It's that time of the year. Coy Athletic Directors are getting frisky, losing coaches are getting antsy, and unspeakable sins cry out for retribution. The college football season is nearly over and it's time to can some coaches!
Let's review some of the higher profile sackings to come, shall we?
Status: Oh get the fuck out.
A failure so baffling it gave birth to a new verb in the college football fan's lexicon. A can't-miss hire after rehabilitating the Tulsa football program from perpetual loser to Conference USA contention (a status it, ironically, continues to enjoy to this day), Kragthorpe inherited a loaded, successful Louisville team hot off Bobby Petrino's swan song Orange Bowl Championship run and proceeded to do fuck-all with it, reeling in a 6-6 season without a bowl berth. After a slow start in his first season, Kragthrope's chances of success in Louisville fizzled out entirely as the one time five star coaching prospect turned in 5-7 and 4-8 seasons, and particularly damning, only one win in three tries against the lowly Syracuse Orange.
via a.espncdn.comCoach: Dan Hawkins
Status: See below.
No, Dan Hawkins has not been fired yet, and as a matter of fact it's been confirmed that he'll come back for another beer stained vomitous season in Boulder. But I like to live on the edge, so I'm going to classify Hawkins as Fired regardless. Will he coach 12 more games in Boulder? Yes. Will he coach 13 games next year, though? No. There's no light you can just flick on to make this Colorado team good, especially with Cal, Georgia, and Oklahoma on the schedule. The Buffs will go through the motions, upset one team (not Cal, though), be competitive in other games, and get beaten down in the rest. With Hawkins' buyout negotiated down to a manageable sum, Colorado will give him the boot by the end of the year, ending the reign of Kragthorpe's brother in mid major success, BCS failure.
via i.a.cnn.netCoach: Al Groh
Status: Buyout be damned!
A mediocre coach on both the college and pro level, Groh's peak as the jefe was either a nine win season in 2002 or a nine win season in 2007. In nine seasons Groh has never lost less than four games and currently stands only 3 wins over .500. His greatest accomplishment off the field was somehow hoodwinking the Virginia athletic department into offering him a contract with a six (!) million (!) dollar (!) buyout (!!!). He's gone anyway.
University: Georgia Tech
Status: Release the hounds!
339 yards on 44 carries. Two running backs over 150 yards. This isn't Bob Gregory people, this is the genuine article: the worst defensive coordinator in the BCS. Perhaps Wazzu has had worse performances in rushing defense, but that's about the best that can be said about the grotesque egg laid by Wommack's players against Georgia. Not only should Wommack be fired, he should be forced to repay all or part of his salary from this year. Failing that, he should be ridden out of Atlanta on a rail. I wouldn't be surprised if Paul Johnson kills and eats him. He's certainly worth more as meat than he is as a defensive coordinator.