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DBD 11.13.09: [translated] Where's My Pancakes?

Pre-translation:"ON THE PHONE WITH THIS FAT CHICK......WHERER MY IHOP"

Story: Facebook status keeps kid out of jail. Swedish Chef has more:

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via 3.bp.blogspot.com

Vhere-a’s my puncekes, reed Rudney Bredffurd’s Fecebuuk pege-a, in a messege-a typed oon Setoordey, Ooct. Um de hur de hur de hur. 17, et 11:49 a.m., frum a cumpooter in hees fezeer’s epertment in Herlem.

Et zee teeme-a, zee sentence-a, vreettee in indeceephereble-a street slung, ves joost unuzeer nefel-gezeeng, crypteec Fecebuuk stetoos updete-a — vurds thet vere-a gubbledyguuk tu unyune-a beseedes Mr. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Bredffurd. Bork bork bork!

Boot vhee Mr. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Bredffurd, a skeenny, shurt 19-yeer-oold reseedent ooff zee Ferregoot Huooses, ves errested zee next dey es a soospect in a rubbery, zee vurds tuuk oon a lefel ooff impurtunce-a thet nu oone-a in zeeur veeldest dreems — leest ooff ell Mr. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Bredffurd — cuoold hefe-a imegeened. Bork bork bork! Zeey beceme-a hees eleebi.

Hees deffense-a levyer, Rubert Reoolund, tuld a Bruuklyn esseestunt deestrict etturney, Leendsey Gerdes, ebuoot zee Fecebuuk intry, vheech ves mede-a et zee teeme-a ooff zee rubbery. Bork bork bork! Zee deestrict etturney soobpueneed Fecebuuk tu fereeffy thet zee stetoos updete-a hed ectooelly beee typed frum a cumpooter luceted et 71 Vest 118t Street in Herlem, es Mr. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Bredffurd seeed. Bork bork bork! Vhee thet ves cunffurmed, zee cherges vere-a drupped. Bork bork bork!

"Thees is zee furst cese-a thet I’m evere-a ooff in vheech a Fecebuuk updete-a hes beee used es eleebi ifeedence-a," seeed Juhn Brooneeng, a levyer und member ooff zee Delles Ber Essuceeeshun vhu stoodeees suceeel netvurkeeng und zee lev. "Ve-a ere-a gueeng tu see-a mure-a ooff thet becoose-a ooff hoo prefelent suceeel netvurkeeng hes becume-a."

However, it seems that the status update isn't good enough for everyone. Again, to Swedish Chef:

Boot Juseph Pulleeni, vhu teeches in zee Depertment ooff Lev, Puleece-a Sceeence-a und Creeminel Joosteece-a Edmeenistreshun et Juhn Jey Cullege-a ooff Creeminel Joosteece-a, seeed prusecooturs shuoold nut hefe-a beee su qooeeck tu drup zee cherges. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

"Veet a userneme-a und pessvurd, unyune-a cun inpoot deta in a Fecebuuk pege-a," he-a seeed. Bork bork bork!

"Sume-a ooff zee breeghtest peuple-a oon zee Internet ere-a teenegers," he-a seeed. Bork bork bork!"Zeey knoo zee Internet better thun a lut ooff peuple-a. Vhy? Becoose-a zeey use-a it ell zee teeme-a.

"Su zeey cuoold defelup un eleebi," he-a seeed. Bork bork bork! "Zeey vetch telefeesiun, zee mufeees, zeere-a is a moolteetoode-a ooff reesuns vhy sumeune-a ooff thet ege-a vuoold hefe-a zee knooledge-a tu du a creeme-a leeke-a thet. Um de hur de hur de hur."

Personally, I am a fan of any argument based on the "it's those darned teenagers playing on them Internets all the time, learning how to subvert justice from watching them movies" premise. Go Bears.

Also, it's Friday the 13th. Spoooooooooky.

Be nice. You can find the original CGB team at WriteForCalifornia.com.

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