a puppy? - I can get you a good deal!
video games - rock band, group games, little big planet, new mario game. Not as crazy an idea as you may think, I personally love the lego genre games. Do not, REPEAT DO NOT, get something for yourself.
Music - Concert tickets for bands she likes. (again another experience) CDs or paraphenalia, gift sets. (New and classic, even holiday themed)
photos of family, these are always a good gift. I've been told that moms/grandmoms always love this. Framed art (by artist/photog you know she likes. Bonus: you took the extra step and handled the framing chore).
Being a big Cal Fan, I tried to think of Cal themed gifts, but other than the usual stuff, there isn't anything specifically female. You could always just shop the Cal Student Store and pick her up something fun. Cal Hats, Scarves, extensions of game day traditions (i.e. game faces?) (maybe a sweater for your armored dog).
If you're completely confused, try this: http://www.gifts.com/ - shop by personality. It will at least give you some ideas.
Last Note from Kolwave:
I'm kinda with AndBears ... I'm not much of a traditional girly-item shopper/accumulator/hankerer. Sure, I do happen to have a "Get for Self" list on my blackberry, but the main frivolous items on it are an art print I've had my eye on, and 3 fun graphic tees, despite the fact that I only wear tees/jeans on weekends nowadays. Don't like changing my jewelry, I wear the same pieces every day, and I don't like diamonds anyway (yeah, because gold-mining is so much more environmentally friendly).
Finally, I'll be checking in today since I'm in finals for my grad program (puff pastries, noooooo!) But one final thought, be on the look out for the unintended message. If you put all your gifts together, do they say something? Rags and I still laugh at the fact that he kept buying me cookware and lingerie, but I do enjoy pjs and cooking. Other women might wonder.
p.s. thanks for your patience!
The opinions expressed in a FanPost are, in every way, reflective of the opinions of every California Golden Blogs Marshawnthusiast. Moreover, they are reflective of every employee of SBNation, including Tyler "Blez" Bleszinski.
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This seems to be about the worst DBD to be out all day on, oh well. Here are some stories:
Mens BBall to take on Pacific:
California Golden Bears (5-3) at Pacific Tigers (6-1)
Wednesday, Dec. 9, 7:00 p.m. (PT), Stockton Arena, Stockton, Calif.
Radio: KFRC 1550 AM TV: Big West TV
Still trying to get its starters fully healthy, California stays local this week facing Pacific in Stockton. The Golden Bears are coming off of an 82-63 victory against Iowa State last Saturday. Cal and Pacific tip off on Wednesday, Dec. 9, at 7 p.m. at the Stockton Arena.
Senior guard Patrick Christopher and sophomore forward Omondi Amoke each tallied double-doubles – the second and third of the season for Cal. It was the third time in the last four games that Amoke has paced the Bears on the boards. For Christopher, it was his second 20-point outing of the season, and he tied his career high with 11 rebounds. He is 16th on the all-time scoring chart with 1,272 points. He is tied for 10th on Cal’s list for career three-pointers with 122.
Senior guard Jerome Randle boasted 18 points against the Cyclones. Randle now has 1,345 career points and is 13th all-time in school history. Randle is three three-pointers away from second on Cal’s all-time three-point list. He currently has 180. Randle is also fourth on Cal’s all-time assist list with 414. He remains Cal’s leading scorer, averaging 20.1 ppg – fifth best in the Pac-10.
Sophomore guard Jorge Gutierrez came up two points shy of tying his personal best against Iowa State. He finished the game with 12 points, and tied his season high in rebounds with four.
Scoring has not been a problem for the Bears this season. Despite missing key players from injuries and illnesses, Cal has scored at least 70 points in every contest and has topped 80 points four times. The Bears scored their season-high total of 95 points against Detroit on Nov. 11.
President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I’m so excited for this game. Not so much the opponent, but because for the first time ever, a Cal revenue sport is playing a game in my town, 5 minutes from my house. It was difficult to get excited for women’s field hockey and soccer all the time.
Dude I’ve always heard Stockton is kinda nasty. What is life actually like there? Is the bad hype overblown?
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 10:38 AM PST up reply actions
Don’t get me wrong. There’s some nasty parts, and the stats aren’t made up. It can be a very violent place, but very avoidable with common sense. if you don’t have business being out and about at 3:00am, I would advise against it, but it’s like any other city. The crappy areas are just really crappy. I live in an area of old quaint, houses that could pass for a neighborhood in north Berkeley. My neighbors are awesome, and I was actually able to afford to buy a house on a social worker’s salary which ain’t much. UOP is also a gorgeous campus and isn’t too far from where I live. What sucks is the culture. Your average person is way under-educated, and unemployment is really high, along with the rest of the central valley. I think that’s one of biggest contributors to the “dinginess”. The thing I like best is the people. I’ve met some amazing, genuine people here. I love the bay area, and I’d move back if I could, but it can be full of pretentious, arrogant douch-nozzles.
I agree. I mean I live in Oakland so I know all about bad hype. Basically as long as you’re not a black or hispanic drug dealer somewhere in a half mile radius around the Acorn housing projects or 70th and MacArthur at 3am after a sideshow, you have like a .00001% chance of being shot.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
My mom once described Stockton as a city ’with all the disadvantages of a big city (crime, sprawl, blight) with none of the advantages (culture, parks, unique attributes, etc.) I tend to agree with her even though I have lots of positive childhood memories of Pacific basketball and football games, the San Joaquin County fair and Stockton Zoo trips.
The #1 greatest threat to America: BEARS
It’s got its little pockets and unique mom and pop places to eat or get coffee, but she’s right. There’s nothing that screams, “Come visit Stockton.” It has the advantage of being centrally located to pretty much anywhere which is sort of depressing because it implies you have to go anywhere else to do anything cool. But then again, my house payment including taxes is less than what some of you bay area people are paying to share a bedroom. Plus, I have the added advantage of instant street cred when I tell people I live there.
STRAIGHT OUTTA STOCKTON.
"Let me tell you a story. I was a political prisoner for two years. The instant I was released I ran to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a Coke.
It was fantastic."
-Toyama Koichi, US Presidential candidate from Japan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGZqOkeYbB0
Crazy mutha ucker named Dallas!
Cal Football: I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you. Never love anything.
by CalBandGreat on Dec 8, 2009 11:55 PM PST up reply actions
Cal Bears make all Pac10 team:
WALNUT CREEK – Five Cal football student-athletes – DL Tyson Alualu, P Bryan Anger, LB Mike Mohamed, OL Mike Tepper and DB Syd’Quan Thompson – were selected to the All-Pac-10 first-team in a vote of conference coaches announced by the Pac-10 office Monday. Cal’s five first-team selections tied for the second-most in the conference. Oregon State led the way with seven and was followed by Cal, UCLA and USC with five each, Stanford with three, and Arizona State and Oregon with one.
TB Jahvid Best was a second-team selection.
DB Sean Cattouse, OL Chris Guarnero, DL Cameron Jordan, TE Anthony Miller, OT Mitchell Schwartz and TB Shane Vereen were honorable mention choices.
Oregon head coach Chip Kelly was named the conference’s Coach of the Year, while top player honors went to Stanford running back Toby Gerhart (Offensive Player of the Year), UCLA defensive tackle Brian Price (Pat Tillman Defensive Player of the Year), Oregon running back LaMichael James (Offensive Freshman of the Year) and Arizona State linebacker Vontaze Burfict (Defensive Freshman of the Year).
President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
anyone else surprised tepper made first team? would have liked to see MSG make hon. mention, but he did miss like 4/9ths of the league games.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
I’ll admit I was surprised, and it made me question my harsh assessment of Tepper’s play throughout the season. There were a few high-profile failures, but perhaps the rest of the time he was dominating. Either way, he apparently played well enough that the coaches voted him first team, so congrats to Tepper.
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:21 AM PST up reply actions
Like I said last night: Meh. Congrats to him. I have no problem if the opposing coaches are misinformed about Cal players.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:23 AM PST up reply actions
This
Cal Football: I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you. Never love anything.
by CalBandGreat on Dec 8, 2009 11:23 AM PST up reply actions
I mean, Cal gave up 26 sacks…not quite Marshall/Texans bad but jesus.
Will Tepper get drafted? If not, I think this kind of validates our thinking.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
He’ll get a combine invite…other than that, i dunno.
let’s just say his competition across the league wasn’t too great either
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:27 AM PST up reply actions
I used to try to buy gifts for my wife and have completely given up.
Problem #1: Fire Starkey hates shopping, does not shop, therefore is a terrible gift giver.
Problem #2: Mrs. Fire Starkey buys whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
Problem #3: Mrs. Fire Starkey has an extremely lengthy laundry list of things that are not suitable to give her as a birthday/Xmas present. This includes books (doesn’t read much), gift cards (impersonal), household appliances (sexist pig!), tools (she’s very handy around the house…I am very not handy- still not gift worthy), clothes (apparently my taste sucks), flowers (they’ll die), gadgets (doesn’t care for them)…I could go on and on.
I did the Spa thing once. She really liked the idea of it but the experience was just “meh” for her so she told me not to bother in future.
I used to buy her jewelry but she told me to knock that off too since a) my taste sucks apparently and b) she thinks she owned every piece of jewelry possible in our price range.
The solution we’ve come to? She asks me if she can buy something for x dollars and I say yes. Merry Christmas Babe!
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
okay, okay, I do have to say, that like being a good performer and being a good sport, being a good gift giver/receiver does include accepting presents well (as in accepting compliments) and being easy to buy for.
My mom is strictly in the ‘comfort category’, I tried to buy her framed art of an artist she liked, and she cried because it was ugly and therefore I thought she was ugly… so she only gets bath things and is happy about it. So even we women get caught in it.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
You see my conundrum. She doesn’t NEED anything since she buys whatever she needs at the time. She only WANTS a few things, ususally something that I would never think of (embroidery machine FTW!!!!). So we’ve found a happy medium, we each spend money on something we want ourselves. For me, thats usually Amazon.com (although she always ends up giving me a few small things). For her… it varies.
I gave up a long time ago after she returned something I had given her that I actually had spent some time on thinking through. I found it incredibly offensive that she would do that and we got into a monster brawl. This was the solution and we’ve not had a fight about it since.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
Not to be all psycho-analytical , but what is looks like is Mrs. Fire Starkey is not a gift person. I recommend a book called “The Five Love Languages.” Extremely insightful in how we communicate love as well as receive it. I’m going off the top of my head, but besides receiving gifts, some of the others include quality time, acts of service, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Some of the categories AndBears listed touch on these things. For instance, planning some activity would totally coincide with quality time. I have no emotional response to receiving gifts. It’s nice that I get stuff and don’t have to pay for it, but I’m far happier going out and doing fun things with my family or friends.
I believe she likes to shop for herself more than anything else. My Mom’s last few attempts at giving gifts have ended abysmally as well (not much love lost between those 2 however).
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:13 AM PST up reply actions
Are you good at cooking? If not, cook her a really nice elaborate meal with many courses that takes a long time to prepare and is personalized to foods she likes. I stress that you NOT be good at cooking because she’ll see you’re outside your comfort zone and thus spending a lot of time and energy doing something that makes you unhappy with the idea of making her happy. Chances are the dishes will turn out fine, and if you fuck up one, it’s ok, it’s just one dish. Either way she’ll be really impressed at the effort.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 10:42 AM PST up reply actions
We cook together all the time, good idea though.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:09 AM PST up reply actions
AndBears' gift for 2010
If you have small children, remove them from the house (in your company, preferably), or throw the missus / baby momma out to go do something that’s not chore related. I’m attempting to get Mrs DC Trojan to schedule a trip out west to see some friends while I try not to burn down the house and lose one of the children take charge on the home front.
Generally speaking, though, I don’t have to skip through this minefield because the Mrs gets pissed about large sums of money being wasted on frivolities, so as long as I come through with the occasional trip for her to Aveda to be pampered, it’s all good.
by DC Trojan on Dec 8, 2009 8:26 AM PST reply actions 2 recs
I very much recommend this action.
mrs. rocksanddirt likes nothing so much as to not have to deal with us for a bit….
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:39 AM PST up reply actions
well
they’re the only ones who had advice in the top part of the DBD . . . so not discrimination but instead, paying attention to the opening paragraph
No-one else has ante’d up anything else yet. But since I have been with Mrs DC Trojan for nigh-on 17 years and my daughters are 7 and 4.95, this is not the advice I need ;)
Although anyone who can assist with the pending disaster I have in the form of a not-quite-5 year old who has a “boyfriend” with the same first name as me (paging Dr Freud!) and 2 other male friends who are adamant that they are going to marry her… feel free to chime in.
While polyandry might be a feasible approach, I’m not underwriting it.
at 5 years old, your name is DAD. This boy is completely different.
tell the boys they can marry her when they bring you a goat.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
Bring me the head of Seattle Quacker!
by LeonPowe on Dec 8, 2009 9:03 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I’m not getting involved with UC Eugene / Berkeley North insurgency and counter- insurgency operations.
Well former NBA player and Sudanese Dinka tribesman Manute Bol paid a dowry of 80 cattle for his wife.
So there’s the market price.
Hmmm. I don’t know that I can accommodate 80 cattle. I may have to rethink this pricing structure a bit.
I went to highschool with a woman who paid
her way through college leasing the dairy cattle she raised through 4H to her father’s dairy.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:41 AM PST up reply actions
she raised dairy cows from the time she was small
through 4H (a farm based program similar to, but very different from boy/girl scouts).
her father runs a dairy, needs good dairy cows to make milk. buying adult cows outright? damn expensive (upwards of $10K per cow). A nice lease is win win for everyone.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:44 AM PST up reply actions
pulls off oski head
sorry that was me….
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:45 AM PST up reply actions
Haha Junior has scored an older woman. He turned 6 the other day and a sultry, 7 year old temptress, Emily, was laying claim to his affections.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
Fire Starkey: awww my kid has a lil girlfriend!
DC Trojan: awww MY kid has 2 lil girlfriends!!!
carp: My kid just filled up a gallon bucket with hurl.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 10:46 AM PST up reply actions
Haha my 12 yo daughter was texting someone the other day. “Who is that” I asked. “My friend Nolan.” This got my attention. “Nooooooolllllaaaaaannnnnnn??? And who is that???” Instant embarassment. I left off after that as too much teasing at that age on that subject would be dicey for the confidence I suspect.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:16 AM PST up reply actions
I’d provide poo jokes but we’re sort of past that stage. Mind you, the horror of Christmas day 2003 will live in infamy for some time around our house.
Older child was at the time the only child. We gave her one of those collapsible play houses, great excitement, she’s in there playing, and all of a sudden there’s this horrific rumbling tidal wave noise that sounds like the latrine pipes clearing in a cholera ward. Then we hear her say “uh oh,” she comes out, I check the diaper, which is only just holding up to Lake Excrement, so I rush her upstairs, and on automatic pilot put her on the changing table… thereby enabling the escape of the poop soup.
At which point we were both having hysterics.
That was a long, long cleanup job, not aided by having everyone else having a good laugh at my expense.
Remind me to never use your upstairs bathroom.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 9, 2009 11:07 AM PST up reply actions
yes.
pounds another pint of whiskey
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:46 AM PST up reply actions
at that age? ignore it.
we had a couple of those for eldest when she was that age….now they are all 14, and she has no use for them, and they are your basic teenage boy idiots.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:42 AM PST up reply actions
…I suppose if you commiserated with them, (oh, I miss my family, the ‘Hook’ family is all the way in Boonies, IND) you might be able to get to know someone you wouldn’t have otherwise…
but now I feel dirty.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
by AndBears on Dec 8, 2009 10:17 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
and this is why you fit in here so very very well.
just because it’s dirty, didn’t stop you from sharing.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:47 AM PST up reply actions
Go to a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. Mix the sex addiction with holiday depression and you have a recipe for Rishi success!!!
Ok, if I wasn’t burning in hell before, I most definitely am now.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:17 AM PST up reply actions
I think the impact of this gif would be significantly magnified if I could actually locate the ball at any point
after it leaves Colt McCoy’s hand.
As it is it’s like “ok so there’s somewhere between 3 and 0 seconds left. Thanks.”
O'Hara: Detective Lassiter is literally on fire.
Spencer: What kind of fire are we talking about-- "Michael Jackson in the Pepsi commercial" fire, or "misusing the word literally" fire?
PT, reading your insight/analysis is always a fun thing to do. However, I think it could do you some good
to get laid or somehow change your outlook on life/disposition.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 10:17 AM PST up reply actions
Serious question
(Before I start acting like Rishi again)
For those of us without significant others, what would you recommend buying for close female friends (outside of teddy bears — already purchased too many of those)? And what about for our lovely mothers?
<3
7
For close female friends, you would probably do well to keep it simple and informal. Books, small games, hobby related items are all good for close friends. Inside jokes especially good. (Don’t be too knowledgable/thoughtful – I know weird standard. If you get them a copy of the book they loved in childhood, say the velveteen rabbit, it means you want to be more than friends. See Friends Episode 4.06- The One With The Dirty Girl)
For moms, they’ll probably pull the old ‘oh, I don’t need anything dearie’ BS – but books (the latest oprah book), hobby items, household gifts (like photo frames, pictures of you), special candy are usually pretty good standards.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
If I gave my mother an Oprah-endorsed book for Christmas, she’d attempt to batter me to death with it.
Your maternal experience may vary.
Years ago, for a close female friend, I gave her a nice piece of cookware from Williams Sonoma. Cooking was one of her hobbies, so the gift was well received.
I mention it only because of the contrast: I’d never get something like that for Mrs. Ohio Bear. The implication is that you want her to cook more. Wouldn’t be well received.
Ah, the difference between friends and more than the friends!
Praise be to Tedford!
I know what would be getting iron'd should I purchase such a thing....
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:49 AM PST up reply actions
Really?
I’ve always been buying them “thoughtful” gifts, as opposed to generic gifts.
I always thought that’s what being a friend was about…
7
That’s up to you. I don’t buy presents for friends at all. I also avoid office gift exchanges like the plague.
Office gift exchanges are just awkward… especially if there’s any discrepency between how much individual gifts cost.
I suppose giving gifts to close female friends is a little awkward after marriage (or if you’re in a long-term commited relationship, I suppose).
7
I’m not very good at buying gifts, so this is what I tend to do instead:
1. Take them to lunch: a chance to catch up plus food (=win!)
2. Keep a list on my phone with random things they mention needing. Otherwise I never ever remember when the moment of gift-buying comes, and cop out to a gift card. The ideas aren’t always very exciting (my cousin needs a belt! my friend needs a wire cooling rack for baking!) but they’re generally better than said gift card
3. Unless a friend specifically requests a gift card. Safe, boring, not always used … but can still be useful.
2. Keep a list on my phone with random things they mention needing.
I really wish I were smart enough to have thought of that ages ago. Thanks!
7
Seriously what a great idea!
The only gift I’m probably getting is a Kindle for my dad, a watch for my mom and something for my little brother.
In other words, Go Bears!
Good one!
Cal Football: I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you. Never love anything.
by CalBandGreat on Dec 8, 2009 11:35 AM PST up reply actions
You are entirely too thoughtful, my dear.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:21 AM PST up reply actions
Whatever, office gift exchanges rock! Today I got a huge bag of chocolate while some poor, unsuspecting schlub got “Tabu” fr4om Walmart. It’s not just a cologne spray! It’s body lotion as well! All for just $5! Best money I have ever spent.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:20 AM PST up reply actions
"thoughtful" not "stalker-obsessive"
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:50 AM PST up reply actions
I’m talking about getting them a new sweater when they’ve mentioned they really wanted one, or something like that, not buying them a diamond ring.
7
sweater good, as long as you are not wearing a matching one
when you giv it….
;)
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 11:52 AM PST up reply actions
Shoulder Massager
It’s the perfect gift for moms, sisters, grandmas, casual aquantences, women at the office, girls you are talking to but haven’t quite closed the deal with yet, your mail carrier, …
Basically: Women get very sore shoulders that need lots and lots of massaging.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
Yeah, what is the deal with that?
My heart skips a beat every time I hear the band strike up 'Our Sturdy Golden Bear'.
It’s the boobs.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 10:49 AM PST up reply actions
and I suppose women (as a generalization) are more prone to stress and tension.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
Don’t forget that their orgasms are more elusive and require heavy equipment to induce.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
you are in a weird mood today, zoonews. What shall we infer about your personal life?
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
link
http://www.californiagoldenblogs.com/2009/12/8/1191193/dbd-12-08-09-female-christmas-wish#26798296
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
Flagged for sexist remark.
Men get stressed and tense up too.
Pig
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 10:59 AM PST up reply actions
OKAY NO. FUCK THIS SHIT. BULL CRAP AND A HALF. FLAGGED INTENSELY.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:01 AM PST up reply actions
To be fair, she didn’t say that women have to deal with more stress, just that they handle it more poorly.
7
more prone to
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:02 AM PST up reply actions
I did intend that women might internally handle stress differently. I apologize and respectfully withdraw my remark.
friends?
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
by AndBears on Dec 8, 2009 11:03 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Apology accepted, PIG!
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:04 AM PST up reply actions
HOW DARE YOU
I am not now, nor have I ever been, enrolled at the University of Oregon.
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:06 AM PST up reply actions
HOW DARE YOU
I am not now, nor have I ever been, enrolled at the University of Geese
In other words, Go Bears!
YOU… what’s another name for cat? er, never mind
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:10 AM PST up reply actions
kitty?
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 11:11 AM PST up reply actions
Agreed, to imply that someone went to a University other than Cal is a much more serious insult than to be sexist. (Sorry DC.)
FINE – everyone is a bear now!
BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS BEARS
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
Rowr.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
by zoonews on Dec 8, 2009 11:11 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Flagged
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:23 AM PST up reply actions
I suggest introducing your hand to your penis. You can use lotions and US Weekly as required to achieve proper results.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
by zoonews on Dec 8, 2009 11:07 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
Works for me!
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:23 AM PST up reply actions
rec’d!
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:06 AM PST up reply actions
FLAGGED INTENSELY
I think Spazzy just had an elusive orgasm
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:01 AM PST up reply actions
Didn’t require heavy equipment either. And that’s the difference between men and women in a nutshell.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
Although I would enjoy a good backhoe…
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:04 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
hiyoo
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:06 AM PST up reply actions
That’s always confused me, because it’s not like women ever carry anything. I basically act as my girlfriend’s pack mule when we’re together.
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 10:36 AM PST up reply actions
Money should not stand between your woman and a good shoulder massage.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
You can’t get to Good Vibrations from your work system? No wonder you have a hard time buying gifts for women!
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
by zoonews on Dec 8, 2009 10:51 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
IT’S A VIBRATOR
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:01 AM PST up reply actions
I thought that was a vibrator. Don’t give that to your mom. Unless you have a very progressive relationship like Jake Locker and his Mom do.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:22 AM PST up reply actions
Ugh Starkey, I’m trying to lead these kids to hilarity here!
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
just FYI, we probably won’t be able to watch the awkward christmas morning.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
Whoops, call me Mr. Buzzkill. I liked the “perfect for grandmas” touch though.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:29 AM PST up reply actions
I thought it would be obvious with those crazy attachments. Nope!
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
It’s because you pimped second-rate products. Everyone knows the best of breed:
Hitachi Magic Wand
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:33 AM PST up reply actions
Just kidding.
They’re the exact same thing.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:34 AM PST up reply actions
Im the Personal Masseuse at Chatteau Twist. It sucks! I have such weak thumbs. I can only last like 2 minutes before I have to stop and then she gets all mad.
…………..AND GO!
President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Flagged. Only dudes say that.
Email: bearsnecessities@gmail.com
by Avinash Kunnath on Dec 8, 2009 4:49 PM PST up reply actions
Flagged. Treating any comment I flag seriously.
Email: bearsnecessities@gmail.com
by Avinash Kunnath on Dec 9, 2009 1:20 AM PST up reply actions
for the former, costco-sized box of condoms and/or his/her k-y.
for the latter, umm, yeah. I’ve come to the conclusion that a statistically significant portion of mothers in their 50’s have become certifiably crazy.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
by carp on Dec 8, 2009 11:31 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
anyone want to give consumer feedback on his/her k-y? Haven’t tried, but there could be magic there.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
it’s mrs. carp approved. Need I say more?
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
Did Tosh tell you that?
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:35 AM PST up reply actions
Yeah what are the odds he banged my wife? Wait, don’t answer that.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
At least he’s a minor celebrity. Before I got married, I was working as a valet and the soon to be Mrs Fire Starkey dropped by to give me something. The guy I was working with was giving her strange looks and after she left asks me “Is her name Michelle?”. “Yeah, you know her?” Dude: “Yeah, I think I banged her a couple of years ago at a party.”
Greeeeaaaatttttttttttt. So it could be worse, carp. It could be worse.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:44 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
LOL… was this story validated?
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:46 AM PST up reply actions
She wasn’t sure. She remembered the party (apparently it was epic) and vaguely remembered him but seemed to think her friend hooked up with the dudes friend… anyway, it was possible. Teenagers!
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:51 AM PST up reply actions
fancy girl talk there. the CIA couldn’t crack that code.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
I think she handled it just right: “No honey, you’re my first, and you’re certainly the best.” Whereupon you just nod and smile.
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 12:00 PM PST up reply actions
::nods and smiles::
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 12:03 PM PST up reply actions
then she kisses you and in about 15 seconds you already forgot what you were talking about. It’s worked on me many times.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
Babies aren’t made by kissing. Or dancing.
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 12:11 PM PST up reply actions
It’s like your peepees touched.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:48 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
go with liquid silk. that shit never fails.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:35 AM PST up reply actions
So does Icy Hot. Reminder to self… don’t put Icy Hot on your privates to act as lube.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:37 AM PST up reply actions
I really hope nobody would be so stupid as to do that.
::stares at Fire Starkey::
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:39 AM PST up reply actions
I'VE never done that
but I had a friend who did. He learned his lesson.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:45 AM PST up reply actions
I’m just shocked this story didn’t end with you getting hit in the head with a dildo.
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 11:45 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
haha
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:52 AM PST up reply actions
mmm
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:49 AM PST up reply actions
carp has a warehouse-sized penis
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:34 AM PST up reply actions
bulk quantity you know what I’m sayin
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:36 AM PST up reply actions
Using my scientific powers of observation, I’ve concluded that my wife is hornier when she’s not on BCP’s. It makes it riskier, yes, but there’s also an element of 1 nite stand-edness to it that can really spice up a relationship that’s nearing year 9.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
I hope Mrs. Carp herself isnt reading this.
Is there anything lamer than people GENUINELY bragging about their sex life? Thats why I always claim that I have none and that Ive been ruined by getting married. And not because it is in any way at all true or correct or even remotely close to accurate. No siree no.
………………………..AND GO!
President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Haha I bought one of those deals when I was in my teens thinking I was big daddy the Mack. Sadly, it went untouched. Fire Starkey hit a cold streak of epic proportions. I think it was bad karma from buying the mega condom 64 pack.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:36 AM PST up reply actions
For carp and Fire Starkey.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:38 AM PST up reply actions
well, that would probably last at least a year :(
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
Not once Rags Jr comes home to roost…
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:45 AM PST up reply actions
Yeah, sorry to break that to you.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:46 AM PST up reply actions
I will never forget your answer when I asked you what was different about being married. Classic.
CGB: Wasting Your Potential, Your Time, & Your Life Since 2006.
“PENIS GOES WHERE?!”
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:49 PM PST up reply actions
COUGAR!
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:45 AM PST up reply actions
Figure 6 weeks for your body to heal after the trauma of childbirth.
Then 3-6 months of being too tired because of around the clock baby care.
THEN you have about a 3 month window of sex before Rags Jr starts crawling everywhere. Naps don’t work because as soon as you start getting busy, Junior will cry- its automatic
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:49 AM PST up reply actions
accident
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:51 AM PST up reply actions
my wife and I have convs re; “I see why people only have one kid.”
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
two words: boarding school.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:05 PM PST up reply actions
Deperate 45 second fumblings in the pantry?
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:55 AM PST up reply actions
Well, as sad as this sounds…you need to plan alone time every week or two. Hopefully, you have parents nearby who will watch the baby overnight. Otherwise, you will go insane without a break every now and then.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:57 AM PST up reply actions
good advice, I’ll start signing up friends and in-laws to watch the kid.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
to follow up on this, you both will need some “alone time”, i.e. away from everyone also. Helps keep you sane, believe me. So maybe he watches baby while you go out with the girls one night and vice cersa the next night. Keeps the self identity going and all that…
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 12:02 PM PST up reply actions
Hey Carp & Zoonews – since this is highly recommended for me in the upcoming year, maybe I should be proactive and offer to sit for your little ones. I can’t promise the diapers will be perfect, but they should survive the night. — You guys can contact me.
Fire Starkey, I could sit with your kids, but I have no idea what to do with a 7 yearold and a 4.95 year old. ALTHOUGH I do have a wii and an xbox.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
We aren’t the the point of “sitting” yet. He can still barely just lay there.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
5+7 are the BEST babysitting ages. Old enough to know how to poop/brush their own teeth, but young enough to still think just about everything you do is awesome.
I once babysat this kid and we built a train set together that took up the whole living room. The parents called me to babysit again about 2 months after that AND THE TRAIN SET WAS STILL UP.
It was one of my life’s prouder moments.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:21 PM PST up reply actions
I thought DC Trojan had the 7 and 4.95 year olds. Are you trying to steal his kids?
President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
Hey chica, you know I’m down for baby-sitting, just as long as you and Rags give me no details about your plans whatsoever. auntie kolwave! :-D
I’m going to start calling everyone ‘chica’
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 12:36 PM PST up reply actions
Then 3-6 months of being too tired because of around the clock baby care.
I don’t buy this. Sex doesn’t take that long. It’s because of lack of sex drive because your body has seen what sex actually is supposed to produce and mentally rejects the idea.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:51 AM PST up reply actions
are you saying that Rags is a minute man?
Actually, I was referring to being so tired from the aforementioned around the clock baby care that AndBerars and Rags wouldn’t have the energy
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:53 AM PST up reply actions
…don’t you have a friend zone you have to go stand in right about now?
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:58 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
haha…one of the better comebacks evair.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
That will come Thursday night! Still deciding which beer to buy from my local QFC
In other words, Go Bears!
AndBears, remember that you can always post inane sexual nonsense on this site to diffuse your pent-up rage with humor while leading the youth of Berkeley down a path of horrible awkwardness with their grandmothers and co-workers. Works for me!
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
by zoonews on Dec 8, 2009 11:52 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Truth – “make a baby time” is perhaps the greatest months of my life.
But also Cougar a little bit – it’s not like we’re 19 anymore and she’s definitely not trying to keep my interest with copious amounts of booty.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
It’s OK, bud. I’m sure you have a high VORP over most chemistry Post-Docs.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:42 AM PST up reply actions
Do you mule drugs on the weekend?
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:38 AM PST up reply actions
I’m telling you dude. BAD KARMA. You are thumbing your nose at the Gods of Scoring by getting mega packs of condoms. They will ensure your patented “Lemon Drop” technique is an epic failure time after time.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:39 AM PST up reply actions
The only time I bought a megapack of condoms was in Target, when there was a kid screaming on the floor of the aisle. I looked at the kid, thought “Aw HELL no” and bought the biggest pack I could.
by sec119 on Dec 8, 2009 11:54 AM PST up reply actions 4 recs
rec’d cuz I hate kids too.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:00 PM PST up reply actions 3 recs
Rec’d to keep the chain going.
"Let me tell you a story. I was a political prisoner for two years. The instant I was released I ran to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a Coke.
It was fantastic."
-Toyama Koichi, US Presidential candidate from Japan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGZqOkeYbB0
by AERose on Dec 8, 2009 4:45 PM PST up reply actions 3 recs
rec’d for the green
In other words, Go Bears!
by royrules22 on Dec 8, 2009 4:47 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
remember that ad that showed the guy in the supermarket aisle with his kid screaming his head off over not getting some cereal or something? you thought the ad was for some kind of food or safeway but then it went like “condoms. use them.”
haha that was great.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:00 PM PST up reply actions
Best Commercial Ever.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 12:04 PM PST up reply actions
UC hires audit firm to review UCSF budget
I think this is a big deal, to be honest, since the pressure for an outside auditor came from a US senator (accepting federal funds = federal control).
My lady female friend of greater attention than others wants one of those iPod plug in speaker combos. I think it’s a great gift, but I’ve always kind of been about surprises/getting a gift that may not be as expensive but shows time thought or time spent rather than money. Jewelry just seems like such a cop out, throwing money at a problem, unless it’s something she really and truly wants over other things.
Anyway back from tangent, should I just nut up and buy this boring hunk of electronica? Or go for something more special?
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
Or maybe cook her an iPod speaker set?
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 10:51 AM PST up reply actions
That shows lots of personalized attention and effort and might send the wrong signal that you want to bang her.
7
But I do…and did…
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:04 AM PST up reply actions
er, what?
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:13 AM PST up reply actions
buy the thing she wants but accent it with new music or some other personal touch.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
Like a racing stripe and flames up the side.
by Yes We Cannon on Dec 8, 2009 10:52 AM PST up reply actions 3 recs
Sweet! yes!
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:04 AM PST up reply actions
I suggest something more special, like a glass dildo.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
AndBears: Great or Greatest Wife Evair?
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
k, the plan is to cook her an iPod speaker in the shape of a glass dildo with a racing stripe and flames up the side, that makes sure to fit her boob size.
CGB comes through in the clutch!
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:05 AM PST up reply actions
Man, I had a chick friend back in the day who LOVED glass dildos. She swore it was better than the real thing.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:25 AM PST up reply actions
I wonder if that one 14 year old girl who showed up to the Big Game tailgate is reading.
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 11:27 AM PST up reply actions 2 recs
I forget how the subject came up but it did. What followed was a 45 minute conversation about the pros and cons of various sex toys. I sat there in bemused silence with a couple of other guys while my friend and 3 other girls expounded on the subject in detail.
For months afterwards, if I saw her in the hall and she looked like she was in a good mood, I’d ask “glass dildo action?” and she’d just give me a knowing smile.
Ahhhh, to be young again…
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:33 AM PST up reply actions
That is exactly the wrong kind of reaction here.
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 11:36 AM PST up reply actions
Whatever, I found it very educational actually. Being 21ish or so, I thought I knew how to do the right things. I learned much that hadn’t occurred to me…
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:40 AM PST up reply actions
You and Royrules continue to battle for DBD LOSER!
President Emperor Warlord Of The Sun!
www.CaliforniaGoldenBlogs.com
I Had tons of conversations like this. Now I know a lot of intimate details with people I only see once a year at big game.
Ragnarok: Great Man or Greatest Man?
so very true.
and people I only know through the innernetz.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 12:04 PM PST up reply actions
from what I remember hearing on loveline, something like 75% of women CAN’T EVER o from a penis.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:27 AM PST up reply actions
I need to know why glass over other materials like plastic, teflon, or carbon nanotubes.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
Texture and especially, heat sensitivity. She liked to warm the thing up. Said it was amazing that way.
Goin' balls deep with Cal since 1972!
by Fire Starkey on Dec 8, 2009 11:56 AM PST up reply actions
a reliable source I know....
puts her glass one in the fridge for a bit first….
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 12:05 PM PST up reply actions
It’s his wife, tard
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 12:05 PM PST up reply actions
No U
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 12:08 PM PST up reply actions
well... it's not me....
as mrs. doesn’t like toys of that sort.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 12:06 PM PST up reply actions
Winna!
i’ve been subtly out TMI’ing people on the innernets since before you were in high school, son.
With time and practice come wisdom, eerrrr, or not.
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 12:12 PM PST up reply actions
it's actually totally unconscious.
i blather on, and then someone says….ew, awkward tmi!
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 12:15 PM PST up reply actions
true.
and actually the source of my info is another friend….whose way into the toys….her hubby is a long haul trucker and stops into the various adult stores along his routes…..
Go Bears Go
by Rocksanddirt on Dec 8, 2009 12:18 PM PST up reply actions
I thought my C&E News said they were safer materials? I could be wrong, I’m in the other half of chemistry that isn’t nano-crazy.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
but it’s so light and strong!
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
what the carp?
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 12:16 PM PST up reply actions
I had no idea there was any way to pronounce it without the long e.
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 10:49 AM PST up reply actions
It’s pronounced “thermometer”
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 10:50 AM PST up reply actions
http://www.kashwereathome.com/
These guys make blankets, robes, slippers, and a ton of other things using a material that feels just like cashmere but at a price everyone can afford!
I don't know, people tend to hate my WWE previews
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 11:09 AM PST up reply actions
the comments are getting us there
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:10 AM PST up reply actions
No: On principle. Females should never be allowed to orgasm.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:14 AM PST up reply actions
ur doing it rong
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:14 AM PST up reply actions
I'm fairly certain 33ss has more game than pretty much everyone on this board.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:10 PM PST up reply actions
well mine is definitely in the shitter. I have to resort to taking the baby to the mall, taking the wedding ring off, and telling all the temptresses that “we lost mommy in the delivery, but we’re working on making a comeback.”
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
8 chix in 8 weeks, buddy boy......you top that?
That’s tip of ice berg.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:22 PM PST up reply actions
We'll leave it at that (i'm permanantely off the market)
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:23 PM PST up reply actions
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
and no use of internet. Straight pick up.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:24 PM PST up reply actions
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
lol.
This thread has taken a turn for the Ohio.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 12:25 PM PST up reply actions
Are there a lot of insecure girls and predatory assholes in Ohio?
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
There’s a lot of Ohio in Ohio.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 12:27 PM PST up reply actions
No denying that
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 12:28 PM PST up reply actions
Don't hate the player, hate the game. I heard that in a rap song once, i believe.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:27 PM PST up reply actions
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
A guy hooks up with a girl one night and he is suddenly a predatory asshole? Quit it already. It takes two to play the game.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:29 PM PST up reply actions
Yes. I'm not some lame ass like Tiger creepin on my wife.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
To be 100% clear, aforementioned "achievements" happened pre-wife.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:38 PM PST up reply actions
Yes, you need to be 100% clear about that.
Because we really care about you and your marriage around here.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
There is nothing sketch about 33ss. Tiger woods and all men who creep on their wifey
are scum. So yes, I do need to be clear.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:40 PM PST up reply actions
Took you that long to blow my cover? Damn.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:42 PM PST up reply actions
That's the best you can come with, player?
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:48 PM PST up reply actions
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
You should stop raping women.
That’s all I’m saying!
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
You should learn to be funny and find the nearest treadmill?
Love it.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:36 PM PST up reply actions
Can you recommend some funny movies for me to watch so I can learn how to be funny?
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
I heard Brokeback mountain is pretty sweet.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:38 PM PST up reply actions
Ha ha ha, that's a drama you funny guy!
Name 5 favorite comedies of yours, I really want to please you with my future jokes.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
Zoonews, it's feeding time. Gotta go pound some cheeseburgers.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:41 PM PST up reply actions
You can’t think of 5 movies that won’t result in you being mocked.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
Mocked by some random internet guys? Come on dude. Focus on being a good parent and a good husband.
Like I said, I have some cheeseburgers to go pound.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:43 PM PST up reply actions
Here’s his list:
American Pie 2: Bro Harder
Old School
Old School: Attack of the Bros
Animal House 3: HEY POUR SOME CHILI IN MY MOUTH BRO
Black Sheep 2: GO FOR IT BRO
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:51 PM PST up reply actions 3 recs
I can’t.
I don’t think I can even get mrs. carp 8 times in 8 weeks.
"We lose to Stanford in many sports, but if you want to make a Cal team quit, bring a weapon."
--Coach Clark
carp, you are one guy who doesn't get on my nerves in this joint.
You, Mr. Turkey, and Mr. Twist.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:28 PM PST up reply actions
What about me, 33SS?
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 12:33 PM PST up reply actions
Too much of an apologist, but still a great contributor and found father of CGB.
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:36 PM PST up reply actions
Yellow Fever found his father?
www.californiagoldenblogs.com
by CBKWit on Dec 8, 2009 12:43 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
haha.....
pretty much shut you down……
by 33SwisherSweet on Dec 8, 2009 12:48 PM PST up reply actions
NO WAY BRAH BRAH
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:52 PM PST up reply actions
Okay, who wants to take this one?
Flagged for conflict of interest!
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:26 PM PST up reply actions
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions 2 recs
To change the subject ever so slightly
Why don’t we use the guillotine for the death penalty? Is a 10 minute medicated death seriously somehow less “cruel” than a freaking 1/10th of a second instant/sure death?! I mean guillotine…quick and easy…and you can put the head on a stick for the townsfolk to see and discourage more crime!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091208/ap_on_re_us/us_ohio_execution
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
Hooray for Ohio leading the pack in something noteworthy!
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:13 AM PST up reply actions
Why don’t we just abolish the death penalty? Then we can stop executing innocent people.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
I didn’t want this to be a yes vs no death penalty argument, just a shout-out to the amazing effectiveness of the guillotine.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:21 AM PST up reply actions
OK, yes, the guillotine would be a great way to quickly and cleanly kill factually innocent people like the guy in the linked article.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
definitely didn’t read article.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:23 AM PST up reply actions
Wow, a non-Marmaduke strip.
Proud to hold season tickets to the only NBA team soon to be owned by a Russian oligarch.
by yellow fever on Dec 8, 2009 11:26 AM PST up reply actions
too late, I think I saw an infomercial for that at like 2am.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:21 AM PST up reply actions
This thread has taken a turn for the Ohio.
Like cocaine straight from Bolivia.
by Thoroughbred on Dec 8, 2009 11:15 AM PST up reply actions
clearly no longer with worst DBD evair
Costs assessed against Twist
by CALumbus Bear on Dec 8, 2009 11:24 AM PST up reply actions
Because you have a chance of fucking up if the blade is blunt or something.
Also I assume it’s painful (though no one knows for sure since you know those who have been beheaded are dead). Whereas with lethal injection I think it knocks off your sensory inputs first so you don’t feel pain.
In other words, Go Bears!
Yeah but you can easily check for blade bluntness by first executing, like, a dummy or a cabbage or something. An injection is WAY easier to fuck up. And has been done.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 11:25 AM PST up reply actions
Until they start televising executions, I don’t care how they go about it. Beheading might be the best to watch.
Cal Football: I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you. Never love anything.
by CalBandGreat on Dec 8, 2009 11:22 AM PST up reply actions
The death may be ‘sure,’ but probably not instantaneous.
Oh that’s all a bunch of baloney.
The Lack of Mack's Imposition Attacks My Disposition.
by Spazzy Mcgee on Dec 8, 2009 12:03 PM PST up reply actions
And now we’re back full circle to the theme of this DBD, which is that a guillotine meat slicer would be an awesome gift.
I have a really nice one, and I cook, but I hardly use it.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
A real guillotine? Not a mandolin, nor a mechanical deli meat slicer, nor a wire cutter? That’s AWESOME. But I see your point, I don’t ever stop and think “Man I could really use a guillotine meat slicer right about now.”
Oops, no. I have a really expensive mandolin that I don’t use and it can take your fingertips off like a guillotine, hence my confusion.
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.